Faithfully
by Mopargirl1
Summary: A story about growth, personal discovery, and unlikely friendships. I'm not entirely sure how this story will play out. And I don't really know what to write in summary! [ Toll Road/ Oc] this story is rated m for adult subject matter.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer- I do not own anything in this story except my oc, no copyright infringement intended.

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**A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step** - Lao-tzu

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Toll pulled onto his street feeling exhausted and really glad he was home. It was late nearly eleven at night he was looking forward to a hot shower, frozen dinner and a soft bed. But the thought of his empty house felt suffocating this time. When he was young he had never pictured his life turning out like this. He was turning fifty in two months and he had no family. It seemed like not that long ago when he turned forty and he had felt this same longing for more but he'd told himself he had plenty of time, forty wasn't old. Then at forty-five he'd thought about looking for someone but he wasn't the out going type and how many women were men in his profession likely to meet. He didn't have any friends outside of his business partners and lets face it most of the women they attracted were the one night stand types. The ones you meet in seedy bars who generally in his experience had been around or the for hire girls. That seemed to work well for Hale and Gunnar but Hale wasn't even forty-five and Gunnar well who knew with Gunnar.

It had been a longtime since he'd even been with a women, he craved way more than he could get from the women in his sphere. If he was more like Lee maybe he'd find someone, Lee had Lacy and even though she'd cheated on him she was a cut above the sort of women he could get. He knew that tomorrow he wouldn't be so concerned with it, the strain of near death experiences sometimes made you analyze life.

He pulled in his yard, coming to a stop in front of the garage and killing the engine. Telling himself he wasn't going to wallow in self pity about how unfair his life had turned out any longer. He grabbed his gear bag and headed for the front door, thinking instead about a hot shower to wash three days worth of filth away and sooth his aching muscles. Then he'd grab something to eat and crawl into bed with a good book. He opened up the door and set his bag down heading for the laundry room, he stripped throwing his cloths in the washer and turning it on. Then he headed for the master bath.


	2. Chapter 1

** And on that cheek, and o'er that brow, **

**So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,**

** The smiles that win, the tints that glow,**

**lord Byron**

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Toll noticed the moving trucks when pulled onto his road the following morning. He'd woke up to empty cupboards and a half a gallon of out of date milk so he'd gone to the twenty four hour grocery store to buy food. When he'd made the turn onto his street he immediately noticed the u-haul trucks in the yard. The old two story with its porch that wrapped around the front and down one side had set empty for two years now, in a sort of dignified decay, leaving the passerby in little doubt of its former glory. It set on the end of his street, on a knoll surrounded by tall willows and a few cottonwoods, out of place amid the cookie cutter tract housing that surrounded it. On some level it made him happy that it would finally house people again and curious over what type of people they were.

Kameron "Mac" Sinclair walked through her beautiful new home with a bounce in her step. Finally all her hard work was paying off and her father had said she'd never make it. Well she had proved him wrong, she was a successful business owner and she'd just bought the house of her dreams, and she'd done it all without a man! Yes indeed she had finally arrived, all her careful planning and determination had paid off.

"Mac?" Liam called wondering where she'd gone to now, he knew she was happy and he understood that, but at the moment, they needed to know where she wanted these boxes. "Ya" she hollered from the kitchen, appearing in the hall at the back of the house outside the kitchen door. "Can you come tell us where you want this stuff." She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance, smiled and said "they are clearly labeled brother." He nodded and said, "ya, I see that but I don't know where the living room, dining room, office, and everything else goes, sister." Eyes twinkling she answered, "living room stuff in the big room to the right, dining room is the big room to the left, the office is the room back here with all the book cases, and put everything else not marked bedroom, bathroom or garage in the room between the kitchen and dining room. I will sort through everything that goes in there later." Liam smiled his beautiful little sisters good mood was infectious today. Despite the wreck his own life was at the moment, Mac was happy so he'd be happy with her! "10 4 captain!" He replied chuckling he went outside to help with the unloading. Macs friends Seth and Holly had come to help out, along with a couple of his own friends.

Toll found himself increasingly curious about the new people down the street, as he'd been unloading groceries he'd seen a big red truck pull up across the street, a couple of guys got out and walked over he saw a black lab come bounding out of the drive way to meet them, one of them bent down to pet it. Then they started for the house again disappearing up the drive way, the young lab prancing along beside. Funny he wasn't usually curious about his neighbors, but he found himself wondering if it was a large family or one or two people. The house was really big for one person, it was the kind of place you bought if you had a family or were planning to soon. He thought about walking down and introducing himself, then instantly changed his mind, he wasn't the type to go around introducing himself to strangers. Yet, even after a day of settling back in and hanging out at Tools he found himself curious.

The irritating beep, beep, beep of Macs alarm clock woke her up at six thirty, she so desperately wanted to hit snooze but knew she couldn't. There was no way, she had so much to accomplish today and she wanted to go for a run, so it was now or never. She rolled out of bed and got up heading down the hall to the room Liam was sleeping in, she hoped her stubborn brother and Beth could work things out, she loved them both they'd been married for four years now. She wasn't sure exactly what had happened between them but she imagined it was Liam's penchant for staying out late and drinking, and when you had a child on the way that didn't work so well. She opened up his door stepping inside, "wakey, wakey, hands of snakey." She said quoting her brothers favorite tv show. "What do you want?" He asked not moving at all. "It's time to run." He grumbled into his pillow, "not this morning." She laughed, "I told you, you wouldn't want to go last night, but you insisted I wake you." He grumbled some more and threw a pillow at her, "go away." He said. She laughed and left the room. Heading back to her own room, goose her one year old lab puppy, was laying on the foot of her bed his tail thumping, whole body wiggling. "Well" she began stopping to pet him, "at least some one besides me is in a good mood." Mac changed into yoga pants and a tank top, brushed her teeth , and combed her hair, pulling it up in a messy bun. She pulled on socks and a pair of gray and black pumas, then headed down stairs. She never ate or drank before her morning run, it was better if you didn't, you boosted your metabolism better. She had no idea where Goose's harness and leash were at the moment, so she looked down at her over eager companion and said, "you better stay with me, I have no idea where your leash is, but I'm going to let you go anyway." He thumped his tail and whined as if in agreement, she arched her eyebrow looking down at him and said, "I'll remember you agreed mister."

She didn't know the neighborhood so what she had planned on being a thirty minute power run had turned into an hour. It was nearly seven-thirty when she found the other end of her road, and she needed to be at her office at eight thirty. She started down the road at a full on sprint, she couldn't be late for this appointment, Mrs.. Caffery was a wealthy and influential client, if Mac did an exemplary job catering this anniversary party for her, it would mean taking her business to a whole other level.

Toll had decided to run this morning, not something he did nearly often enough, he stepped out the front door locking it behind him and turned on his iPod sticking in his ear buds, he left his house heading the back way, there was a slight grade heading this way, it worked your body harder. He hadn't got far when he looked up and saw someone running in his direction, the someone was a she and she wasn't just running she was sprinting, she moved from the sidewalk to the road as she got closer, but all the same she looked at him and gave him a friendly smile, and a wave as she passed by. She had stunning eyes a bright emerald green, and her smile was gorgeous, he found himself smiling in return. He kept running then stopped and looked back, he hadn't noticed the young lab following along behind her before, curious if she was his new neighbor he decided to watch, she stopped running just the other side of his house hands on her hips she started walking, she looked back over her shoulder, even from a distance he could see she smiled at him again then disappeared up the last driveway on the street.

Toll ran close to three miles in all, his legs were sore but it was a good kind of sore, not like the kind he usually felt, as a result of job hazards, or from setting on a plane for hours. He felt good today almost happy. It's amazing what a friendly smile accompanied by the greenest eyes he'd ever seen was doing for him. A man could fall right into those eyes, to use the corny cliche. He gave himself a mental shake never one to dwell on a pretty face long his mind moved onto other things.

Mac had made it to her meeting but barely, she wasn't nearly as put together as she had wanted. All her makeup had vanished along with her hair products, so she showered dried her hair and twist braided it. Then put on a pair of dark blue rock republic jeans a gray frilly tank top, black cardigan and black ankle boots. She didn't do more than glance in the mirror, when she got downstairs Liam was waiting by the door with the keys to his truck, "couldn't find your keys." He said by way of explanation. She smiled gave him a big hug and said "I'll see you in a few hours." Running out the door and down the driveway. She was incredibly glad that Liam knew her well enough to know, she was a. late, and b. always lost her keys. She climbed into his black lifted F-350, and started her up, a puff of black smoke from the 7.3 diesel filling the air.

Her meeting went off with out a hitch, she got the job! She spent longer at the office than she had intended. Making final adjustments to a menu for a wedding she was doing this Saturday, she left her assistant Anna with a shopping list and headed home. She needed to get back and get her kitchen unpacked and cleaned, she had a guy coming to start the commercial licensing papers Thursday. Hopefully that would be as smooth as her morning had gone. In the mood to celebrate she stopped by the grocery store on her way home. She would cook Liam grilled flank steak with avocado salsa, and cauliflower rice for diner it was one of his favorites.

Toll wasn't really surprised when Hale showed up, or that he wanted to head to Tools. His friend was nothing but predictable, telling him he should have went out last night. Teasing him about the little red headed waitress named Amber at the old point bar their usual hangout. How she'd asked where he was, he didn't doubt that she had, the women had made in plainly evident she'd be more than willing to take him for a ride anytime. He personally wanted nothing to do with it, she'd had a bit more experience than he found appealing. The first night they'd seen her there she'd gone home with Gunnar, but before they'd left she made sure Toll knew he had an open invitation anytime. Her constant pursuit of him, gave the guys something to give him shit about. Or rather one more thing in a long line of things, if it wasn't his reading habits, it was his ear, if it wasn't his ear it was his quote unquote shyness with women, so Amber only added fuel to the fire, Hale had dubbed him a prude, Gunnar had encouraged him to live a little, swearing Amber was damn good ride. Ya, that was a stellar recommendation if he'd heard one, he really didn't want any part of Gunnar's leftovers.

That night he ended up at the usual hangout; luckily for him Amber had called in sick, that didn't stop the ribbing he got from or the others. Toll had very little to say as usual he let them have their fun, at his expense.


	3. Chapter 2

**serendipity**

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Five days later

Toll heard them coming long before he saw them, he was in his garage changing the oil in his bike; when he heard the first peal of laughter and a taunting voice saying, "look now I'm running circles around you backwards!" Followed by more loud feminine laughter. Then "you better be careful or I'm going to kick your little ass." The voice sounding winded but good natured. He stepped outside of his garage to see what was going on, he found the display entertaining the girl he recognized from a few days ago, the man he hadn't seen before. She was running in circles backwards around the guy who was running also. Her smile was radiant and mischievous, she said in a laughing voice, "that would require you catching me first." At that moment her gaze came to him and she tripped landing on her backside, she instantly started laughing her gaze coming back to him, the man stopped and looked over at him, then back at the women, "that's karma." He announced then reached out taking her hand and helping her up. She brushed herself off. Toll turned chuckled to himself and stepped back inside.

When Mac finished wiping herself off, the man had gone back into his garage. He wasn't what one would call handsome, but he was defiantly masculine and he had an amazing smile. As she and Liam walked the rest of the way to her house she looked back twice to see if she could see him, which Liam noticed and teased her about. Saying "oh has little sister found something she likes?" She rolled her head eyes and shook her head in annoyance, "hey" he began nudging her with his elbow, "maybe you could ask him to go on your morning run with you." His laughter following her into the house.

Liam teased Mac a lot that day about their neighbor, even going so far as to offer to hook her up. Mac told him at one point that if she decided she wanted it done, she didn't need him to do it for her. But truthfully she didn't want a man in her life no matter how nice his smile was, she wasn't ready for it yet. She and Neal had only split up eight months ago and what he'd put her through had messed her up. Their two year relationship had been great for the first year and a half then he'd turned violent. As for their neighbor she would just admire his smile from a safe distance.

That afternoon Toll stopped by the gas station about a mile from his house, he needed to fill up before he headed to Tools, he got off his bike and started across the parking lot and saw the man from this morning walking out the door. He looked pissed off to Toll. They nodded to each other in acknowledgement, neither saying a word. Toll couldn't help but notice the wedding ring on the guys finger...

A WEEK LATER*

Toll decided it was time to leave when a bunch of young men and women came into the bar dressed as what looked like 40's and 50's gangsters, he remembered reading about an upcoming charity event for a children's shelter in town, it was a costume event, famous cops and robbers had been the theme. He watched them take seats at two tables across the room, he turned back around in his seat content to finish his drink then get out of here. The only reason he was in this spot tonight instead of the Old Point was to steer clear of Amber. The others he knew were at their regular place but he'd wanted a break from the girls pestering, he wanted to tell her to cool it, he wasn't interested but he didn't want to hurt her feelings and Hale didn't help things always teasing, never letting it go.

He had just finished his last bit of whiskey in his glass when someone leaned against the bar beside him backwards resting on their elbows, he looked over to see a pair of sparkling emerald green eyes looking at him from under the brim of Frank Sinatra style hat, set at a rakish angle, her dark hair in an off center bun at the base of her head, full blood red lips titled up on one side. Momentarily shocked it took him a moment to realize who it was standing beside him, a smile spread across his lips as he took her in, confused. "Hi" she said tilting her head to the side. She was much more than pretty up close, she had high cheekbones, her nose slightly turned up on the end, she had full sultry lips, but by far her best feature were her eyes, almond shaped and presently twinkling, giving the observer the impression she knew something he didn't. "Hi," he said finally finding his voice; she turned setting down on the stool beside him. He took in her pinstriped suit jacket cut to hug her curves and her matching pants; god she was a looker. "I saw you setting here and it dawned on me, we've shared the occasional smile and wave but I don't even know your name." Toll had to remind himself no matter how sexy he found her she was a married women. He cleared his throat and thought for a moment, "Toll." He answered. Her smile broadened, turning on her stool to face him, she stuck her hand out and said, "I am Mac." Tool took her outstretched hand in his and shook it, goose bumps rising up on his skin at her touch. What was a married women doing look at him that way, her gaze almost inviting. Ya those eyes were dangerous. He pulled his hand back and said suddenly needing to remind himself she had a husband, "I see you and your husband running frequently." Mac laughed the sound almost musical, "I'm not married."

"Boyfriend then?" he asked his smile slipping slightly. Her smile grew brighter if it was possible and said, "brother." Laughing slightly, "but people make that mistake a lot. We look absolutely nothing alike and we spend a lot of time together, so people who don't know us assume." That news made him happy indeed for reasons he didn't understand, so he asked "who are you supposed to be?" Before he could make a complete ass of himself. She gave him thoroughly charming look, "Clyde." She announced, then turned and pointed at a pretty blond dressed in a red dress and said, "that's my Bonnie." Then explaining she said, "neither one of us had a date."

The bartender appeared in front of them and asked if they wanted a drink, drawing her attention from him, she gave the bartender a smile and said, "umm, let me see, how about a Sam Adams draft." The bartender nodded and smiled then turned his attention to Toll. He'd been planning on leaving but one more drink wouldn't hurt anything, "whiskey." He said. She turned back in his direction, she smiled at him again and suddenly he realized he had no idea what to say to her. She studied him a moment her eyes coming to rest of his ear, then drifting back down and pausing on his mouth. Her attention to his ear making him feel more self-conscious, he always worried about what people thought of his deformity, this time was different though he didn't want her to find it grotesque. When her eyes came back to his she had an inquisitive look on her face, expecting her to ask about his ear, she surprised him when she asked "so what do you do?" She caught him off guard, off all thing she could have asked that wasn't what he'd been expecting but his preprogrammed answer came out easily, "I'm in the import business." He could tell she was curious but quickly asked her "so how do you like the house?" She smiled successfully redirected, "it's amazing" Tolls phone buzzed, he reached in his pocket and pulled it out, it was a text from Hale

Where the hell are you? Hale

Having a drink.. he replied then glanced up at her, she was studying him intently. Her eyes fixed on his, holding her gaze he found himself tongue-tied again, he had no idea what to say to her. A slight smile crept onto her pretty face, he got the feeling she knew he didn't know what to say, her secretive little smile broadened slightly, for some reason putting him at ease, he said, "I bet it is, I've always thought it was a beautiful place." His phone went off again.

Again where the hell are you? Hale

Talking to a beautiful women.. he replied when he glanced up this time she wasn't looking at him, his phone went off again.

Ya right, put the book down and come hangout.. Hale

Toll shook his head tell the man the truth and he wouldn't believe ya.

Mac watched him suddenly curious who he was texting that made a faint smile appear on his lips. Before she knew it she blurted out, "girlfriend?" Instantly embarrassed her cheeks flamed red.

"Girlfriend?" The question surprised him, his gaze snapping back to her. He observed her embarrassed expression, and said, "no, don't have one of those." "Me either," she nervously blurted out embarrassing herself even more. He laughed, her facial expression comical. His phone went off again, the text reading seriously man we are all here waiting on you, so put away your blow up doll or put down your book, Barney needs to talk to us all.. Hale

He replied, She's actually not a blow up doll and I'm on my way.

His attention came back to her, "hey I got to go." She nodded and said, "oh, okay." He finished his drink, and stood up looking down at her where she set, "it was nice to get the name that goes with that smile." She smiled and looked away a moment her cheeks turning slightly pink, "thanks, and you too." He held her gaze a moment, her eyes were mesmerizing, damn he thought, then said, "see ya around?" It came out more like a question than a statement, "Ya, You too." She answered, he paused long enough to hand the bartender money for their drinks and walked off, she watched him till he had excited the bar.

He looked good in those tan cargo pants and blue and yellow button down shirt, she decided very good. Tess, the Bonnie to her Clyde appeared at her side, "who was that?" Tess asked her voice appreciative, "one of my new neighbors." Tess said, "he's rather manly, in the manliest sense of the word." Mac chuckled and said, "ya I noticed."

"So what's his name?" Tess asked.

"Toll, I guess."

"That's gotta be a nickname."

"Ya for sure and he's off limits." Mac said surprising Tess and herself, Tess looked at her speculatively, "don't give me that look I just want to get to know him and if you get involved you'll break his heart and then I won't get the friend."

"Friend, hunh?" Tess questioned, not believing that was the reason Mac protested. She asked Mac, " what color eyes does Mr. Beefcake have?" Mac just looked at Tess, "oh crap." Tess began, then continued, "they are green, aren't they?" Mac smiled she had a thing for green-eyed men, she didn't know why she just did, maybe it was because green eyes were rare or because she had green eyes.

Toll walked into The Old Point with a smile on his face, much to the shock and surprise of his friends. He didn't delude himself into thinking he could stand any chance with her, but at the very least he had a potential friend. He took a seat beside Hale, who looked at him and asked, "what are you smiling for?"

"I already told you." Was the only reply he made, he stayed in a good mood that night, Amber's advances didn't even really bother him. They had a job they needed to leave for tomorrow night, so they all headed home by eleven. He fell asleep thinking about Mac.

Mac awoke the next morning embarrassed; Liam's pestering her about Toll, had got her curious. She did find him incredibly attractive. Being that close to him had been slightly disconcerting at first, he was overwhelmingly male, his body all hard muscle and a lot of it, it made her feel giddy and her mouth water ever so slightly. He oozed raw power and sexuality. A man like him could be profoundly dangerous, danger could be an extremely powerful element. She didn't want a relationship and sex wasn't an option.

The only time in her entire life she had one timer it had been with a man who oozed sexuality and danger. The difference was he'd used his extreme good looks and silver tongue, pursuing her till she broke. She'd known all he wanted was sex but still it had left her feeling used and dirty. So now she stayed away from every man who could put her in that place.

She thought about not running this morning wanting to hide, her embarrassment almost winning out but she who was not afraid of anything could handle an awkward moment if she had too.

Toll thought about going for a run just so he could run into her again but couldn't see the point. She'd been friendly last night and slightly flirtatious but his gut said it was just her. Besides he didn't have time for a run this morning he had shit to do.


	4. Chapter 3

The next morning when Mac went for her run, she didn't see him, still no him the next day by the end of day three, after she'd not even caught a glimpse of him, she concluded he wasn't around. A rather brilliant conclusion at that. Liam was running with her in the mornings and noted to his great amusement that his sister was defiantly watching for the neighbor.

Mac lay in bed almost asleep, absentmindedly running her fingers up and down Goose's spine. Her mind focused on Toll, her thoughts jumping from one mystery about him to the other. Currently speculating on his name, Toll it was a strange name, she knew it was a nickname and she really wanted to know where it came from. Tess was right he was most defiantly manly, he had the look of a man who had seen and done things, it all added to his dangerous appeal. She wondered what had happened to his ear, to her knowledge you only received that kind of wound from a certain kind of trauma to the ear, most commonly seen with wrestlers. Beyond the brooding sexuality he possessed, that he seemed to keep contained, there was something more, something she had glimpsed in those amazing eyes of his and if she'd be honest with herself, which was always easier when one was in bed, and their was darkness to cloak their secrets, that look put her in way more danger than anything physical. He searched for something. Something lost or something he'd never found, she could identify with searching for something you'd never found. As much as she felt she'd finally arrived her dreams were coming true, there had always been something just out of reach.

There was just something about him, his hesitant mannerisms, he didn't exude confidence, anything but. He brought to mind the saying, still waters run deep. The way he looked at her and with those eyes... She set up frustrated "ah" she shouted, banging her fists on the mattress. She flopped back down on the bed. What the hell was wrong with her, twenty-eight year olds and fantasizing about some man who's real name she didn't even know, like she was the heroin in some badly written romance novel. Besides the man she wanted didn't exist, a cross between Cary Grant and Paul Newman, all Cary Grants swagger and charm and Paul Newman's looks add some green eyes and you had the perfect man. Liam opened the door, and asked, "are you alright?" She basically growled at him and said, "I'm fine, just having a moment." "Alright," Ian said and closed the door stumbling off to bed shaking his head used to his sisters _moments_ as she put it. He bet he knew what this moment was about.

Goose who had moved himself a safe distance away, started inching back toward her, she flopped onto her side and scowled at him, then said "come on." He snuggled up beside her and promptly fell asleep.

The next day she became completely caught up with planning and preparations for the Caffery anniversary party. It was in three weeks, she had to meet with the party planner, and Mrs Caffery. Then she had to meet with the florist, Mrs. Caffery had decided she wanted the flowers on the cake the same shade as the orchids on the tables the exact shade... By the end of the day Mac was to annoyed with her client to spare a thought about Toll.

Toll had found that a certain little green eyed neighbor seemed to keep popping up in his thoughts and now that he was on his way home it was worse. It had been five days since he'd left and he had probably thought about her at least twenty times a day. Try as he might he couldn't shake her, he didn't understand it. He didn't even know her, he had a name, and he knew where she lived and that was it. The problem was this women, he didn't even know made him think but worse still she made him dream, and what could come of that? Nothing that's what, she was young and vibrant almost terrifyingly so and he was what? Acting like a teenage boy with a crush on the popular girl who would never be more than a wish. Even knowing all of this, the closer they got to home, the more excited he got about the prospect of seeing those eyes, and that beguiling smile. Yes indeed, he was anxious and nervous, at the same time dreading it and eagerly anticipating it. Even though he knew it wouldn't lead him anywhere.

That afternoon she received a visitor, her friend Jake who'd moved to California a few years back showed up at her door, a dozen Mona Lisa Lillie's in his hand and a smile on his lips. When she opened the door he grabbed her swinging her around in the front porch. He had a plan, they were leaving tomorrow to go bow fishing.

Tolls fixation didn't improve after he got home, he had spent half the night berating himself. The first thing he did was check out her place, to see if her lights were on. Then agonized over when he'd see her again, try as he may no matter how many times he told himself, she would never be interested in him, he couldn't be this taken with her already, nothing changed the fact that after a few smiles, and about three sentences she was in his head. After hours of heavy self analyzation, he told himself it wasn't her, it was what she represented that was in his head, the dream, a fantasy of a normal mans life.

The following morning he saw her, she was carrying a large case down her front steps, it looked like a gun case. He had just finished his run making the loop he always took. He hadn't quiet made the end of their street yet. He watched her place the case on the ground at the back of the big black truck he'd seen her brother driving. She looked good he noted the closer he got, he'd never really seen her in everyday cloths, she had on tight faded jeans rolled up around about mid calf, sandals and a black tank-top. Her hair was hanging loose down her back, the dark brown color laced with red highlights. She hadn't seen him yet, she walked around the truck, when she came back into view she had on an off white straw cowboy hat the kind that the sides are all rolled up. He smiled faintly she didn't strike him as the cowboy hat type.

When he got closer he thought about walking over and starting a conversation, quickly changing his mind. He put his head down and kept on walking, he'd almost made it by when he heard, "hey!" He looked over, she was standing there hands on her hips giving him an annoyed look, which the smile tugging at her lips belied. Her look turned expectant when he didn't answer right away, then filled mischief and laughter. "Are you try to pretend you didn't see a struggling women?" She asked walking toward him, his feet, all of their own accord started moving him toward her. Slightly embarrassed at being caught doing almost exactly what she said, his face reddened ever so slightly. Which of course she noticed, and said as her bright eyes travelled over his face, "you were! So much for chivalry." She came to a stop I front of him, by the end of the truck, looking up at him she didn't know what to say for a moment, he was so tall. Actually he was just a large man in general, and at that moment he was looking down at her as if he didn't know what to do with her but there was something else in his gaze something that nearly had her squirming. Never tongue-tied, Mac smiled and drug her eyes from his, she said "I don't know if I should feel offended." Her voice sounding playful. He said, "don't be offended." Suddenly worried she was serious, she looked back at him, the smile she gave him from under that hat putting him at ease. "So what do you need help with?" he asked. "I was just playing." She said, her voice filled with laughter. God those eyes, he had to do something quick so he said, "well I am here, so I might as well help, far be it for me to ignore a damsel in distress." The smile she gave him, full of open amusement. "She stepped back and said, "why thank you kind sir, but I'm not sure if it chivalrous when said maiden has to ask." She was walking toward her bags, and for a half a second he just watched slightly embarrassed and thoroughly charmed yet again.

He helped her load her stuff and drive off, he shook his head no longer just charmed, now enchanted was a better word. Of all the thing she could be doing, heading off bow fishing wasn't what he'd have expected.

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**So dear readers, for the second half of this chapter I have to beg a favor, I ask that you stop reading now and go to youtube. And listen to Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon- times a wasting. This part of the chapter has been very difficult to write and I'm afraid I have in no way nailed it but I need it for the story over all so I decided to brave it.**

**So when you read the part about the song think Joaquin Phoenix voice and Johnny Cash's on stage charisma and chemistry. He and June were amazing, he gravitated around her dancing, looking, adoring. That's what I was going for.**

**if it's horrible I apologize in advance and promise to get back on track.**

* * *

Jake looked down at Mac as they entered the bar, she looked hesitant and not at all comfortable. The old Point was defiantly not her choice of hangout. But he'd suggested they go get a beer on their way back in town, so here she stood sunburned covered in mosquito bites and smelling like the river. Wearing short cut off jean shorts, brown cowboy boots, a grey tank top, black hoodie and that cowboy hat which she was presently trying to hide under. He chuckled, his little Mac had certainly changed from the wild and crazy girl of years ago. He almost felt bad for her but not bad enough to leave, the singer in the band playing here tonight was an old friend he wanted to see before he left town.

They found a table and settled in the watch the band, Liam arrived not long after they showed up. The band took a break and Jake wandered off to talk to his friend. Mac got asked for a dance which she turned down. She had no desire to dance with dirty minded old bikers or smug young men. She knew she looked like a bar fluesy dressed this way but that didn't mean she'd act like one.

She looked up when she heard Jake's voice come over the mic after the last song stopped, "well guys I have to tell you a story, the story of a night years ago when I fell in love with this amazing little women." Mac shook her head and scowled he'd better not be doing what she thought he was doing, he held her gaze across the bar mischief filled blue to murderous green. "And when I told her how I felt, she took my heart and stomped on it, actually she grinned it." Their was a laugh from somewhere in the room, "she literally laughed in my face and yet I'm the man she calls when she needs something, so I don't think Mr. johnny Cash would mind if I stole one of his songs as a way to tell you good gentlemen all about it." Mac held his gaze, as a murmur of approval went up in the crowd. "Ya, you know who you are," he said as he began, he played cry, cry, cry. The whole time maintaining eye contact, thoroughly pleased with himself. The entire bar was in no doubt of who he was singing to. When he got done signing and the music stopped he said holding her gaze. "now I was just thinking its only fair if you guys could see exactly why I fell in love with this women." Mac shook her head checks flaming and mouthed, don't. you. dare. Jake's eyes just danced some more, they had the overall approval of the room, judging by the noise. "Let me tell you it all started over a microphone, oh maybe four years ago. Her eyes sparkled and I was lost, I've never been the same since." Mac couldn't help it she giggled and smiled. "So, what do you say June?" Mac rolled her eyes and admitted defeat, she got up and headed for the stage, a loud sound of applause going up.

She stepped onto the stage face bright red, Jake handed her a guitar, the look on his face filled with smug satisfaction. They started playing in unison moving closer to the mic, Jake facing her walking backwards across the stage staring down on her, obviously amused.

The opening strains of times a wasting started, Toll watched in a bit of shock, she was strumming along on that guitar almost messing up the first couple notes, she soon got it, she moved in closer as the guy she was singing with leaned into the mic and sang the opening line "I got arms"

Then she leaned closer for her turn "and I got arms"  
Together they sang "let's get together and use those arms, lets go times a wasting"

She leaned back slightly as he sang "I got lips" then she swayed closer, and sang  
"And I got lips, let's gets together and use those lips, let's go times wasting." Her voice hit a higher note as she sang, "Well a cakes no good if you don't mix the batter and bake it."

He leaned close again, "and loves just a bubble if you don't take the trouble to make it," then together, "so if your free to go with me I'll take it quicker the lets go time a wasting."

He watched them on the stage their chemistry obvious, he danced around her strumming away on the guitar, he caught a glimpse of her face she was glowing, that secretive smile on her face. At the second guitar rift, her gaze strayed around the room as she strummed away her shoulders moving in time to the beat, she passed by him, then her gaze shot back her smile broadening she winked at him, then her companion stole her attention back, moving in close too her before the words started again. They were an amazing pair to watch, dancing around each other, sway to the music the entire time singing a song. She sang with a strong twang that she didn't talk with, the entire bar full of drunks and misfits were clapping in time to the beat and cat calling.

She smiled brightly up the guy when he leaned down further then necessary his lips almost on the mic and sang "loves just a bubble if you don't take the time to make it," she joined in," so if your free to go with me I'll take it quicker than a 1,2, 3," Winking up at him, a smile on her face, "let's go times a wastin', let's go times a wastin." when they finished a general roar went up in the crowd, even his own table. Lee wolf whistled. Lacy clapped, loudest, but all he could really do was stare, her gaze shifted to him, she gave him a smile and might have headed in his direction but the man she'd been singing with took her guitar and picked her up with one arm swinging her around. She laughed and lost her cowboy hat on the ground. The man didn't put her down just handed the guitar off to someone else and bent down to pick up her hat and placed it on her head, his arm around her waist the entire time. They stood talking to the band and then the music started back up, this time from the jukebox, the man pulled her onto the dance floor and spun around to sharp dressed man. they were as good on the dance floor as they were singing, he had decided she was a little to bright a star for him.

It took her a longtime to finally get a chance to look for him again, she was slightly embarrassed she hadn't been, spun around a floor this much since she been in her early twenties. But Jake had to have his way, and he was just charming enough she couldn't tell him no. Thankfully someone had asked him to sing cocaine blues, and he could sound remarkably like the man in black if he wanted. She looked around the bar she didn't see Toll at the table with his companions, so she wandered to the bar to get a water, after she got it, she turned down a couple of dance offers. Jake was busy dancing to drunk on you with some little red head, she noted her serving beer earlier. She set down at an empty table and watched Jake, after a bit her gaze scanned the room. Toll was back at his table and he was watching so were a couple of his companions, a rather large black guy, and an even more enormous blond. She looked at Toll, smiled and tipped her hat.

Toll had watched her since she set down, she leaned forward on her elbows and watched the dance floor, her gaze eventually travelled in his direction, she gave him that infectious little smile and tipped her hat. Caesar instantly said, "I knew she was checking me out," he went to stand, saying,"watch this boys I will show you how a man does it." Toll stood before him, and said, "I got this." With that he walked off. Caesar said his voice indignant, "what the hell." Barney watched the girl watch Toll, her pretty smile growing even brighter, her eyes never leaving him and said, "I think she got the one she wanted."

Toll felt the pull of those eyes across the room, it only intensified as he got closer, that smile working its magic. He took a seat across from her, she smiled and as always it was breathtaking, neither said anything for a moment. Then she asked, "how long have you been here?" Looking slightly embarrassed, even in the dim light he could see her cheeks color. He smiled and chuckled folding his thick arms over his chest, he leaned back and said, "long enough." She smiled in return and said, "the reason in coming to a hole in the wall like this is not seeing anyone you know." Her eyes twinkled, and her eyebrow twitched, "that way there's no evidence." She finished on a laugh. He shook his head, "well that hat is some form of disguise I guess but what about your friend, isn't he evidence?" She laughed out right, the sound full of mirth, not at all feminine, it was an infectious sound, "oh no," she began shaking her head and laughing, "I have so much on him he knows to keep his mouth shut." He watched her, he'd never seen anyone quit like her. When she stopped laughing her eyes were watering. He assumed it was an inside joke but he laughed anyway, her laugh having that effect on him. When she got ahold of herself she said, "believe me, he was my partner in crime long enough that he knows better."  
"Really?" He asked his voice full of curiosity. She shook her head and said, "nope, I'm not telling you anything." Leaning back in her seat, she mimicked his pose and arched her eyebrow. Again he chuckled, she looked so cute. Her eyes sparkling with a naughty light, as if saying neaner neaner neaner. "How was the bow fishing?" He asked, he studied her face watching her feature, she was so animated. "It was great." Looking down she said, "there's something about shooting a fish that's super fun," her eyes came back to him, "well that could be a lot to do with the alcohol." He shook his head slightly and leaned forward, "you're a strange little thing." He said his voice full of good humor. "No, I'm not." She said giving him a dirty look, and trying to sound offended but failing.

She glanced at the table he'd come from and leaned her elbows on the table again. Her eyes coming back to him, she looked at him from in under the brim of her hat, she said, "we're being watched." Toll glanced in their direction then back at her, her beautiful eyes catching him, gone was the mirth of a moment ago. He held her gaze, seeing how a man could lose all control because of a women, he didn't even know her really and he felt it. That smile crept onto her face and the spell broke, she asked leaning back again, "what do you think their thinking?" It took a moment to say anything he was certain he didn't want to know, "you probably don't want to know, I for one don't."

They spent probably an hour talking, he told her his real name the one his mother had given him, Garret Roads he explained he'd picked up Toll in college when he wrestled and it had stuck with him. She asked him to tell her about himself except for the obvious, when he asked what the obvious was she said "you know, like you have green eyes," she looked away then slowly back again and continued, "a really nice smile," her cheeks a little red again, "that your physically fit, oh and that you live near by." He watched her, his smile vanishing his eyes taking on that odd light she'd seen before. Be careful his brain said, don't lose yourself. His gaze dropped to her full slightly parted lips, then travelled back to her eyes. He took a deep breath to help him gain control of himself. He was in trouble if her just commenting on his smile had this kind of effect.

He regained his composure and gave her what she wanted, at least as much as he could. Being careful around the areas of grey, like work. At first he'd been uneasy and slightly withdrawn, but that smile won out, she'd put him at ease again.

He'd never thought about telling anyone so much he found he liked it, her beautiful eyes always on him, studying his features. Her smile weaving its spell, her laugh making him laugh. When she finally said she had to go, he stood with her almost wishing she'd stay. He didn't offer to introduce her to the guys, it would have been the polite thing to do but this was his moment, this hour had giving him a glimpse of what normal was like and he wanted to keep it that way. She looked up at him as she pulled on her hoodie, Jake gave it to her when he and Liam left awhile back. She looked up at him, her eyes traveling over his face, she said,"can I ask you something?"  
"What's one more." He said waiting.  
"It's a little personal." She said giving him a skeptical look, and biting her bottom lip. He watched her teeth sink into her full lip, he said his voice slightly gruff, "you can but if I do t want to answer I won't."  
"Your ear?" Well he hadn't been expecting that, he'd actually forgot about it while talking to her. She waited expectantly watching him, "wrestling." He suddenly needed to know, "does it bother you?" He asked his gaze holding hers, she gave him a surprised look at his question and said, "no,not at all I was just curious." A smile tugging at his lips, he watched her, and he felt relief. He didn't know how much what she thought was going to matter until this moment. Wanting to break the strange mood he was in, she leaned a little closer and glanced at his friends, then asked looking back at him her eyes mischievous, "should I wave by to the audience or take bow perchance." He shook his head laughing, he said "go ahead." Her smile became full on naughty. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight, after a moment she whispered "this show only works if you hug me back." He slid his arms around her, then she peaked out around his shoulder and waved at them. "Sorry, if that was too much." She apologized as she backed up, afraid she might have crossed a line. He took a deep breath and held her gaze, "don't worry about it." Mac knew instantly no matter what he said she'd crossed a line. As she walked off she felt acutely embarrassed, she didn't normally behave like that.

Toll made his way back to his seat, he knew what was coming. But he didn't care, he set down smile on his face. Hale just stared at him, then asked "are you leading a double life?" Toll ignored him, let him think whatever he wanted. He got a fair amount of ribbing about her from everyone except Billy and Lacy, Barney himself joined in once. And by the end of the night his high was gone, Hale had said about the only thing that could kill his good mood, "what the hell, would a girl like that want with weirdo like you." He knew Hale hadn't meant anything by it just having fun but still it held truth. She showered the same attention on her friend Jake as him, it would be best to distance himself from her, he'd already had that thought but one smile and it had all been forgotten.


	5. Chapter 4

**Well you only need the light when it's burning low**

**Only miss the sun when it starts to snow**

** Passenger**

* * *

Toll was feeling disgusted with himself for allowing a pretty little face to turn his head, really, to get in his head. She hadn't done anything beside being a flirt, he was the one that looked a fool. He'd seen for himself she liked to flirt, she had done it on the stage with her friend Jake, her gaze fixed on him like she couldn't look anywhere else. Then she'd done the same with him, and he'd certainly made a fool of himself, allowing himself to get drawn in.

Hale's words echoing in his ears, "what in the hell, does a girl like that want with a weirdo like you?"

He'd never ever been the guy to attract the beautiful ones and whatever let him believe that she had picked him out of all those men in the bar last night, was beyond him. She smiled at him simply because her friend was other wise occupied, she hadn't made any attempt to draw him out before she'd been left alone. He'd been a familiar face and like an idiot he'd gone running. One glimpse of that smile directed at him and he'd marched right over.

Mac had managed to embarrass herself enough last night she didn't run in the morning. She was in no way ready to see him, apparently all her bravado had fled, she was afraid of her own embarrassment. She walked Goose down to the river, she knew she was safe here, she owned the four acres between her house and the water. Why on earth had she hugged him, oh who was she kidding she knew why, he was compelling and after nearly an hour of listening to him talk about himself, which instinct told her wasn't something he did often, you could tell he was a private man by nature. She'd wanted to touch him, so she had. She should have pulled back, when he didn't return it quickly, actually she shouldn't have done it at all. It wasn't like her, she never hugged or touched people she didn't have history with, a hand shake was one thing, but throwing yourself into the arms of a man you didn't know was stupid. She did have to admit the feel of his broad chest had been as impressive as she'd figured it would be, all hard muscle, and he'd smelt good like fabric softener with a hint of gun cleaning oil, and black powder. Gun cleaning oil and black powder she had loved those smells since childhood, her father being an avid hunter had meant she'd grown up with them. It reminded her of a happier time in her childhood, before her father had decided she hadn't turned out like he wanted.

Toll had made up his mind, it was best if he avoid her for now, it was the best idea. She wasn't for him she was only being her and he was to susceptible, for some reason. He wasn't going to fall for a girl who couldn't be more than twenty-four, it could only end badly. When she'd thrown her arms around him he'd felt utter shock, his body growing tense, and instead of returning the hug he'd stood there, like a fish out of water until she told him this only worked if he hugged her back. For just a second he'd forgotten the reason for her touch was to give the guys a show, then she reminded him, but still the feel of her much littler body pressed against him had been nice, it hadn't mattered why she did it, just that she was there pressed against him, her slender arms wrapped around his chest. Her head not quiet reaching his shoulder, her body had felt soft and warm and unsettling.

So he settled back into life, avoiding her, he ran on his treadmill, even though he'd way rather be outside running and slowly fell back into the life he'd had before he'd seen those emerald eyes and that pretty little smile. Eventually the guys quit giving him shit about her. Amber carried on as before distracting them from the mystery women whose name he wouldn't tell. It was amazing how easily you could avoid someone you live only two houses away from. Before he knew it, he hadn't seen her in a month.

Mac realized very quickly that she wasn't the only one doing the avoiding, this only made her belief she'd crossed a line more concrete. She'd be lying if she said it didn't bother her, and since Liam and Beth had worked things out and he'd moved home, well it bothered her worse. The very worst part is somehow this had shaken her deeply ingrained confidence, now wasn't to sure of herself.

His birthday came and went leaving him depressed. That nagging feeling of want for more was still there making him feel desperate, he wanted to see her, even just a glimpse of her. But it didn't happen the closest he got was a few days ago he'd seen that little black STI of hers pulling out of the yard, but he hadn't been close enough to see her. He found the more his life went back to the way it had been the less he wanted to settle in.

He need something to change, but he didn't know how to do it. He'd never in his life been the one to go in search of change, the changes had come to him. Like college he'd been recruited by the athletic department, then the military, his uncles friend was a recruiter so he'd come to him. Then he'd been approached for his first merc. job and then fate had thrown Barney in his path. So now at fifty he had no idea how to go about changing.

Mac and Tess set on the porch swing on Macs porch, it was late afternoon, the fan on the porch ceiling whirring away. The air was sweltering, making macs short gray shorts and loose white tank cling to her. Tess said for the tenth time, "oh, just come out with me." Not liking how different Mac was acting lately. Mac laughed a little. "No, I don't want to go out."  
"Come on, it will do you good." Tess said, her voice full of reassurance. "I'm just not into it tonight." Mac said looking at her pretty friend. Tess's blues eyes taking on that doe eyed look she got meaning she probably start batting her eye lashes soon. Tess gave her a pleading look, " you never want to do anything anymore." Mac reached down and grabbed her water bottle from the stand by the swing, explaining as she opened it "work is keeping me busy." Tess rolled her eyes annoyed, "ya,ya, ya, I know since the Caffery party you've picked up a bunch of business." She said, after studying Mac a moment longer she continued, "look I don't know what is going on with you but since you and Jake went bow fishing you've been strange." Mac didn't say anything just took a drink of her water, when she didn't say a word Tess said, "I'm not a psychic or anything but something's happened. A something you aren't talking about and I know you and Jake well enough to know it's not you guys, that leaves me a lot of room to speculate." Mac was getting irritated even though she knew Tess was just concerned, she said "look I'm fine, there's nothing to talk about." She paused as she saw Tolls big black 4 door dodge pull onto the end of the road, she looked away not wanting him to see her staring. Even though the chances were slim he could see them behind the magnolias growing along the porch. Then she surprised Tess by saying, "oh, what in the hell, let's go." Tess was to excited that Mac had said yes to question anything. Maybe a night out would get rid of some of this cloud that was surrounding her. Tess exclaimed, "hurray! Let's go!"

Surprisingly it did do Mac good, she felt better afterward.

This mission had been particularly grueling, Toll didn't have to look in a mirror he knew his face would still be covered in bruises. He worked his jaw slightly, noting it wasn't as sore as it had been yesterday. He stood in the shower with his head down, letting the water from the shower head sooth his stiff muscles. He was getting marginally sick of getting the crap kicked out of him, all to rescue these stupid assholes that probably didn't deserve it. He turned letting the water spray on his face and down his chest, then grabbed the soap from the shelf he stepped back out of the spray, rubbing the soap between his hands he scrubbed his chest. Which was also covered in bruises, damn, it was usually Gunnar that got the worst beatings he mused. This time it had been his turn, the guy hadn't been big about Yang's size and he'd looked unassuming, well right up until Toll engaged him anyway. Toll had come out victorious, but his body sure didn't think so, it didn't look so either. He got out of the shower and dried off, wrapping the towel around his heavily muscled waist. He walked to the sink, looking in the mirror. He stared at his reflection turning his face this way and that, he hadn't shaved since before he left and for a moment he thought about leaving the four days worth of heavy growth. He'd been too tired to deal with it last night, he got out his razor and shaving cream. While he was shaving he got a text from Hale apparently he and Yang were on their way over. Before the day was half over they were all at his house.

Mac was having an incredibly bad day, her car had broken down again. In the two years she'd had it, it had gone to the shop seven times. The whole reason for buying a Subaru was so she'd have a good car, but no she'd ended up with the only STI on the entire lot that was a lemon. Liam had teased her when he'd brought her his truck, "well you bought the WRX STI what do you expect, if you'd bought the family sedan you'd be fine." She just gave him a dirty look. So now she found herself pulling onto her street in Liam's truck, intent of searching lemon laws to find out what her options were. The only good thing about this whole day was that tomorrow her little sister would be here! She couldn't wait to see Lex, she hadn't seen her since Christmas of last year. That was the hardest thing about living in New Orleans, her sister and parents were in Boston so she didn't see them much.

Mac pulled in and shut the truck off, she got out and went inside. Leaving the door open, she kicked off her ankle boots and walked into the kitchen grabbing a drink. She set down with her iPad at the island searching lemon laws. She set there for around twenty minutes getting more and more frustrated, she set down her iPad and looked down a Goose. He was content to just set there and wait for her to pay attention, his tail started thumping on the ground, Mac smiled and asked "hey pretty boy,you wanna go get the mail?" He jumped up and whinned, she asked, "ya, you do? Well come on then." They walked to the mailbox Goose doing his funny little dance around her, his tail wagging.

Caesar was standing on the front lawn at Tolls talking to Gunnar and Yang, everyone else was out back. When he looked up and saw her, doing a double take, even from this distance he knew it was the same women from the bar. She was walking to her mailbox a little black lab dancing around her feet. He said, "looky, looky." Yang glanced down the street as did Gunnar neither of them recognizing her. Hale said, "I'll be back" and started walking off.

Mac looked up to see a rather large man walking toward her, a smile on his broad lips, the look in his eyes conveying the fact he thought he was getting away with something, he was intently watching her. His large muscled torso wrapped in a tank top, and he was large, his shoulder muscle bulging out around his neck. If Mac hadn't recognized him as one of the men from the bar she might be intimidated, When he got closer he gave her a friendly smile, his mannerisms engaging. He said, "I am Hale, and you are?" She smiled wider," Mac."

"Pleased to finally meet you."

Toll bristled the moment Yang and Gunnar walked out back and Yang told him, " Hale's down the street hitting on your neighbor."

He waited a half hour and when Hale wasn't back he went looking for him. They weren't on the sidewalk so he walked down the road. Her front door was open he could hear the murmur of them talking and Hale's laughter. So he walked up the yard and knocked on the door frame. They were in the back of the house, he heard her laugh and saw Hale's head pop out the door, "oh its you." He said teasingly, then continued "it's your neighbor."

Toll stepped inside when after a moment Mac said, "come in."

Hale gave him a cocky smile and asked, "what do you want?"

Toll answered walking toward Hale, "looking for you." He was suddenly hesitant, why the fuck had he come here. She stepped around Caesar and into the hall, Caesar stepped completely out of the room holding a dish with brownies in it, munching away.

When Mac first saw him she nearly gasped in surprise, the right side of his face had several bruises on it, and his nose had a scrape across the bridge of it. There was another cut by his eye, he'd obviously been in fight or some sort of altercation. She'd wanted to ask but didn't, she stared at him a slight smile tugging the corner of her lips, her eyes almost twinkling but not quite. Her cheeks pinked slightly and she looked away. Suddenly uncertain, his gaze was flat, like he was gazing at a stranger. Mac so wanted to see that smile, she had wanted to see it for weeks. When he didn't give even a hint of a smile she looked away.

Toll didn't know what to say, hi didn't seem right, especially when she didn't say it. He had vaguely registered she had an almost smile but all he could see were her eyes. Those stunning eyes. His chest tightened and he just continued to stare at her. When her eyes came back to his he felt a smile tug at his lips, she looked almost as uncertain as he felt. A soft happy smile slowly worked its way across her lips, it was she that found her voice and said, "hi."

Hale said "well now that we got that, out of the way, you need to bring all this food to Tolls." His voice good-humored, he leaned close to Mac and whispered, "your food is way better than his little sister."

Hale turned and went back into the kitchen, Mac held Tolls gaze, still not knowing what to say and it making her nervous, she glanced in the kitchen. Hale was looking in the fridge.

Tolls eyes finally left her when she glanced in the kitchen, she looked good her long hair hanging loose, and just a hint of makeup. She had on dark blue skinny jeans and a loose gray shirt, the neck so big it almost hung off one shoulder, and she was barefoot. Something about her at that moment tugging at his insides, she was, just simply was.

Hale gestured for Mac to come into the kitchen, and said, "we need to take all of this." She laughed the hold she had breaking, he let his ridiculously pathetic thoughts go. Chastising himself for a fool but he still followed her into the kitchen.

She stepped into the kitchen and Toll followed, he watched Hale thinking he was being rude." Mac caught the look he was giving Hale and said, "they are leftovers, from a job and I'll never eat it all." She looked over her shoulder at him, then back at Hale. Toll was suddenly curious about what sort of job she did that allowed her to bring food like this home. Once again hit with the absurdity his situation, he didn't even know where she worked.

He looked anywhere and everywhere but at her, those soulful green eyes had already got him ounce it wouldn't happen again. Hale asked, "so why didn't you tell me she was caterer, now I understand why you have kept her to yourself." Toll looked at him surprised and answered, "I didn't know she was a caterer." Hale noting the weird tension between the two said, "well now that I know I am coming over more often." She smiled, she liked him he was amusing she decided, "I let you know the next time I have leftovers," she said. Toll watched them having nothing to say, as usual he didn't know what to say.

Hale loaded his arms up with containers, and said, "I'm going, and your coming, right?" She smiled at him, he was giving her an expectant look. Her gaze travelled to Toll she had no idea what to say, she gave him a questioning look, when he didn't say anything she said, her gaze returning to Caesar, "no,not this time." Hale shook his head his demeanor comical, "fine, but only cause you gave me food." She laughed slightly, and said, "how magnanimous of you." Hale squinted at her, "what in the hell, did you just call me?" She really laughed this time, so hard her eyes watered, they all laughed.

Hale left declaring he was going to go eat all this food in front of the guys. Toll waited, she looked at him, a smile on her face, and chuckled some more. "He's funny," she said. Toll made an amused noise, and nodded his head, "he's something alright." Mac smiled wider, there was the smile she liked best, the first one he'd ever given her had been like this one. Toll surprised her and himself when he said, "you could come over." His facial expression had grown serious, she studied his face, her eyes taking in his battered face again, she felt the urge to ask him what had happened but instead she asked, "are you just being polite or do you mean it?" He held her gaze wanting to say, I've missed talking to you, but instead he said, "if you want to, I'd be okay with it," not wanting to sound overly enthusiastic. She smiled faintly, realizing that noncommittal reply was the best she would get, she held his held his gaze a moment longer, seeing something that made her say yes.


	6. Chapter 5

When Mac followed Toll into his kitchen, the way the group of men reacted, that were standing around eating her leftovers, was enough to confirm the suspicion she had, that asking women to hang out wasn't something he did frequently. Out of the seven men there was only one that didn't look utterly shocked, he was tall, with black hair and brown eyes, he had a dark complexion and large muscular body. The look he gave her made her feel like she he was sizing her up and after a moment she felt certain, she knew that look, weighed and measured, she wasn't sure however if she came up wanting.

Hale drew her attention away from the dark man when he said, "I thought you said, no, not this time." She smiled at him, "I changed my mind." Hale's gaze shifted to Toll were he stood beside her, he gave him a knowing look and said, "good." After that the others introduced themselves, first was a tall impressively muscled man with longer hair that had grey threaded through it. His smile warm and friendly, he approached with his large hand outstretched, "I'm Tool and you are Mac." Obviously Hale had told them all about her, she smiled taking his hand and said, "yes." Next came the dark man with the piercing eyes, he introduced himself as Barney, but in no way tried to put her at ease. His gaze every bit as probing as it had been when she walked in minutes ago.

Toll watched her embarrassed by the sudden silence that filled the room when they walked in. He was never comfortable being the center of attention, she didn't flinch. Not even under Barney's cool regard, she just smiled politely and moved on to the next one which was Gunnar. The look he gave her one of amusement, he'd reached out and took her hand. Gunnar said "I can't believe I didn't recognize you." Mac decided instantly she liked the tall blond, with his crazy blue eyes and friendly smile.

Toll found he felt a bit of admiration for how she handled his group of ragtag friends. Where some might have been intimidate and uncertain of them, she was completely at ease. Even with Gunnar she'd taken him in stride, like you couldn't tell he was completely imbalanced, she didn't flinch, just shook his hand and smiled warmly.

They went around the room each introducing themselves, all met with a friendly eyes and a warm smile. After the introductions were over, Tool said to her, "so I heard I missed a show at the bar a while back." Macs blushed and smiled at him, "ya, you could say that." Pausing to take a drink, Tool then continued, "I hear you can sing?" Her smiled broadening, she said "I don't know about that." Setting down beside Tool at the table. Billy asked from where he sat on the other side of her, "did he really tell you he loved you?" Mac laughed and nodded her head, "yes, but what he forgets to tell people when he tells that story is, he told about five other women he loved them the same night." Billy laughed along with the others, "Jake is one of those guys that flirts with everyone he sees. I have felt bad for a lot of women that took him to seriously." Tool asked amused, "how long have you known him?" Her smile broadened, "eight years, we met right after I moved here, actually the day after I got here. He lived a couple of apartments away from my brother, I was carrying boxes up the stairs and dropped something. He picked it up and walked over took the boxes out of my arms, then told me a girl as beautiful as me should never carry anything, I laughed and that was it." Tool smiled at her wistful expression and asked, "and, you've been friends ever since?"

"Yup, I found my fate sealed."  
"How old were you?" Tool asked curious.  
"Almost twenty-one."  
Tool looked at her slightly surprised, "you don't look your age."

Toll watched her, she was a lot older than he'd thought, the knowledge doing something to him. Making his muscles clench, and his heart rate rise. She wasn't nearly as young as he'd thought. She glanced over her shoulder at him, where he leaned against the fridge, their gazes met and held for a moment. Her eyes shinning, a smile on her lips, his focus shifted to her lips. Then she turned away again back to her conversation with Tool. She laughed at something Tool said, the sound musical.

Tool watched her attention turn to Toll, the others had moved outside a while ago, and he knew he'd kept her sitting here to long. Since Toll went outside, she had frequently looked out the door and when she heard him laugh, her gaze had instantly sought him, her smile turning sweet. This was defiantly interesting he decided, he watched her thoughtfully a moment, then said drawing her attention, "why don't we go see what's so funny."

When they stepped outside Billy stood up offering Mac the seat he occupied by Toll, she smiled and said "thanks." She walked over setting down beside Toll, not looking at him her cheeks faintly red.

Mac looked over a Toll once she'd set down, her bright gaze traveling over his face, pausing on the cut by his eye, then traveling down the right side. He returned her perusal of his features, only his gaze caught on her eyes. Something in them pulling him in she smiled faintly, he smiled in return his gaze holding hers, Mac suddenly felt the need to squirm in her seat. When she finally tore her eyes from him, she wished she knew what he was thinking. The way he had just looked at her totally different from any look before. She shook her head and took a deep breath to steady herself, then covertly glanced at him again, he wasn't looking at her. She took the chance to study his unguarded expression, he was presently looking at Gunnar a smile on his lips. She'd never seen him like this before, well that wasn't exactly true she'd seen in a similar setting once before, surrounded by his friends but she hadn't been this close, she liked this side of him she decided.

Mac listened, entertained by their banter, they were funny and obviously knew each other well. Toll even relaxed some coming out of the shell slightly, joining in on occasion and laughing. Hale was the clown making everyone laugh, but the realization hit her as the evening progressed, that Toll was the brunt of a lot of his fun. Toll had started to become more and more withdrawn, the present topic Hale was giving him shit about was reading all the time. She could tell he really didn't mean anything by it he was just messing around, but the longer it progressed the more Toll retreated. Mac watched him closely, he wouldn't look at her, so when Hale asked "what do you think Mac? Couldn't he find something better to do with his time?" She knew what Hale implied or thought she did, but asked, "your asking my opinion?" Hale nodded. "alright, I think personally only a fool makes fun of a man searching for enlightenment." Holding his gaze, "I for one find it admirable." Only silence answered her reply, then Tool said, "well said." A smile slowly spread across Hale's face,"I think she just told me off!" He said laughing. Mac smiled at him, then looked a Toll, he was looking at her, an intense look in his eyes, her smile disappeared. She looked down, breaking their gaze, when her eyes came back to his there was a faint smile on his lips.

Tool found himself impressed, she obviously wasn't alright with Toll being picked on and not afraid to step in. It didn't matter that she didn't know what reaction she'd get, she just jumped in. He also noted that earlier in the evening when he'd been talking with her, she'd been constantly aware of Toll, her eyes searching him out. He also noted Toll was the same with her, he was gravitated toward her, listen to as much of their conversation as possible. Watching.

Tolls body tensed when Hale asked Mac what she thought, couldn't he find a better way to occupy himself. Wishing he wouldn't drag her into this, but at the same time he wanted to know, he waited, after short pause, she answered. "I think only a fool makes fun of the man searching for enlightenment. I for one find it admirable." His eyes snapped to her, her eyes locked with Hale's, no one said a word until Tool said, "well said." Then her eyes came to him, he could only stare, she'd managed to do the impossible, make Hale shut up.

She stayed way later than she should have, finally making excuses around midnight, she looked over at Toll catching his attention. "I have to go." He stood up with her while she said goodby, when she was finally ready he said, "I'll be back." Neither of them said anything as he walked her home or looked at one another, they walked close together arms nearly brushing several times. The air between them charged Mac wanted to talk but she couldn't, she felt jittery and on edge. She kept seeing him looking at her, his gaze had been very unnerving a couple of times tonight. When they reached the end of her driveway, they stopped. Macs eyes slowly travelled up him over the broad expanse of his chest, up his neck, along the strong line of his jaw, stopping on his face, god he was attractive she thought. She couldn't really see into his eyes, the shadows surrounding his bent head hiding them from her, she found the thought very unsettling. She suddenly felt more insecure, knowing he just watched her, she hesitantly asked, "would you.. Do you want.. I mean do you want to run in the morning." Her cheeks instantly turning pink from her stumbled over question. She saw him smile, but other than that she was at a loss, again wanting to know what was going on behind that shadow. After an agonizing moment he smiled fully, "ya." He said surprising her, his voice husky, "what time?" He asked. "How's six thirty?" She asked a full smile on her face. "That works," he said a hint of laughter in his voice. "Well I'm going to go," she said hesitant again, wishing he'd move so she could see him better. Realizing he wasn't going to do what she wanted, somehow sensing he knew he had her at a disadvantage, she said, "alright, I'll see you in the morning."

Not waiting for him to reply she stepped away from him, needing to settle herself, she glanced at him ounce more and walked to her house, unlocking the door and going inside. All the time fighting the urge to look back at him, but she knew he watched.


	7. Chapter 6

Mac stomach rumbled the minute she walked in to her kitchen, and poor Goose dug at the back door wanting inside, he'd apparently gone out and couldn't get back in through his door. She opened the door, he jumped up excited nearly knocking her over, she scratched his head and said, "you're mad at me aren't you boy, I took off and left you here all night all alone." He whined and ran past her, she closed the door, then next attending to the needs of her stomach. She hadn't eaten since morning and unfortunately she had no left overs, so she opened her fridge grabbing whatever looked good, which ended up being blackberries and some Irish cheddar, grabbing a water she set down at the bar and dug in.

Her thoughts drifting back to her quiet neighbor, she couldn't believe she'd stumbled all over herself tonight, asking him to run with her in the morning. Men rarely made her feel at a loss for words, she was always in control never uncertain of herself as a person. Tonight he had made her that way, she didn't regret asking him, just felt embarrassed. He apparently, could ruffle her composure. It began the moment he walked into her house, just one look at him and she'd been speechless. She knew why he had this effect on her, it was because he was quiet and slightly brooding. She like most people, she surrounded herself with people like her, Jake for instance, Tess and even Neal, they were all confident and self-assured. Toll was not, so his watchful eyes, and quiet manners put her at a loss. With Most people it was incredibly easy to know what they were thinking, she wouldn't have gotten where she was in business, if she couldn't to read people. But Toll he was hard self contained as he was, she couldn't get a good read. She finished her snack and went to bed, it was becoming a habit to think of him as she fell asleep, tonight the only difference being, she had a slight smile on her face.

Mac awoke early, way early she rolled over and looked at her clock five. F-ing spectacular she thought, she knew she'd never fall back to sleep now. She set up rubbing her face, and looking about her room, she grabbed her phone dialing her moms number. She knew if she didn't do something, she'd go nuts, obsessing about what was happening in an hour. When her mom didn't answer she assumed they were getting Lex ready for her flight, she'd be in at two this afternoon.

Toll, himself woke up at five thirty like normal, brushed his teeth and got dressed, putting on grey shorts and a white t-shirt. He made himself a protein shake and set down on the couch with a book, trying not to fixate on her. She'd surprised him several times last night, firstly with the way she'd handle meeting the guys, and again with Hale and then when she'd asked him to run with her. He'd never have expected that invitation in a million years, he thought about making an excuse but gazing down at her in the dark while she'd tried to search his face, he'd been taken off guard by just how attracted to her he was, she had seemed so small and feminine standing there in front of him, the breeze playing in the ends of her hair, her soft lips slightly parted. So he'd said "ya." His voice sounding rough in his own ears, then she smiled.

He stepped out his door and saw her walking down the street, she had on a bright green tank top and shorts, her hair pulled back, a brightly colored headband wrapped around her head. He stared an instant, watching a smile bloom on her face, her pretty eyes settled on him. It's just a morning run, he told to himself. She just asked you to run not take her on a date.

Mac saw him, the butterfly's she developed in her stomach fluttering even harder, she'd smiled because she didn't know what else to do. He watched her intently as he started walking toward her and Mac found she had to look away, anywhere but at him. Oh this was a bad idea, her brain whispered.

When they stopped Mac bent at the waist catching her breath she stood back up a smile playing on her lips and in her eyes, her face flushed a healthy pink, "you've got stamina." She said rubbing the sudden stitch in her side. That last half mile had nearly done her in, pushing herself harder than normal, still out of breath she looked up at him. He was smiling down at her his eyes full of amusement, "you thought you had me." He said his voice sounding mischievous, he was a little out of breath himself. She laughed harder making the stitch in her side hurt worse, "well I'm used to running with Liam!" Her laugh had stopped but her vibrant smile had stayed, he watched her amused then said, "ya I've seen how you treat your brother. If I remember right it didn't work so well for you, brat." She laughed again beaming up at him, her eyes flashing. "Brat!" She exclaimed her mouth falling open, pretending shed been offended. Then she arched an eyebrow and laughed again saying, "ya, who am I trying to kid! But in my defense Liam deserves everything he gets." Tolls smile broadened she defiantly was adorable, with her eyes sparkling full of mischief, her gorgeous smile lighting her face. "So," she began, holding his gaze, "do you want to come in?"  
Where the hell had that come from she wondered, asking him to come inside, She apparently had no control over the questions she asked him, but she hoped he said yes, she wasn't ready to part company just yet, wanting to spend more time with him.

He watched her surprised for a moment, then nodded his head and said, "sure." She gave him a pleased smile and said, "come on then."

The moment she turned away from him a healthy dose of embarrassment hit her, "do you want to come in." Her own words popped into her mind in a mocking voice, great Mac chided herself. She might as well have stuck a note on her forward that said, hi you make me nervous and I can't seem to think around you. Thinking of last nights stumbled over question and when she'd asked him if he had a girlfriend and now this. Where oh where had all her brains and tact gone. Finally she told herself to shut the hell up.

She looked up at him after they entered the house, she didn't lock her door he noted, but lost that thought when her little black lab bounded into the room to say hello. Mac shut the door and squatted down the dog instantly jumped on her, she hugged him and kissed his head, "you're mad at me aren't you boy?" She asked scratching his head affectionately, he whined and licked her hand, then nearly knocked her over trying to kiss her face. Mac glanced up at Toll as she stood, "this" she said with a smile on her face, "is my Goose." Toll smiled bemused by her affection for the creature and said, "hey boy," as he reached down to scratch his head. When the energetic little thing tried to jump on him, she said, "sit." Then looked up at him again, "sorry, he's a good dog just, he just can't contain himself around new people."she said. "It's alright." He replied, holding her gaze. "Do you want something to drink, or maybe eat?" She asked as she headed for the kitchen, obviously expecting him to follow. "Water." He said following her into the kitchen, he watched her open the fridge then looked about the room. He had known it was big but hadn't really paid much attention to his surroundings yesterday. Today he noted it was pretty much original except for the grey granite counters and stainless steel work area beside the stove. She appeared in front of him handing him a water, a friendly look in those green eyes.

Mac watched him as he surveyed his surroundings, feeling that strange pull of attraction again. He was so incredibly male, all hard planes and muscle, he was tall and powerfully built with strong features and those beautiful sage green eyes. He made her feel tiny when she stood close to him, which she wasn't at five foot eight, anything but. He was more at ease with her this morning than he'd ever been, she'd made sure of it. Trying her hardest to control the nervous energy that seemed to swirl around her when he was close. She watched a moment longer, then approached holding out a water, his gaze came to hers, as he excepted the drink. Suddenly feeling uncertain, she pushed past it, smiling brightly and asking, "do you want a tour."  
"Sure." He said in surprise, noting how even though she smiled up at him, she didn't hold his gaze.

They walked through the downstairs level, he noted the old hardwood plank floors and high ceilings, the rest of the main floor like the kitchen was close to original. Large rooms, with floor to ceiling windows, and original woodwork. He could tell she loved the place and she should, he watched as she talked about it, her pride and happiness showing.

Mac walked him through the house telling him all the inane history she'd found out about the place, he'd listened with a smile, paying attention to everything she said even though she doubted he was as interested. When they went upstairs she gestured for him to go first, suddenly uncomfortable with him following her up the stairs. When they reached the master bedroom she paused, suddenly realizing where they were, she peeked up at him, he wasn't looking at her. Which was probably a good thing, she was certain he'd see her nervousness if he was, get a grip she told herself and opened the door. She stepped aside and said, "this is where I sleep," her voice shaky, she didn't look at him. The thought of him in her room so close to her bed having an odd effect on her.

When she opened the door Toll instantly recognized the room as hers, it looked lived in. An old bed dominated one wall between two large windows, a dusky purple colored comforter tangled with some dark grey sheet covered her bed. The walls where a gun metal grey, the woodwork painted white, the same wide plank floors as the rest of the house. Mismatched antique furniture set around the room, a steamer trunk set at the end of the bed against a high footboard.

Mac grew quiet as she watched him survey her room, his eyes taking in everything, she had the feeling he didn't miss a thing. She felt like she was frozen in place, suddenly realizing how deep this attraction might run.

She watched him helpless, wanting so desperately to find her tongue or composure before he looked at her and saw everything on her face but it didn't happen, he turned.

Toll knew she stood beside him and after a few seconds it registered she wasn't saying anything. He turned his head to look at her, her beautiful eyes held a slightly troubled look, she didn't say a word just returned his gaze, she ran the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip then bit it, her eyes drifting down to his mouth. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, when her eyes finally came back to his, he felt like all the air had left his lungs. God help him, she was beautiful and it hit him exactly where he was.

Mac was fighting a battle with herself, one she was afraid she'd loose, if she didn't act soon. But luckily at that moment, Goose came bounding by them and into the room, he landed in the middle of her bed. The spell broke, she regained her composure, she pulled her gaze from Tolls and smiled at Goose. She cast a quick glance in Tolls direction, he was looking at Goose, she couldn't see his face. She found her voice saying, "let's move on." Turning she didn't wait for a reply, just tuned around and walked off.

Toll watched her as he followed her down the hall, she showed him the rest of the upstairs but wouldn't meet his gaze. Her cheeks stayed slightly pink and she seemed hesitant.

Mac shook her head, get a grip she told herself, it was no different from Jake standing in her bedroom or even Liam for that matter. Slowly gaining control of herself, she was alright by the time they'd finished the upstairs but she was still slightly uneasy with looking at him. He surprised her when he asked, "what's Mac short for?" She glanced over her shoulder at him a smile on her face, surprised by his question. " Kamron." She said as she stepped off the stairs, she turned to meet his gaze. He was smiling down at her, "Kamron what?"  
"Kamron Gloriana Sinclair."  
"Gloriana?" He questioned, it was defiantly not a name you heard often. She observed his curious smile and answered, "My grandmothers name." her eyes slightly twinkling, like she was remembering something from the past. He said, "well, Kamron Gloriana Sinclair, I need to go." A slight smile on his face, Mac held his gaze, her smile slipped slightly her gaze dropping to his lips, then coming back to his eyes, "alright." He held her gaze, knowing he need to leave, but caught up in her eyes again, a look of what he thought might be uncertainty in them. It reminded him of the look she'd given him when they'd been in standing outside her bedroom, his eyes dropped to her lips. It was she that broke the spell this time, "thanks for running with me." She said, his eyes snapped back to hers, a slight smile played around his lips, "anytime." She nodded a faint blush staining her cheeks, a soft smile steeling its way across her face.

Mac gained her composure after he left, chiding herself for acting like an idiot. She refused to dwell on their time together, she shook her head then reached up and pulled her headband off, then let her hair down. She ran upstairs taking them two at a time; Lex was coming this afternoon, that's all she needed to think about.

When Mac left for the airport, she noted a couple other bikes in his yard and that his garage door was open.

Mac as always was at the airport fifteen minutes before arrival time, so she was really a half hour early. She waited impatiently for Lex to appear. She smiled when she saw her sisters dirty blond hair and sunglass clad face, even more grown up than she'd been last December. Her seventeen year old sister was the heartbreaker in their family, she looked like their mom, Liam with his height, black hair and blue eyes looked like their dad, the only feature Mac had got from either of her parents were her moms eyes. Which she knew if Lex wasn't wearing those glasses would be staring back at her. They left the airport an headed to Liam and Beth's.

That night Mac set at the island in her kitchen, Liam set beside her they were both eating lemon meringue pie. He looked over at her an inquisitive look on his face, and said. "I stopped by last night."  
Great, was the first thought that popped into Macs head, "oh really" she said, licking the food off her spoon. "Ya and you weren't here." He said taking in her flat gaze.  
"You want a medal for your astute observation, captain obvious." She said, her voice every bit as flat as the look she was giving him. Liam watched her a minute and then his eyes filled with mischief, "ooooo," he began his eyes taking on an entertained light, "you, were with the neighbor." Macs face turned red, and she clammed up, not saying a word, her eyes twinkling slightly. Liam had only been joking when he said it but quickly realized he was right. "You naughty, naughty little girl." Mac ignored him and went back to her pie, not feeling the need to confirm or deny anything. "So," Liam continued greatly entertained, "I wondered how long it would take after I moved out." Mac rolled her eyes and continued to eat, her eyes twinkling and a slight smile on her lips. They were both quiet for a minute, then Liam asked, "did you kiss him?" Mac looked at him cocking an eyebrow and said "shut up."

But Liam couldn't let it go, "do I need to have a talk with him?" He asked playfully enjoying her discomfort. Mac laughed, "last warning, shut up." Then went back to her pie, "your bad." He said having to have the last word, Mac looked down at the pie on her plate and turned toward him, she scooped it up into her hand and rubbed it all over his face, then she ran.

She ran out the front door laughing, with Liam and his face full of pie directly behind her. She reached the middle of the street before Liam caught her, she was laughing and squealing as he rubbed the pie he'd wiped off his face all over hers. "Not so fast this time, are you?" Liam asked his voice full of mirth.

A few days later Mac set beside Liam on his front steps, Lex and Beth had gone inside to get drinks for everyone. Liam watched his sister curious, nudging her with his elbow, "so," he began, "about this guys?" Mac instantly went on the defensive, not really in the mood for more shit about him. Mac looked at her brother unimpressed. Liam took in her look and said, "look Mac, I'm not going to give you shit, I was just going to say, maybe you should give him at least a thought." Mac took a deep breath looking away, "I've almost thought about it." She answered truthfully. "What do you mean almost? I know he's got your attention." Mac looked at him, "he's just.. I don't know, he's different." Liam nodded then asked, "different how?" Mac fidgeted, suddenly uncomfortable with the question, she ran her fingers through her hair and leaned her chest against her knees wrapping her arms around them, she stared into space a moment then answered, "he's quiet, shy, hard to read and I'm not ready."  
Liam noted that, she wasn't ready, came last. He thought for a moment, then started, "look Mac, I know Neal really messed you up, but that doesn't mean every man is that way." She didn't reply, so he went on, "I wish you hadn't gone through all that but you didn't tell anyone or ask for help."  
"I told Jake." Her voice came out on a whisper. Liam looked at her shocked, she still wasn't looking at him, "it only happened twice, the first time I called Jake. Remember when, Neal went away suddenly and Jake showed up in town, he was only here four days, he said he had a family emergency?" Liam nodded he vaguely remembered what she was talking about, "I called him and he was here," she wiped a tear from her eye with the back of her hand. "He went and found Neal, and knocked him around, I really don't know much of what they said but he told him if he ever touched me again, it wouldn't be good. First of all, all he did was shove me, I had a bruise across my back, from falling into the counter. But Jake was furious."

"It didn't stop him though did it?" Liam questioned infuriated, Mac shook her head no,"why the hell did you take him back?"  
"I cared about him, I believed him when he apologized and said it wouldn't happen again and It didn't until the day I left." Liam nodded mad that she hadn't told him, if the son of bitch was still in the area he'd kill him.

one week late

A smile spread across Mac face the moment she saw him, it had been a week. He was presently running toward her and hadn't seen her yet, so she stopped and waited. His head down ear buds in, he looked up a surprised smile spread across his rugged features, he came to a stop in front of her, pulling his ear buds out. Looking down at her, happy to see her. She put her hands on her hips and just smiled at him, her smile brightened, "hi,you." She said. "Hey." Was his reply. "I haven't seen you in a while," she said stating the obvious but just glad to see him. He watched her intently, the reason they hadn't run into each other was he'd just gotten back again. Staying clear of that subject, he asked. "How's it going with your sister?"

Macs eyes slid over his face noticing the bruises from a week ago had vanished, he looked good. "She's great, it's great! I love having her here!" A faint smile played around his lips, "that's good." He said not knowing what to say. Her eyes slowly drifted over his face again, her eyes coming back to his, "you look better." She announced a smile on her face. She reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, he watched, as he said, "thanks." Then asked, "your sister not a runner?"  
"Not really and she's gone away with Liam and Beth, for a few days" On impulse she asked, "what are your plans for the day?" Acutely embarrassed the moment the words passed her lips, her cheeks automatically flamed and her composure went by, by. Where the heck did that come from she wondered and why the hell did he constantly make her feel at a loss.

He held her gaze a moment, slightly surprised by her question, her face turned red, bright red. She looked like she wanted the sidewalk to open up and swallow her, "not much, maybe a ride later."  
"Oh," she said, regaining some composure, but still embarrassed. Her gaze shifted away from him, suddenly wanting her to look at him again Toll asked, "and you?" Her bright eyes came back to him but only momentarily, "working on menus, and picking my car up." Macs gaze finally travelled back to his face, Toll instantly felt that pull, her green eyes catching him, "do you need a ride?" He asked surprising both of them, for some reason he desperately wanted her to say yes. Reminding himself even if she said yes, it was just for the ride.

Mac held his gaze shocked by his question, she said "ya, if your offering."


	8. 7

**Well first I'd like to thank the people who have reviewed and liked or followed my story So far! Really, if I weren't for you guys I'd probably give up. This story has been immensely fun so far, I feel Toll Road is a greatly neglected, he has so much potential! **

**I know this chapter is horribly short but I thought I'd give** **you all a little something.**

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**"Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." **

**- Humphrey Bogart**

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Toll had embarrassed himself slightly this morning asking her if she needed a ride, it had been the polite thing, the neighborly thing to do. But that hadn't been his sole reason, he had jumped on the opportunity to spend more time with her, he'd found himself hoping he didn't sound as pathetic as he thought he had.

Mac watched Toll, he was in the garage squatted down by his bike, his back to her. Mac stared for a moment, he'd said to come down when she was ready. She had felt anxious the moment they parted this morning, and the sight of him right now wasn't helping. She'd been so happy to see him this morning, it had surprised her. She didn't usually light up like that for just anyone. She stood there watching him, with him unaware, she felt her stomach flutter.

At that moment he looked over his shoulder, he smiled faintly and stood. "Hi." Mac said, holding his unsettling gaze. She felt her cheeks flush when he didn't immediately reply. He just stood there watching her, his gaze making her fidget, she felt her face flush more. She dropped her gaze away from him.

Toll found himself caught of guard, by the look in her eyes. He'd sensed someone behind him and looked to see who it was, she'd been standing there with that look on her gorgeous face. He knew she said hi, but the look she was giving him made him inarticulate.

Shaking off the alien feelings he seemed stir in her, she said, "well I'm here."  
"I see that." He said, his eyes sliding down her body, she made his mouth go dry. she had on a tight grey t-shirt, tight blue jeans with a small hole in the right thigh, and black flat soled leather boots that almost came to her knees. Her hair in a messy bun. Slow down he said to himself. Needing to clear his head, he walked over to a work bench against the far wall and laid down a screw driver, he picked up a rag and whipped his hands. Turning his attention back to her.

Mac watched his eyes slide down her, the look in his them making her self conscious, she suddenly felt warm, her pulse quickened. He turned away from her walking to a work bench and laying something down, his attention shifted back to her. "I just need to wash my hands and we can go," he said. Mac was silent a second, she took a deep breath to steady her nerves, her eyes drifting to his lips she said, "alright."

She didn't follow him inside, needing a chance to regain her composure, she focused on his bike instead, never a fan of the Harley she had to admit, she was looking at this one slightly different. Knowing full well her sudden interest, was to do with the man not the machine it's self. The idea of him on the thing, made her feel slightly warm. Well, this distraction wasn't working so well she thought. Instead she looked around his neat garage, everything in its place, a couple toolboxes, a workbench, some wheels and tires stacked up neatly in one corner, and an air compressor. Nothing to give any hint about the man who owned the stuff. Well nothing besides he didn't buy cheap stuff, the toolboxes were snap on and the compressor Dewalt.

He walked back into the garage, keys in hand, he asked "are you ready?" She smiled walking toward him, she asked, "are we taking the bike?" Knowing full well that wasn't what he had planned, she knew it even before she'd seen that surprised look. She held his gaze, stopping directly in front of him, she watched a slow smile spread across his face. "If you want." He said. She smiled up at him her eyes drifting to his lips, she had realized recently her eyes often found their way to his mouth, the thought causing her to blush. "Absolutely," she said with a dazzling smile her expressive eyes full of mischief.

Again she shocked him, asking him if they were taking the bike, the way she looked at him, the only way to describe it being flirtatious, he'd slowly smiled in return and replied, if you want. finding the knowledge she wanted to ride on his bike pleasing. Her smile broadened, her eyes filled with that secretive little light he'd seen before. She looked for all the world like she'd gotten exactly what she wanted. He had to remind himself yet again it was just her, he'd seen it himself. But he'd be damned if he could keep it from affecting him.

For once Mac wouldn't allow herself to feel embarrassed from asking him an impulsive question, she ended up right where she wanted. On the back of his bike, her arms wrapped around him. She'd run home and grabbed a jacket, and he'd been waiting at the end of her driveway when she came out.

Admittedly she mused, she had a firmer grip then she needed, her body brushing against his back, just think how much tighter it would be if he rode a street bike instead of a cruiser she thought. Pleased with herself at the moment she knew she'd be acutely embarrassed later.

The ride was over way to quick it only took fifteen minutes to get to the Subaru dealership, he pulled in and shut his bike off.

She stood climbing off the bike and pulled off the full face helmet he'd given her then met his eyes. "Thanks." She said, smiling brightly, she loved being on a motorcycle, apparently in any form. She had to fight the urge to tell him she didn't have to pick up her car till six. "You're welcome." He said, setting on the bike, his gaze unreadable. She held up his helmet in her right hand and asked, "I'll get this too you later?" Not wanting to hand it over, knowing it would give her a chance to see him again soon. "Alright," he answered nodding a slight smile on his lips, she wondered if he knew why she was keeping it.

Mac watched him drive off, her skin felt strange almost to small for her body, especially when she thought about her arms wrapped around his impressively muscled frame. She hadn't been quite brave enough to press herself fully against his back but she'd thought about it.

Toll knew he was in trouble, he needed to distance himself, but he also knew it wouldn't happen. No matter how much he cautioned himself, told himself be careful. He couldn't be near her and use caution.

Mac didn't head straight home instead went to the office, she hadn't been to the kitchen more than ten hours in the last week and a half. She'd primarily worked from home since Lex had arrived, doing everything by email and over the phone. She'd only come in for meetings and to pay her employees. She had a wedding reception weekend after this one and a library fundraiser a week from tomorrow. So she decided she'd go in and open mail and just generally put in an appearance.

She ended up at the office late, then took her assistant Anna and the kitchen staff out to dinner. The entire afternoon she'd felt an almost giddy sensation, when she thought about him her skin started to feel tight. After dinner she still wasn't ready to go home, still feeling slightly euphoric she decided to go find Tess. Maybe a few beers would calm her. Mac went home only long enough to drop off her car, and hug her neglected pet.

Toll pulled his bike into Tools shop and shut it off aware of the eyes watching him, he had ignored Caesars texts this morning. Not wanting do go through the process of telling Hale he wasn't free and then be expected to explain why. He'd gotten enough shit since that night at his house. On their last mission Hale had been at it as usual, giving everyone shit. He'd started in on him, and Gunnar had interrupted, reminding Hale he better not pick on him, because he had a little friend with sharp claws. So he'd spent the rest of the trip, getting comments thrown his way. Funny though, nothing any of them said really got to him this time.

Yang asked, "where have you been, Hale's been complaining all day?"

Followed by Gunnar's, "like a women."

Barney set back and watched his friend closely, Toll had very little to say like normal, keeping the mystery of where he'd been to himself. Not anything new in its self, they all had secrets they kept to themselves, but he couldn't help but wonder if it didn't have something to do with that girl, with pretty eyes and a flirtatious personality.

Mac rolled over and looked at her alarm clock, nine o'clock well she slept in. Usually up by six or six thirty, nine made her feel like the day was half over. She set up looking beside her, Goose laid stretched out still sleeping soundly. She climbed out of bed heading to the bathroom, feeling the effects of a few beers and a crowded bar on her skin. She needed a shower and then food. After she showered, she threw on some comfy cloths, then headed downstairs to get something to eat. Goose dancing around her, excited as usual.

As it did often her mind drifted to Toll, yesterday he offered her a ride, and she taken it suggesting they take his bike. Oddly enough she still wasn't embarrassed with herself, she'd got exactly what she wanted. Again she'd detected the faint smell of gun cleaning oil, it made her curious about what he did with his spare time. She smiled slyly thinking about the helmet she needed to return, Lex wouldn't be back till tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 8

As soon as she had the thought, she regretted it. On came the embarrassment, she couldn't go shove herself in his face. The ride yesterday had been one thing, the question popping out of her mouth before she'd realized it she didn't feel embarrassment over that. But she found a whole healthy bunch of embarrassment at the thought of seeing him today. She decided to not go looking for him, she doubted he'd appreciate her showing up unannounced and forced herself in. He came across as a private man, and she didn't know him well enough to pry, no matter how curious she might be, besides it wasn't her nature to force herself into people's private lives. When she finished her food she got up, her mind moving to the needs of the day, she still had a mountain of boxes she needed to go through and put away. Not really surprising seems when it came to home life she tended to put off what she could do today, till tomorrow.

She walked down the hall and opened the doorway to the room she'd told Liam to stack stuff in and paused momentarily thinking about putting it off again. Noting the stacks were taller than she remembered. She looked down at Goose who'd appeared by her and said, "let's do this."

Mac moved as much as she could, finding all sorts of boxes marked office. Ha, she known there were missing boxes, so she started there carrying stuff down the hall to her office. She managed to find most of what shed thought was missing. When she finished there was a mountain of cardboard in the middle of the room, she carried the cardboard to the garage.

Toll put his book down and pulled off his reading glasses, he reached up and rubbed his eyes. There was stuff he needed to do besides reading. Like get his gear bag back together, he'd cleaned it out after he got home but it was his habit to keep it ready at all times, he hated having to look for things. This way everything was where he needed it. He kept hoping that maybe they'd have a small break this time a week or two would be nice, he needed some down time to recharge. If it didn't happen soon, he'd thought he might just tell Barney he needed a vacation, the problem with that being they didn't really take vacations and he didn't like the idea of leaving his comrades one man short. With his job there weren't sick days, or personal time, every man counted and got counted on. He stood up and stretched, then headed for his bedroom, he grabbed his bag, and walked to the room where he kept his gun safe and gear.

By mid afternoon he found himself wondering if he'd see her today, he'd thought he would, at least to return the helmet. Well technically it was Lacy's she left it a longtime ago and never came back to get it. He probably should have called and made sure she would be ok with someone using it but he doubted she'd mind. Besides he'd have had to explain why he needed it and really he didn't want to.

By the time five o'clock rolled around he felt like he actually accomplished something today, he'd gotten his lawn mowed various household chores done and he'd worked out. His thoughts started drifting back to her, he'd been utterly shocked when she'd asked about his bike, not just shocked though, he liked the idea a lot. He'd liked it even more when her slender little arms wrapped around his waist but not half as much as he'd liked the sight of her climbing on, her expressive face showing her enjoyment. As much as he kept telling himself to get a grip, it was difficult.

Holy crap, she thought as she looked at the empty room, she'd managed to clean it out. Happy with herself, she went and grabbed the broom and cleaned up. By six she was filthy, tired and hungry. Suddenly craving barbecue she ran upstairs to change and get cleaned up, she wanted Jumbo's they had the best pit barbecue in New Orléans at least in her opinion. Within fifteen minutes she had changed and headed out.

Mac pulled into the parking lot, not surprised there wasn't hardly a parking spot available. This place was always booming. She backed into the first parking spot she found, the helmet in her backseat catching her eye, she paused looking at it a moment. Then turned around put her car in first, shut it off and got out. Already the smell of barbecue surrounded her, making her stomach growl and her mouth water.

She loved this place, it had a certain charm only places in the Deep South could achieve, the restaurant itself set on a pier over the river, the exterior covered with board and batten style siding that they'd allowed to just age unpainted, large windows filled with neon signs dominated the front of the building. Inside the ambiance got better, open beams lined the ceiling, supported by cedar columns. But the best things of all besides the food, in her opinion were the peanut shells on the floor and the wide choice of craft beers, all brewed at local breweries.

Mac stepped inside not surprised to hear Copperhead road playing from the jukebox, another thing about this place was the music. Mac wasn't really surprised she had to wait in line even for take out, when she finally reached the counter, she ordered prime rib and coleslaw. Impulsively asking the cashier if he could make that two orders. She wondered if Toll had ever eaten here.

Toll was getting ready to head to Tools when he heard a knock on his door, curious he opened it. Mac stood there with Lacys helmet in one hand and a bag in the other, he looked past her briefly seeing her car setting in his yard, his attention came back to her.

The uncertainty Mac had felt upon leaving Jumbo's was nothing compared to what she felt when he opened the door, she couldn't speak for a moment, she just stared at him as he looked at her, then her car. When his attention came back to her, she found her tongue, "it occurred to me, while I was getting dinner, that I still had your helmet" she lied. Not like she'd hadn't thought about it off and on all morning. She gave him a nervous smile, "so I thought I'd return it and bring you some dinner as a thank you." She held his gaze, the smile on his face growing bigger as she explained. He didn't say anything at first just stared down at her, a pleasantly surprised look in his eyes. All the same Mac felt herself grow even more nervous, she shifted her weight onto one leg, and looked away. Finding his gaze unnerving.

When her gaze dropped, Toll realized he'd not said a word just stared at her. Smooth move, he said to himself, she brings you dinner and you gape like an idiot. His felt his cheeks color, he cleared his throat and said, "thanks, but you didn't need to." When he'd cleared his throat her eyes had come back to him, he found himself momentarily startled by how green they looked at that minute, she smiled at him and said, "it's the least I could do."

Tolls dropped his gaze down to the bag in her hand, then his eyes came back to her face as she said, "its Jumbos barbecue, I wasn't sure, I mean I thought I'd bring you some." He held her gaze, "Do you want to come in?" He found himself asking, she looked surprised her eyes drifting to his lips, then they travelled back to his, "I mean if you haven't eaten already, you could eat with me.. if you wanted." Mac smiled, her eyes holding his, she nodded, a slight blush on her face, " sure." She answered. She gestured toward her car saying, "mines in my car though, if you will take this stuff, I'll go get it."

She watched him as she followed him to the kitchen, he had waited for her at the door, stepping back so she could step around him, then closing the door, he reached out and took her box from her hands. He hadn't looked at her, just said "let me get that for you" and took the box. She watched him set the food down on the counter, then open a cupboard door, pulling out two plates. Mac felt odd in the quiet that surrounded them, he still hadn't looked at her. She had to do something so she asked, stepping forward, "can I help?" His attention returned to her, his attention making her feel little breathless. He held her gaze, then said, "you can get some cups out of the cupboard by the sink." A faint smile playing around his lips, Mac felt an answering smile tug at her own mouth.

Mac set down at the table across from him, pretty sure he didn't know what to say, she knew if she didn't think fast she wouldn't either. So she ran through a list of questions in her mind, stopping on the one she was most curious about, focusing on her food, she asked. "Do you target practice or hunt a lot?" Her voice sounding curious, her eyes met his while she took a bite. Toll looked at her surprised, " why do you ask?" Nervous she'd somehow seen guns and ammo somewhere in his house. Some guns you could easily explain other you couldn't, like the ones he used for work. She gave him an embarrassed smile, "I've smelt gun cleaning oil on you before," her cheeks turned red, slightly at the thought of those moments. When he just looked at her she continued, "you never forget that smell." He relaxed, and answered, "you could say that." It was the best answer he could think of, it seemed horrible to equate his job to target practice and hunting. He watched her eat a moment, a slight smile appearing around his lips, he said "I'm right, you are a strange little thing." Thinking about the fact she knew that smell most women wouldn't know that smell. She looked up at him and smiled, a mischievous light in her eyes, "hey, now we've already had this discussion." Her eyes danced in amusement, "and I believe, I told you I am not." He finished chewing his mouthful of food his eyes full of their own mischief, "if you say so, brat." She laughed nearly choking on the water he'd got her, "and now we are name calling?" She questioned, trying to look offended. " a women buys you dinner, and this how you repay her?" She questioned, her voice full of laughter. He smiled not knowing how to reply, for a moment he'd worried she was serious. Then he saw her bright smile. Holding his gaze, she reached back with her right hand gathered her hair and pulled over her shoulder, then asked, "whats your favorite movie?" He smiled, "I'm not sure." He answered because he really wasn't sure.

Mac left shortly after dinner, this hadn't been her plan really, she'd just wanted to say thanks. Plus she felt the need to shower and wash the rest of the dust off, from earlier today. She made her excuses and he walked her to the door, opening it for her. She smiled looking up at him, he was so cute, opening doors for her. Most men didn't open doors anymore. Something about him at that moment reminded her off that night in the dark, she had no idea what or why. He was holding her gaze intently, his look unreadable like usual. Suddenly curious she impulsively asked, " are we friends?" Caught off guard yet again by one of her question, this one filled him with pleasure also. He held her gaze a moment, "if you want." She smiled at his typically noncommittal reply, a faint blush stanining her cheeks, her eyes drifted to his lips then went back to his eyes, "good."

Mac drug Lex out if bed the next morning and made her run with her. When Lex had complained, Mac gave her, her best pouty look and reasoned, "but your only here eleven more days." Trying for all the world to pull off Tess's doe eyed look. Lex had simply laughed at her sister failed attempt at batting her eye lashes and said, "fine." Trying to sound irritated.

There run had ended up being more of a walk, Mac listened entertained while her sister talked about boys, her boyfriend and the guy she actually liked. Her sister had a tendency to become hard to follow in conversation, jumping from one topic to another. Once they established that Chris the guy she really liked was super hot and all the girls liked him, they moved on to college prospects. Apparently Lex was more inclined to follow their fathers wishes and get a real career, instead of making poor choices and wasting her potential like he felt Mac had done. Mac shook the thought off refusing to allow her fathers negativeness to ruin any of her time with Lex.

Macs attention left her sister when Goose bolted, running off ahead of them. She looked up not really surprised to see him there, he wasn't looking at them his attention presently focused on Goose, whom he squatted down to pet. He looked up catching her gaze, and instantly that strange energy swirled around her. They might have decided they were friends last night but it didn't seem to change the effect he had on her.

Toll stood up and walked towards them, watching her the entire time. He wished she didn't have this strange effect on him, but holding her gaze, he felt himself being pulled in again. He'd had fun with her, she always seemed to charm him out of his awkwardness, he felt almost normal in her company. Friends, he thought she had asked him if they were friends. That had been a first for him, the few people he counted as friends he known for a longtime but he liked the idea of a friendship with her, she had no idea about his life or who he really was. She believed him just a man, not a monster.

Mac watched him walk toward her taking a deep breath, the look in his eyes unsettling as always. If he'd stop the brooding intensity thing he had going maybe she be able to think coherently around him. Lex leaned closer and asked, "who's that?" Mac attention left him, traveling to Lex. She'd forgotten her sister was with her, "my neighbor" she replied but thought my friend. She liked the way that sounded she decided.

Macs gaze travelled back to him, he stopped about three feet away. Mac looked up eyes meeting his, he had that smile she liked best on his face. Mac found herself smiling in return, "fancy meeting you here." She said. Toll chuckled, "imagine that." He replied his voice sounding amused. Her smile broadened,she held his gaze a moment longer eyes twinkling, then turned her attention to Lex she said, "this is my baby sister." Toll studied Mac a moment longer, then turned his attention to the young women beside her, his smile growing wider. He stuck out his hand, "pleased to meet you, I'm Toll." He said as he shook her hand. He noticed the only resemblance the girl held to her sister, were her eyes. Bright emerald green and almond shaped. She gave him a warm smile, "I'm Lex." He dropped his hand away, and glanced at Mac who was watching her sister, she looked happy, he turned his attention back to Lex and asked, "how are you enjoying your vacation?" She smiled sweetly up at him, "it's great I love spending time with Mac." Toll thought to himself, I'm starting to feel the same way, but said, "that's good."

When they were nearly home Lex surprised Mac when she said, " he's _the_ neighbor isn't he?" Mac looked over at Lex, embarrassed and amused, worried afraid her interest showed. She asked arching her eyebrow, "what do you mean _the_ neighbor." An amused look in her eyes. Lex looked at her sister, her eyes dancing with laughter she said, "oh my he is the neighbor." Mac blushed slightly, and shook her head, saying "I don't know what it is, to which you refer." Under Lex's regard Macs face turned an even brighter shade of red, "don't even try to deny it, it's him. And before you say a word, Liam told me all about it." Mac shook her head and walked up the front steps onto the porch, Lex's voice following behind her said thoughtfully, "well he is attractive I guess, if you like big muscles. But I do have to say he wasn't what I'd expected." Mac looked over her shoulder at Lex as she opened the door, curious she asked, "and what does that mean?" Lex laughed, "I don't know your men are usually slightly prettier, like Jake he's hot and Neal was very handsome."

Mac rolled her eyes and went inside, with Lex on her heals. Lex didn't know about Neal why they'd actually split, Mac hadn't told her parents what happened. Mac smiled to herself as she headed to the kitchen, "fist of all," she began, "I have never dated Jake, and second, Neal is very handsome, but last and most important I am not interested in my neighbor in that way, regardless of what Liam thinks. We are just friends." Lex watched Mac a moment a knowing smile lighting her face, she said, "ya right."

The next day Mac noted his truck was gone again It stayed gone several days.


	10. Chapter 9

Toll lay on the bed in a dark hotel room, arm behind his head staring at the ceiling watching the fan turn round and round. He couldn't count the number of flea and cockroach infested hotels he'd stayed in, since he'd taken his first merc. job. This one was no better or worse than the others. He'd taken one look at the bed when he entered and pulled the filthy blankets off, pulling out his sleeping bag and laying it on top of the mattress.

Caesar laughed at him, but had done the same to the other bed in the room and more he flipped the mattress and sprayed it with Lysol. Toll didn't feel the need to go that far. He could hear Caesars even breathing, and lite snores. He wished he found it as easy to sleep as his friend but sleep always eluded him when they were on a mission. He spent his nights going over everything he knew about the mission, planing what he could and hoping everything went well.

Although things rarely went as they planned it all seemed to work out in the end. They all trusted each other and worked together, each one looking out for the others. There had been a time not that long ago when one of their own had become unpredictable, and dangerous. Sometimes working with Gunnar even after over a year of his being clean, still made Toll anxious, he would get that soulless, vacant look in his eyes, like he was dead on the inside. It was down right creepy even though Toll knew he was harmless, Barney never would have taken him back if he'd thought otherwise, it still could make you nervous.

That monster that Gunnar became when they were in the heat of battle soulless and vacant, laughing that dead laugh. That's what scared the shit out of him, becoming that creature who'd killed so many, he could laugh when taking a life.

Mac found her house seemed empty after Lex left, echoing and empty, even more so than when Liam moved out. The silence sometimes deafening, so she began to spend more and more time at the office which wasn't difficult. She'd had many bookings for Christmas parties coming in and though Christmas was still months away, she focused on preparing what she could. Mac found her curiosity about her neighbor continued to grow, taking on a life of its own, she hadn't seen him more than twice since Lex had left and that had been on her morning runs. They'd talk briefly and she'd feel that same tightening in her gut and strange energy. He'd smile, she'd smile and when they parted she was at a loss. For all of her asking if they were friends, she sometimes had to admit to herself that wasn't what she really wanted. But she wasn't sure exactly what she wanted, from the shy man, she wouldn't even contemplate what else it could be. So she found herself steering clear of him not necessarily avoiding him, just not searching him out.

Mac looked down at her beautiful little niece, nestled in her arms. Charlotte Elisa Sinclair, she'd been born two hours ago. And Mac was in love, with her fingers and toes and everything. She was perfect, Mac had decided the moment she'd seen her. Liam had stayed with Beth through it all, fourteen hours of labor and he'd been here by her side. Beth looked at Mac and said, "now it's your turn Mac." Macs gaze shot to Beth, who was smiling at her, Mac smiled in return her attention going back to her niece, she said, "oh I don't know about that." Beth smiled, "sure it is, find yourself a nice guy settle down and have a kid or two."

"Hey where's your little friend these days?" Hale asked, catching Tolls attention, he'd been staring at his beer, he looked over at him surprised, "I don't know." He answered truthfully. Hale's eyes filled with amusement, "I should have known you'd screw it up." There were several snorts of amusement from around the table, Toll looked around embarrassed, he asked, "what?" Caesar looked at him in humorous disbelief, "you my friend are the only one that could screw that one up." Taking a drink off his beer and then laughing at Tolls confused expression, he teased, "so I guess you won't mind if I pick up where you left off. Couldn't figure out how you turned her head with all this real man around." Barney watched Road a moment and when Caesar went to speak again Barney said, "enough bullshit, we need to talk about our latest job." Watching Road a moment more, he wished he knew more about this girl and what her angle was.

Macs body felt the need to protest majorly this morning she'd decide to run the opposite way up the grade, and when her lungs hurt instead of stopping she pushed herself. When she turned the corner onto the end of her street, she thought about slowing instead she pushed herself harder. Throwing herself down on the lawn in front of her house gasping for air her body feeling spent. She laid there with arm over her eyes waiting for heart rate to go back to normal when she heard a deep laugh. She moved her arm and opened one eye, she saw Tolls friend Hale standing there, looking throughly amused. She returned his smile, "can I help you?" She asked. He chuckled again extending a hand to help her up. She took it, "I saw you come flying around the corner and across the road I just thought I'd make sure everything was alright." She laughed as she gained her feet, and brushed herself off. "Ya, it's fine." She said good naturedly, meeting his gaze again. His eyes sparkling, "training for a marathon?" She chuckled and shook her head, "no, it's almost hunting season, and I gotta loose the beer gut before I hit the woods." She said, thinking about her up coming trip with her brother, she didn't know that she'd do any hunting but she was going. "Hunting?" Hale asked incredulous. She bit her lip and laughed, "something like that." Hale smiled at her entertained then asked, "we're going to breakfast, you want to come?" Mac almost said no she really did but she wanted to see Toll. "That would be great, where are you going? I will meet you there."

After she entered the house, she found herself hoping Toll would be alright with it. Then she shook her head of course he would they were friends.

Caesar walked into Tolls garage, looking for all the world like he'd just got away with something big. Toll asked him, "are you ready?" He hadn't been surprised to find Hale had gone looking for Mac when he came back out to the garage. But it made him nervous particularly after the comments of the other night. Hale gave him his biggest grin and said, "ya and we got one more joining us, Macs coming too. I told her you were over here pining away and she said she'd be right along." Toll exclaimed, "what!" Instantly embarrassed. Hale watched a moment and said, "chill out man, I'm only playing."

Mac walked into the restaurant, completely nervous and uncertain. Her eyes instantly searching for him, his eyes were on her. His gaze guarded, she made her way toward the table he occupied with Hale and Yang. She pulled her gaze from his as Hale turned toward her and smiled. Mac took the seat across from Toll, she gave him a hesitant smile and said, "hello."  
"Hey." Was his reply his eyes drifting to her hesitant smile. She turned her attention to Yang and said "hi," then her attention came back to Toll. She felt certain she'd some how over stepped a line again, he didn't look mad but he wasn't smiling. She was very uncomfortable, Hale came to the rescue asking, "so how did you get into the catering business?" She pulled her attention from Toll and smiled at Hale, "I went to the Cambridge school of culinary arts." Hale smiled and asked, "and where is that." She took the menu the waitress handed her, and answered, "Cambridge Massachusetts."  
"Are you from Massachusetts?" Yang asked drawing her attention.  
"Ya, the Boston area." Her eyes shifted back to Toll he just watched her a smile playing around his lips.

Hale monopolized the breakfast conversation, asking questions and telling stories. Mac found him entertaining, but she wished Toll would talk more. He smiled and laughed with the rest of them but had relatively nothing to say. When the check came, Mac pulled cash out of her pocket holding it out to Hale he was going to go find Yang who'd disappeared to the bathroom five minutes ago and pay. Before he could take her money Toll said, "I got it." Handing Caesar enough money to cover both their meals. Surprised Macs gaze snapped to Toll, meeting his eyes. Hale got up and walked away. A faint smile snuck onto her lips, "thank you." She said, her cheeks turning pink. Her eyes drifted to his lips, she again had no idea what to say.

Toll watched her an answering smile tugging at his own mouth. He'd been content just watching her, she'd charmed him, her eyes dancing with laughter. He was getting drawn in deeper and deeper, and he knew it. Friends, she'd asked him if they were friends. Well that word wasn't helping the part of him falling for her. No matter how stupid it sounded, he knew it was happening.

He walked her to her car, leaving the others by their bikes, neither of them said anything, she felt strange, almost breathless. Toll wished he could think of something to say but everything he thought of seemed stupid.

When they reached her car he opened the door for her, he watched her, she seemed uncertain also. She looked up at him, her eyes traveling over his face, finally coming to his eyes.

Toll looked down at her, watching her eyes drift over his face, he didn't know what to say. He could hardly think holding her gaze, not wanting to part company, but to much of a coward to ask her if she had any plans. His eyes drifted to her lips and paused.

Mac watched him, the look in his eyes as he focused on her lips unnerving. She didn't want to leave him just yet she'd missed him, and the charged air that seemed to always surround them. She asked, "what are you doing today?" His gaze shot back to her eyes, surprised, but a slow smile tugged at his lips, "I don't know." She nodded and looked away. He watched her a moment then took a deep breath and said, "going for a ride most likely."  
"Oh," she said her eyes coming back to his.  
"What about you?" He asked, she shook her head as her eyes travelled across his face, "nothing, it's Saturday." Toll watched her eyes travel over his, the way she was looking at him made his chest tighten. Her eyes paused on his lips then slowly came back to his. Ask me to come with you, her mind whispered. He heard the words leave his mouth before he even knew he'd thought them, "you could come with me." A slow smile worked its way onto her face and she said, "I'd like that." He smiled at her, his gaze dropping to her lips and Mac felt her heart begin to race.

Mac felt shaky the moment she got into her car, her mind whispered what are you doing Mac? where are you going with this? She shoved those thoughts aside. Shed think about it later, there was no way in hell she wasn't going with him. She wanted this she'd worry about it later.

On the ride home following her, he told himself not to read anything besides friendship into this. She'd had nothing to do today that's the only reason she had agreed to go. Be careful he told himself, falling for her wasn't wise. He found himself regretting asking her in some ways. He never knew what to say to her and it only got worse when they were around people. He hadn't told Hale or Yang what was happening only that he needed to go home. So they'd followed even though he'd hoped they'd let him catch up with later.


	11. Chapter 10

**Let your mind take a little back road just as far as you wanna go**

**Baby, I'll do, whatever you wanna do, wanna do - Blake Shelton**

* * *

Toll pulled into his yard, shutting off his bike, He quickly glanced down the road to make sure she wasn't coming yet. Thankfully she wasn't, he turned his attention back to his friends, he hadn't come up with anything to say that was going to save him any embarrassment. He'd tried to think of something anything on the way here. Not that he really cared what they thought, just that he felt embarrassed enough just from asking her if she wanted to come.

Hale looked at him expectantly and asked, "so what did you need to come back for?" Toll tried to figure out what to say, when nothing came to mind he gritted his teeth and went with the truth, "Mac." Was all he said holding Hale's eyes. Hale's eyes instantly filled with surprise followed by amusement, he said, "no shit, I didn't think you had it in ya." Toll managed to keep control of his discomfort and said, "it's not a big deal we are friends, that's all."

"Ya, if you say so." He said his voice sounding amused. Going on the defensive Toll said, "she had nothing to do, so she's coming with us." He got off his bike and headed for the house he needed to get Lacy's helmet and he wanted to get away from Hale. They let him go, Yang hadn't said anything, just looked shocked. Hale however couldn't leave anything alone.

Mac watched him drive by in her rear view mirror, as she pulled into her driveway, the others close behind. She didn't know if nervous was the right word to explain how she felt, she just knew she felt on edge. She set there, hands gripping the steering wheel for a full minute, while she thought about it. What are you doing, she kept thinking. But the answer was simple she told herself, nothing I am doing nothing, we are just friends. She reached up and turned off her car, noting her check engine light had come on, again. She defiantly need to get the lemon law thing figured out. She ran inside and made sure Goose could get out, and changed into some jeans then walked to Tolls house.

She saw Hale and Yang the minute she got to the end of her driveway, Toll wasn't anywhere in sight. Hale watched her, his eyes twinkling, she knew he would enjoy this. Yang just smiled at her, but Hale he reminded her of an alligator, his smile was so big, showing all his teeth. She had no doubt her quiet neighbor had already got a healthy amount of shit about her coming along, Hale liked to stir things up. Mac came to a stop in front of them, Holding Hale's gaze it was obvious he wanted to say something. But she didn't give him the chance she looked at Yang and asked, "where's Toll?"  
"He's inside." Mac turned intent on finding him but at that moment he stepped into the garage, her gaze moving to him, Mac couldn't see him all that well on the dimly lit interior. But she thought he might have hesitated, so she said, "I'm ready." Wanting to put him at ease.

"I see that," he said as he walked out the garage door hitting the button so the door would close. His reply sounding stupid to him, he hadn't known what else to say.

She waited for him by his bike, ignoring the fact she knew Hale watched, she just held Tolls gaze. She smiled at him wanting him to hurry up and get to her, Hale's gaze boring into her back driving her nuts. When he reached her he didn't say anything just handed her the helmet, but she saw something in his eyes that made her think he was uncomfortable. She held his eyes a smile playing on her lips she said, "let's go."

While she pulled on her helmet and did the chin strap, she heard Hale say, "you can ride with me." She looked at him, giving him a dirty look she knew he couldn't see, then climbed on behind Toll. A secretive little smile, blossoming on her face, she wrapped her arms around his thick muscular waist. The bike came to life and away they went, Mac snuggled closer than she needed and tightened her grip.

They stopped about fifteen minutes later, pulling up to a gas pump. Mac got off and took off her helmet, she excused herself and went inside. When she came out a few minutes later Hale and Yang were driving off. Mac looked at Toll expectantly, he said after a moment, "I'm going to catch up with them later." She held his gaze for a moment, wondering what he was thinking. Then dropped her gaze to the helmet he had waiting in his hand, she took a piece of gum out of the pack she'd just bought, unwrapped it and popped it in her mouth. When her attention came back to him, she offered him a piece, he smiled faintly and shook his head no. "Gums bad for your teeth," he said, feeling stupid the minute the words came out he hoped she didn't take that as criticism. Mac returned his faint smile, briefly meeting his eyes, she reached for the helmet. He handed it to her and asked, "you ready?"  
"Ya," she said with a smile, getting on the bike behind him. "Where are we going?" She asked as she put the helmet on, Toll turned his head slightly and asked, "where do you want to go?" Mac smiled inside her helmet, "the coast." She answered.  
"Then the coast it is," he said, starting his bike and driving off. She wrapped her arms around him and smiled.

Toll liked the feel of her arms around him, her hands resting on his abdomen, her body brushing against his, she had a slightly tighter hold then she needed but he didn't care. And he certainly wasn't going to point it out. They left the city and headed south.

Mac watched the scenery role by, content to simply be close to him. She didn't know why the others had left, but secretly she was glad. She forced herself to ignore that nagging little voice in her head, asking her what she was doing. It didn't matter at this moment, she was right where she wanted. They came to a stop sign in a small town about an hour away, then drove just down the street to a scenic look out, pulling off.

Once they'd parked Mac got off his bike and removed her helmet, before she'd even looked at him he said, "I thought you might want to stop." She looked at him and smiled, her eyes holding his. She wasn't going to say anything but he looked hesitant almost like he didn't know if he done the right thing. "Thanks," she said then turned her attention to the view. She unzipped her jacket, it felt at least seventy five but she wouldn't get on any kind of motorcycle without a jacket. Taking it off she turned to lay it down, but he took it from her hands and laid it on his seat along with her helmet. She watched him, feeling her breath catch, hit again by how attracted she was to him. Her eyes moved over him, the sleeves of his red button down shirt stretching over his biceps, and clinging to the broad expanse of his back. she had realized awhile ago there was not an ounce of fat on his powerfully built body, the thought making her feel warm.

His gaze came back to her, and she felt herself blush, like she'd been caught doing something wrong. Which she had been, well maybe not wrong but bad. Her gaze fixed on the strong line of his jaw, something inside her whispered but why is it bad. She tore her attention from him and looked back at the ocean, afraid he'd see what shed been thinking. He moved so he stood beside her, and said, "it's pretty here." She looked over at him, a soft smile spreading across her face, "ya it is." She studied his profile her eyes drifting to his lips all of their own accord, she wondered for just a moment how they'd feel. Then yelled at herself to stop.

He turned his head and looked down at her, his eyes traveling over her features, she slowly looked up at him, the look in her eyes unsettling, he'd seen one akin to it before but never this one. God help him. she dropped her gaze again, again wondering what he'd taste like at the thought a shiver rushed over her skin. She berated herself and tore her gaze from him, she need to do something before he figured out where her mind had been. It struck her how beautiful the vista was, so she asked, "is this a place you come?" Suddenly curious. "I've stopped here before, I thought you might like it." Her eyes came back to him, his words doing something to her, no matter how innocent they sounded.

Toll watched her gaze coming back to him her beautiful eyes holding a softer look, then when she tore her gaze from his mouth. He felt his chest tighten. Mac held his gaze, wishing desperately that she knew what he was thinking. All she knew for certain was he made her feel breathless. The air felt thick and heavy, as she stood there meeting his eyes, Mac smiled faintly and looked away again, before she could have anymore bad thoughts.

Toll felt himself being drawn into her, that soft look in her expressive eyes making him want, a warning signal went off in his brain, telling him to look away. Before he could Mac looked away and the spell broke. He watched her walk to his motorcycle and grab her stuff.

Mac still felt a little breathless as she put on her jacket, shaking off the feeling, she turned toward him, and smiled faintly, she asked. "Are you ready?"

Toll watched her a minute longer, his gaze traveling down her body, then coming back to her face, "if you are." He noticed her gaze had left him she focused on some point on the horizon. When he reached her, suddenly uncertain not knowing if she was ready to go back to the city. A large part of him hoped she wasn't, she spoke saving him the awkwardness. "Where are we going now?" He paused wanting her to look at him still uncertain what to say, her eyes slowly came back to him, "where ever you want." He found himself answering. She smiled at him and asked, "can we keep going?"

Barney walked into Tools shop, looking around he saw everyone was there except Toll, slightly surprised he wasn't there, he said. "Caesar, call Road, we have a job."  
"I can try but he might not answer." He said pulling out his phone. "Why wouldn't he answer?" Barney asked feeling slightly irritated, having just heard from Church this morning. He couldn't stand the smug bastard. "He took Mac for a ride." He laid a heavy innuendo on the word ride. Barney however wasn't in the mood, before he could tell Hale to just get Road on the phone. Tool spoke up, "maybe you should leave it brother, you can brief Toll later." Barney's gaze snapped to Tool, he nodded and said, "if he doesn't answer we'll do it without him."

So Mac found her arms wrapped around him again, she closed her eyes trying not to think about a few moments ago, come what may she wanted this day with him.

He pulled into a small Oceanside seafood place around noon, thinking she might be hungry. He pulled his phone out, he'd gotten a text

you still riding oops I mean out for a ride with Mac? We're having a briefing call when you get this. Hale

Toll knew his face turned red, he wasn't really surprised Caesar couldn't just leave things alone but sometimes his friend was a little to corse for his tastes. He looked up Mac who'd climbed off and took off her helmet when he stopped, and said "I have to make a call." Then added, "why don't you go in and get us a table." Mac smiled slightly curious, noting his red face then went inside anyway.

He called Barney, not wanting to talk to Hale. He absent mindedly watched her walk across the parking lot, irritated with Hale. Barney answered the phone, "hey?"  
"What's up?" Toll asked.  
"We've got a job, are you back?"  
"No, when do you need me?"

"Whenever, just get ahold of me when you get back in town. We're leaving day after tomorrow." Toll hadn't mentioned her and neither had Barney, but again Barney wondered.

Toll walked into the restaurant, knowing Barney had wanted to ask about her, he could hear it in his voice. Barney was the least likely to give into his curiosity, he always respected the boundaries between their private lives and what they shared. She looked up and smiled at him as he walked toward her. The smile spreading across her features and lighting her eyes. He set down across from her, she asked the first question that came to mind. "Is everything alright?" He leaned back and picked up his menu, "fine," he said quickly changing the subject, "are you hungry?"  
"Yup." She answered her eyes traveling over his down turned face, as he studied his menu, wondering why he'd looked embarrassed. Macs gaze wandered to his hands, he had nice hands she mused, strong hands but stopped herself before her mind could wander over those possibilities.

Toll kept finding his gaze drawn to her, they ate pretty much in silence, neither really having much to say. It was different she usually talked his ear off, which he found charming. He suddenly worried she was finding him boring, she hadn't said much, she hadn't even hardly looked at him.

Mac found the need to not speak nice, she didn't feel that strange need to always talk she usually felt around him at the moment. She knew he'd looked at her frequently but hadn't tried to start a conversation.

Toll continued the eat, thinking about his companion, he found himself wondering if they had anything in common. Certain she'd find him bookish and boring if she knew him, or worse if she really ever knew him she'd see him for the monster he was. That thought scared him, this friendship between them was becoming way to important to him.

When they finished eating she followed him to the counter, he reached in his pocket to grab his wallet but she was faster, grabbing the check out of his hand and handing it and some cash to the cashier. She turned and looked up at him, as the cashier got her change, he still had a surprised look on his face. She gave him a sly smile, laughing slightly, "you got breakfast," she said with a shrug her eyes twinkling, "so I'll get lunch, it's what friends do." She finished her smile getting brighter.

Toll stared at her, she looked adorable, sheepish actually and proud of herself. Friends, he thought, the word reminding him to hold back. That's what she wanted, friends. Pushing the slightly depressing thought away, he smiled at her.

When they left the restaurant, Toll headed overland leaving the ocean behind. He need to head back, not liking that he'd missed a meeting. But still he felt reluctant to let this day end, he might not have another day like this with her, he'd been grateful this morning at the gas station when Yang had announced he had something else to do. And even though Hale's eyes had conveyed plenty, he followed along behind Yang. Simply saying, "threes a crowd."

When Toll pulled into the gas station Mac was grateful, not use to riding on a motorcycle her thighs and butt hurt, she climbed off shaking her legs, and pulling off her helmet. Toll asked, "are you alright?" Looking slightly amused as she lifted her foot and shook one leg then the other. She looked up at him, her cheeks turning slightly red, "my ass hurts." Instantly concerned and embarrassed he should have thought she'd get uncomfortable. Her blush faded and on came a smile, "I'll be alright, I'm tuff." Giving him a reassuring smile, "I'm just going to walk." She said gesturing toward the picnic tables not far away. Toll put his card in the pump as he watched her walk off, she stopped leaning against one of the picnic tables. She had pulled out her phone and was now looking at it. She reached up and unzipped her jacket, with one hand and slid it off laying it on the picnic table behind her.

Toll watched the late afternoon sun play on her hair, making the red he'd noticed before brighter, the sight of her doing something to him. She looked up her green eyes catching his, smiled and looked back down at her phone. That smile and look reminded him of the first time he'd seen her.

Mac pulled her phone out, she'd missed five texts this afternoon all from Beth, one asking her to come visit. And four were pictures of her niece, she responded to Beth's text glancing over at Toll and catching his eye, then answered,

Sorry I just got your text I'm not in town. Mac

She actually was curious where they were exactly. She lost the thought when she got another text.

I figured you were busy when you didn't answer. You should feel extremely guilty Charlotte wants her auntie. Lol! Beth

Mac rolled her eyes she hated all the lol, omg, and brb shit. And she knew that's why Beth did it to her, she responded.

I can come over tomorrow. Mac

k! Beth

Mac looked up when a shadow fell over her, Toll stood there looking down at her, she smiled up at him, and said, "my sister in-laws been trying to get ahold of me."  
"Oh." He said hoping he wasn't keeping her away from something important. Mac watched him a moment and said, "she's just a little frazzled I think, she just had my niece." Handing her phone to him so he could see the picture. He took it and looked at the baby on the screen, she just looked like a baby to him, but he said what was always safe to say in this instance, "she's cute." Mac laughed drawing his attention back to her, "babies are very rarely cute, but I love her anyway." Toll couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction, most people only thought it, they never said it. "Don't ever tell Beth I said that, shed never forgive me." She said still laughing slightly. She took in his bemused expression, and said, "oh don't even try to tell me you didn't think it." He folded his arms over his chest, he couldn't help but tease her, "most people don't say it." He said smiling, she gave him a funny look trying to look offended, he grinned wider, "your bad." She held his gaze a moment longer, then said, "now I'm bad, I was a brat." He chuckled, "no, you're still a brat."

It wasn't long and they were back on the road, once Mac figured out where they were she knew they couldn't be more than twenty miles outside of the city. It made her slightly sad thinking her time with him was almost over, she had liked being with him just the two of them.

Toll reached back to steady her as she got off his bike, she pulled her helmet off and waited for him, to get off. He stopped at her house first, again Mac felt tiny standing there with him, the look in his eyes unsettling, she got the feeling he wanted to say something. She said, "thank you, I had a great time." For some reason him believing her became important.  
Toll studied her face but something in her almost hesitant and almost shy mannerisms told him she did, he felt his chest tighten again, it made him exceedingly happy. He said, "me too." His voice coming out ruff. Her gaze dropped to his lips, she focused on them. Needing to pull himself free of her, he said, "well Kamron Gloriana Sinclair, I have to meet somebody." Her eyes came back to his, her green eyes unsettling, why was she looking at him like that, he wondered for the second time today. Her smile when it came, causing his breath to falter, "alright, Garret Roads." She handed him the helmet and asked, "I'll see you soon?"

"ya," he answered, her smile broadened and she turned and walked toward her house, he just watched her, she'd never called him by his real name before and he found he liked the way it sounded, she looked over her shoulder as she reached the porch, a soft smile on her lips. She paused and looked at him a moment, then she turned and walked across her porch and opened the door disappearing into the house.

He stood there a moment longer than realized he'd been standing there like an idiot, instantly embarrassed he got on his bike and rolled out of her driveway, then fired it up balancing her helmet on his lap and drove to his house. A slight smile on his face, she'd managed to make him fall a little further, it didn't matter how stupid it might be, he couldn't change it. Just before he got to Barney's it dawned on him her door hadn't been locked.

It wasn't that late so Mac showered and got dressed then went to Liam and Beth's, when she walked in Liam asked arching his eyebrow, "and where have you been today?" She just arched her eyebrow right back and said, "what are you my keeper?" He folded his arms over his chest and gave her a look of authority "that depends."  
"Last time I checked twenty eight meant I didn't need a babysitter." Liam chucked, "alright, but I'm watching you." She laughed. Then saw Beth coming with Charlotte, reaching out she took her into her arms, thinking about her earlier conversation with Toll she actually did feel bad. But smiled anyway, her thoughts drifting to him momentarily, until Liam asked " what's that look for?" She gave him a sheepish smile and said, "wouldn't you like to know." She kissed Charlotte's head, then looked at her brother who was giving her a calculating look, he cocked his eyebrow again and said, "I reiterate, I'm watching you."  
Mac laughed and said, "whatever." Mac stayed at her brothers until after nine, Tess called Mac and ended up coming over also. Mac found herself at The Roadhouse that night, a big good ole southern boy hang out with its big dance floor, bar and constant supply of one night girls, in their short shorts and tight revealing shirts. Unfortunately it was the best place around to go dancing also.

Barney pulled into The Roadhouse he hated these kind of places, he still didn't know why his contact for their job wanted to meet here. Church had just told him to show up and what time, set down at the bar and his contact would find him.

Mac felt someone grab her arm she looked up to see Tess's friend Eric standing there, one of the few men here she'd dance with, she allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. Tip it back was playing and she loved that song, so she let him spin her around the dance floor.

Unfortunately the contact wasn't prompt, it gave him a lot of time to survey his surroundings. He couldn't help but notice the number of half dressed young women, if he had a daughter, she damn sure wouldn't be dressed like that, he thought. That's when he saw her at first in the crowd, simply because she had way more cloths on than most of the women present, but he wasn't sure, when the people standing around thinned out some he saw her. She was on the dance floor with some guy, dancing way closer than she should, considering she'd just spent the day with Toll. She was looking at the man with the same look he'd seen her use on his friend and the guy at the bar that night. He'd known there was something about her.

Toll had finally gotten home around midnight, noticing she wasn't home. He knew it was fruitless to think about her as anything but a friend, but it was difficult. Especially when she looked at him like she had today. Don't be stupid he kept telling himself.

Mac woke up early the next morning she hadn't slept well, tossing and turning throughout the night. She had though about him, not knowing what she was doing, every minute of their day running through her head over and over. She rolled over frustrated, thumping her fist into her pillow, she looked at her alarm clock, 5:15 ugh. She had gone out last night so she wouldn't dwell on it. Well it had been a colossal fail, she'd still been up all night! She set up and threw the blankets back, maybe a run would clear her head.


	12. Chapter 11

**I hold it up and show my buddies**

**Like we ain't scared and our boots ain't muddy**

**And they all laugh like there's something funny**

**'bout the way I talk, when I say mama sends her best ya'll**

**I fold it up and put it in my shirt**

**Pick up my gun and get back to work**

**And it keeps me drivin' on, waitin' on**

**Letters from home - John Michael Montgomery **

* * *

Toll found himself thinking of a simpler time, a time he'd just been a young man with faith in the world, when he'd believed in the good of mankind and the flag on his shoulder had meant something. He remembered the morning he'd left to enlist like it was yesterday, his mother had cried, his father shook his hand. He'd been nervous, unsure if he had made the right choice for his life. Worried about the days ahead, Fort Benning had turned him into a man. His young mind had romanticized going into service, he'd gone away a boy expecting to come home a conquering hero. But the realities of war had changed him, slowly eroding his faith, he became desensitized to death and pain. And it had opened his eyes to evils of man. He'd felt nothing like a conquering hero when he'd finally came home. His experiences had destroyed his innocence, and made him feel empty, so the transition to Mercenary had been easy.

Sometimes, he'd give almost anything to change that part of his past, to go back to the man he'd been before he took that first life, it had killed something inside of him. It hadn't been a clean kill and the man, a boy really, younger than he'd been himself, had held his eyes. Toll had been unable to look away, while the life left him. He'd never forget that moment as long as he lived. He thrown up, and later that night cried in himself to sleep. He wouldn't however change the choice to go, just change the effect it had on him if he could. But nothing could have prepared him for the reality.

Really the only thing that kept him going were the letters from his mom. He hadn't felt so scared when he'd read them. She had unselfishly and unwittingly given him all her strength and faith, sometimes carrying him even thought oceans separated them. She'd died by the time he came back, nothing in his life had ever been the same.

He wondered what Mac would have thought of him then, in those days before his life had become what it became. Would she have wanted his friendship? Another stupid thought. He hated this, the way she made him feel, she made him think about how different his life could have been. The way she looked at him two days ago still fresh in his mind. He couldn't stop the fall he found himself taking, as much as he knew that, he also knew it would hurt when he stopped.

He'd spent the better part of yesterday helping the guys get things ready to go. It hadn't stopped the memories of her from the previous day, they kept coming back. The feel of her close to him, or the sound of her laughter, that sheepish grin at the restaurant, but mostly it couldn't stop the memory of that look. Just the memory of it made his chest tighten. He'd hoped he'd see her again before he left, he'd seriously contemplated stopping and seeing her this morning, he wanted her to know he'd be back soon. He dismissed the idea the moment he'd had it, what would be the point. She wasn't his and she never would be.

He shoved his melancholy thoughts aside, and concentrated on checking his gear. They'd be in Brazil soon, he couldn't spend anymore time thinking about her.

Mac leaned back looking at her computer, this lemon law thing was a pain in the ass. This time, the problem apparently was the heads, she had decided it might be easier to just trade it in, when she got it back. She hated to make it someone else's problem but she might not have a choice. The dealership wasn't helpful, they gave her the run around, they didn't want to have to absorb the remainder of her debt. Which they would if they took the car back. She really didn't understand it, it would be a tax deduction for them. Ugh, the drive to Lafayette on Saturday would cost three times as much in Liam's truck.

When Mac got home that night, she checked to see if his truck was home, day two since she'd seen it there and day three since she'd seen him. She wished she could understand what it was about him that made her act this way. She felt more like the heroin in that romance novel than ever. She kinda had begun to think she missed him, dumb that's what it was. Frustrated with herself she pulled in and shut Liam's truck off, pulling the keys out, then opened the door, and got out.

She needed to leave this strange mood behind. She walked across the yard and went inside, kicking off her heels by the door she headed to the kitchen. Opening the fridge she pulled out a Budweiser opening it, she went back to the livingroom. Walked over and turned on the television. Top Gear came on, that would at least make her feel better. Mac curled up on the couch with Goose, last thing she remembered she was dozing off to Kid Rock driving their Suzuki.

Over the next few days she managed to push him to the back of her mind, but never completely out. She told herself they were just friends, ignoring that nagging little voice that kept reminding her, a friend didn't wonder how their friends lips would feel.

Mac woke up early Saturday morning, and got in the shower wondering if he'd gotten back yet.. She had spent an unhealthy amount of the time the last five days thinking about him. She didn't think about the fact that her over abundant interest, contradicted their friend status. She told herself it was normal, just regular curiosity. She had spent sometime contemplating his many absences lately, she wanted to know more about what he did. But most of all, she just wanted to see him. It had been a week today since she had, she still felt warm when she thought about him, he'd been so... Stop it, she told herself.

She stepped out of the shower wrapped her hair and dried off, then wrapped a towel around her body. Walking into her bedroom, she grabbed the white dress with the large floral print off her chair, she pulled off her towel and got dressed.

When she was all ready she looked in the mirror running her hands down the white dress covered in large black daisies, she pulled down on the high waist adjusting it, then did the same with square neck line and capped sleeves, she checked her low off-center bun and grabbed the lavender colored cardigan off her bed.

They'd gotten home late Friday night, late enough to technically be Saturday morning. He woke up early like normal and could have fallen back to sleep but he wanted to see her. So he drug his exhausted ass out of bed, hoping if he ran, he'd happen to run in to her. He knew it was stupid but he couldn't help it. He'd thought about her frequently, Caesar had helped that particular problem, bringing her up often. He felt like telling him, he didn't need any help obsessing over her at the moment.

Mac saw him out the window, he's back! She thought, not caring to examine why she felt so much happiness, she rushed to the door and opened it slightly, pausing a moment. She took a deep breath and reached down, brushing the wrinkles out of her dress. She took another deep breath and stepped outside. She saw his smile even from a distance an answering one sneaking onto her face.

Toll watched her, she looked adorable, he'd never seen her in a dress, it made his smile broaden.

Mac watched him, walking toward her, she started walking to the end of the driveway. But stopped when he got close enough she could see the look he gave her. She knew she blushed and for a moment looked anywhere but at him.

Tolls eyes travelled over her, her knee-length skirt and classic cut of her dress, would make you think she might be headed off to a church picnic. The thought made him smile even more, she looked innocent, that thought made his gut clench. Innocence, could be dangerous at least in his experience. He watched her blush and demurely look away, unknowingly playing along with his present fantasy. Her eyes slowly came back to him, her smile, the only word to describe it being sweet, made him feel ten feet tall for some reason.

Mac felt a little shaky when she looked back up at him, she'd had to get her bearings or she was going to embarrass herself. She smiled happy to see him, regardless of her discomfort. "You're back" she said a smile in her voice. He nodded, her eyes traveled over his face. Clasping her wrists behind her back, she studied him a moment longer, a slight smile on her face, her bright eyes on him.

Toll watched her closely, the light in her eyes, changing, dancing really, he suddenly realized she was happy to see him. The thought having a powerful effect on him.

He realized he been to busy with his own thoughts too answer her, he gave her a lopsided grin, "going to a church picnic?" He asked teasing her. Really just wanting to know where she was going looking like that. She gave him a shy smile, stepped back crossing one leg behind the other, she curtsied and said, "nope, off to caterer to southern royalty," a laugh in her voice. Popping back up from her curtsy, she batted her eyes lashes at him and laughed.

He watched her, arms folded over his chest, that lopsided grin on his face, enchanted yet again. "Do I pass muster, you think?" She said with a cheeky grin. He made an amused noise, and nodded, "ya I think you got it," he answered amusement in his voice.

Mac watched him, a bright smile appearing on her face, at his answer. She bit her lower lip slightly, an unsettling silence settled around her as he continued to look at her. He made her feel so tiny and feminine, the thought making her feel warm.

She impulsively asked, "what are you thinking?" With a faint smile, trying to shake off that warm liquid feeling she had settling inside her, from the look in his eyes.

Toll shook his head his lopsided smile turning into a grin, "I think as charming as you are at the moment, you'll have them all eating out of the palm of your hand." She gave him an innocent look, "you think I'm charming?" But her innocent look was just a little to mischievous, making him think of that old saying, 'like the cat that ate the cream'

He threw his head back and laughed, the sound coming from deep down in his chest. When he looked back at her, he shook his head, his eyes full of amusement.

She arched her eyebrow folded her own arms over her chest, giving him a dirty look, "I think I might be offended!" She exclaimed, eyes twinkling.

He laughed again, folding his arms over his chest and said, "you know your charming."

She gave him another dirty look, trying to look offended and said, "your mean."

He laughed again, watching her eyes dance, "how am I mean, I just told you what you wanted to hear?" She shook her finger at him, her eyes twinkling, "ya but it is how you said it." They both laughed, he shook his head, he bet she could charm anyone if she wanted too. When she stopped laughing she held his gaze, her eyes becoming more serious, she said, "I have to get going." He didn't say anything, he wished this wasn't it. Her eyes drifted to his lips, god help her, she'd thought about those lips so much. She took a shaky breath, "I have to go to Lafayette." She said, her eyes slowly coming back to his. He nodded, his eyes holding hers, " alright," he said.

Mac watched him walk off, she wished she knew when she'd see him again, the thought becoming very important, she said, "Toll." He turned looking back at her, "ya?" He asked. She took a shaky breath, not certain what to say, her eyes travelled to his. She wanted to ask him if he was gonna be home a while, she wanted to know when she'd see him again, she wanted to know she'd see him again before he left but said, "I'll see you, soon." She was doing it again, her gaze hesitant almost shy, he liked that look too much. After a moment he found his voice "ya." She awarded him for his answer, with a bright happy smile. His eyes held hers, that happy smile making his body tense, he needed to get away from her before he did something stupid, he nodded and said, "I'll see you soon Mac." He turned and walked off a second time.

Mac watched him a moment, struggling with herself, she had no way off knowing when she'd see him again, for some reason that thought became important. She didn't even allow her next thought to fully process, she said "wait." He turned and looked at her, a surprised look on his face, "ya?" He asked. She walked toward him, nervous not wanting to meet his eyes. She stopped about three feet away, her eyes came to his.

Toll watched expectantly, all of her humor from moments ago gone. He could see her discomfort, her cheeks grew a little red, when her eyes met his, she looked unsure. "Would you maybe want to go hiking tomorrow." She paused a moment her eyes traveling over his face, then coming back to his, "if you don't have anything to do, you could come with me." The invitation nearly rendered him speechless, he watched her closely. He had to remind himself this was only the friend thing talking, it was the only thing it could be, "I'd like that." She smiled slowly, "good, how's seven-thirty?"

Mac thought for half a second he might say no, the way he looked at her after she'd asked, well she didn't know what to make of it. Surprise and something else, she couldn't name. She hadn't been prepared for his reaction, it made her doubt herself more. She'd hadn't known how much she wanted him to say yes until after he did.

Barney set on a stool a Tools watching Toll, he had decided to make a habit of watching Toll Road, he'd paid careful attention the last few days for any signs or anything that would give him a clue, to how the water lay with that girl. One word had kept coming from his friends mouth, friends, but he didn't look or act like a man with friendship on his mind. He'd known the moment Road drove into Tools shop today, that something was up. He'd been grinning obviously thinking about something private. Barney felt absolutely certain, it had something to do with that girl.

Once Mac got in Liam's truck and headed for Layfette, a sort of panic set in, she started questioning her motives. It had been, yet again another impulsive move, he seemed to do that to her. Shaking her head she decided she wasn't going to worry about it.

Toll showed up at her door at almost seven-thirty exactly, she'd been ready and anxiously waiting for him for a half hour, she'd woke up feeling anxious. But refused to examine why, telling herself they were just friends. Macs heart had skipped a beat when she heard the knock, she grabbed her water bottle off the island, took a deep breath and walked to the door. Telling herself to calm down, she looked down at Goose who was dancing happily along beside her, anticipating a ride. She'd decided not to take him today, and said, "I'm sorry little man, you can't come but I'll take you for a long walk when I get back."

Mac reached out and opened the door, he was facing the road, he turned slowly looking down at her a smile on his face. Mac instantly noticed the dark stubble on his jaw, a smile spreading across her face, she'd always liked a man with five o'clock shadow. finding her voice after a moment, she asked "Are you ready?"

Toll knocked on Macs door, he reached up his hand rubbing his stubble, slightly embarrassed he'd forgotten to buy razors. He knew this wasn't a date but still, he felt clean-shaven was appropriate. But the look in her pretty eyes when she'd seen it made him glad he'd forgotten those razors, he usually never knew for certain what she was thinking but that look made him think she just might like it.

Toll watched Mac out the corner of his eye, she hadn't said much to say since they'd left her house. Just telling him they were heading two hours away, and asking him if he needed to stop at a store or anything other than that conversation was minimal. He didn't ask where they were going, just decided he'd let it be a surprise.

Concentrating on the road, she drove with one hand on the shifter, one hand on the steering wheel, like she anticipated her next shift even after they left city traffic behind. He could tell she liked driving this truck, she was aggressive, keeping the turbo spooled. It made a faint smile tug at his lips. She glanced over at him catching him watching her, a smile on her face, then looked back at road.

Mac watched him covertly, as he got ready to hit the trail, neither of them had said much on the way here. He looked really good this morning, his grey t-shirt stretched tight across his chest, dark stubble on his jaw, she felt her stomach flutter, he was so impossibly attractive. She suddenly felt the need to talk, uncomfortable with her thoughts, she quickly pushed the thought away. She liked the silence, even if she did find it somewhat unsettling by times.

She grabbed her camelback, and focused on putting it on. She felt her stomach flutter again, thinking about him, her cheeks flushed, she turned away so he wouldn't glance up and see her. She took a deep breath, and tamped down the inconvenient feelings. She'd invited him here as a friend, drooling wasn't a good idea.

Toll looked up, she was putting on her camelback, his eyes slowly travelled over her, she turned around, her back to him. Her silence on the way here, and the fact he knew she'd been watching him moments ago, made him wish he knew what might be going on in her head. But decided instead, to focus on his curiosity about where they were. It was obvious they weren't on Park lands of any sort. There were no marked paths off the clearing, just game trails, and a couple ATV trails.

They'd left the main roads behind a half hour ago, following a maze of twisting dirt road to get here. When they pulled off the main road she'd just looked over at him and smiled. His curiosity grew, the farther they'd gone down dirt roads but he hadn't asked any questions.

Her attention came back to him, she smiled and asked, "are you ready?" He held her gaze a moment, then smiled faintly, "ya, where are we?" She smiled making her way toward him, "this land belongs to my friend Tess's dad." She said still smiling, "and we are on a scouting trip." He looked down at her, curious he asked, "and what are we scouting?" Her smile broadened, eyes twinkling she answered, "the elusive Louisianan whitetail."

He felt himself grin as he looked down at her, not really understanding why he felt surprised yet again, by something she did. He asked as she stepped around him and headed toward a game trail near by, "you hunt?"

Mac heard his question, noting the surprise in his voice, she laughed. "Ya a bit, not as much as Liam though." She glanced back at him, then turned around walking backwards, she smiled and said, "well come on, we got ground to cover." He watched her a moment, a slight grin on his face, then followed her.

They fell into a comfortable silence as they walked, she'd point something out every so often but she mainly focused on the area around them. He got the feeling she didn't miss much, taking her task seriously. It had been a longtime since he'd gone scouting a potential hunting ground. The normalcy of this excursion took him back to a different time, and brought a smile to his lips. If he'd led a different life, he'd still do stuff like this. But somehow hunting people had made killing animals lose it's appeal. He saw quite enough bloodshed with his work.

They entered a small clearing about an hour later, she turned and smiled at him, a slightly surprised look on her face like maybe she'd forgotten about him. He smiled at her expression, "forgot about me, did ya?" He teased. Her smile broadened, "maybe" she said sheepishly. "You just have so much to say." She continued teasingly, her eyes twinkling. He shook his head, "you've usually got enough to say for both of us." He said, trying to look severe. She just laughed, then asked, "are you ready for a break?" As she unbuckled the straps on her camelback, pulling it off, then removing her thin gray hoodie. She looked up at him expectantly, then set down on her hoodie she'd discarded on the ground. Her attention going back to her camelback, she unzipped it and pulled out a protein bar.

He took of his backpack and set down also.

She surprised him when a moment later she asked, "where are you from?" Her gaze came to his, her eyes curious, she smiled. "Just outside of Detroit." He answered, then took a drink from the water bottle he'd just pulled out of his bag. She nodded a slight smile on her face, "motor city. Nice."

They set in silence for a while, when Mac finished her protein bar and water, she flopped herself back on the grass. She looked over at him, her hand coming up to shield her eyes from the sun. He was watching her, Macs eyes travelled over his face, settling on his lips. "What was Detroit like as a kid?" She asked her eyes coming back to his.

He faintly smiled, "alright." Liking her sudden curiosity about where he was from, more than he should.

"Just alright? I'd think it would be every boys dream." She said looking away.

Smiling again, he asked, "and whys that?"

"Oh ya know, the big three and car museums, drag strips, the hemi, more horsepower has come out of that city than anywhere else in the states."

He found himself chuckling, she was an odd little thing, "there's that I guess. How was Boston?"  
She set up and looked at him, arching an eyebrow, and looking mischievous. "Well it's not Detroit," she answered and laughed, then said, "it was cool. Lots of history, lots of drunk Irishmen." Her eyes drifted to his lips again, her smile fading momentarily, when her eyes came back to his, she said, "ya I loved it."

She looked away again, He knew he shouldn't set here and stare at her, but he couldn't help it. She was just so different then what he'd originally thought, if anyone had ever told him, she'd be this girl, he'd of said they were nuts. She looked completely at home, setting here in the middle of this field, scouting to see how plentiful the whitetail population was in the area. The thought did something to him, pulled at something inside him. He knew he was in trouble, she made him feel things.

Mac stood up pulling his thoughts back to the present, she brushed herself off and asked, "are you ready?" He stood smiling at her, "sure." He answered.

They headed back to where they'd parked, when they got back to the truck she looked at him and smiled, "thanks, for coming with me by the way, Liam would have had a fit if I came out here alone." He smiled, he could understand that, he wouldn't want her way out here alone either, "no problems," then added, his voice lower, "I wouldn't want you out here alone either." Macs smile faded, her eyes drifted to his lips, when her eyes came back to his they held that same soft look she'd given last weekend. He stared at her, then she abruptly turned and watched her walk around the truck, taking off her camelback she didn't look at him again until they got in, and that look had been hesitant.

Get ahold of yourself Mac thought to herself, if you don't this is gonna be a long two hours back. The things he sometimes said to her and the way he put them, no matter how innocently meant had an effect on her. In her experience most men, didn't say stuff like that or thought past themselves enough to care if you liked where they took you, or worry about your safety. He was different, he was a gentlemen.

By the time the hit the main road, she'd managed to gain some composure. She took a deep breath glad to see black top again, she asked, "are you hungry?" Determined to not let her over active nerves get the better of her. "I could eat," he replied. She glanced over at him quickly, then asked, "burgers or pizza?"  
"Burgers." He answered after a moment, Mac hazard another glance in his direction, "does that work for you?" He asked. She smiled, "that would have been my choice."

A few minutes later they pulled into a small burger joint in a backwoods Louisiana town, Mac watched him waiting for his reaction, barely able to contain her laughter, he looked slightly nonplussed. Toll looked around at the people setting outside at tables eating and said, "I really see now, why your brother doesn't want you out here alone." Taking in the ruff element. She busted up laughing, "right, my thoughts exactly. All that's missing is the kid with banjo. Don't worry honey I'll protect your virtue." Toll looked at her a moment, surprised by her Deliverance reference, but she was right. He tried to look serious, but it didn't work. "Your bad." He said chuckling.

Barney reached out and grabbed his beer, then glanced over a Tool. The others had just left Tools, after a moment he asked, "has anyone heard from Road today?" Tool shook his head, "I don't know, I haven't." Barney already knew where he was, the same place he always was lately he bet. Tool watched him a moment thoughtfully, then said, "he's probably with Mac." Barney nodded, "that's what bothers me." Tool looked at him confused and asked "why?" After a lengthy pause he said, "I saw her out with another guy, last Saturday after Toll dropped her off." Tool nodded and after a moment asked, "where?"  
"The Roadhouse. There she was on the dance floor hanging all over someone else."  
"Are you sure it's what you thought."  
"The girls a flirt."  
"What are you going to do?" Tool asked, waiting for a reply.  
"I don't know, he says their just friends but he doesn't act like that's what he's got on his mind." After a lengthy pause Tool said, "well brother, I think you should leave it be."  
"And let her fuck him up."  
"Did it ever occur to you she might like him. I wasn't at the Roadhouse but I've seen them together, she's interested." When Barney didn't say anything Tool continued, "what does it hurt anyway, a little female attention might do him some good. I'd stay out of it. I doubt Road would appreciate it if you got involved."

Mac left the bathroom and made her way back across the restaurant, he had a bevy of admirers setting at a table, close by. She smiled slightly, she bet he wasn't aware of his growing fan club. The newest member being the chubby little middle-aged waitress that was presently, delivering their drinks. She was smiling brightly at him and batting her eye lashes, looking at him appreciatively and he didn't even seem to notice. Just politely excepted his drink and smiled. She liked that about him, the fact that he was seemingly unaware of his own appeal, or the female attention he got. It was defiantly a change from most of the men she knew. She set down at the table, a faint smile on her face, she settled in and then met his gaze.

They walked out of restaurant about forty minutes later, he'd insisted on paying the bill this time, telling their waitress to ignore the cash Mac tried to hand her. Mac surprised him when she asked, "will you drive?" Toll looked at her surprised and said, "if your brother wouldn't mind me driving his truck, sure." Mac smiled, "he wouldn't care and I'm tired." She tossed him the keys and waited for him to unlock the doors, then got in. He asked as he was backing out, "where's your car anyway?"

" The shop.." She said glancing over at him, as he started driving off.

"You just got it back."

"Ya I know, it's a lemon, last time it need tranny work, this time the heads were bad."

Toll looked at her surprised, Subaru's were generally decent cars, "you have bad luck."

"Tell me about it, I've had that car two years, it's been in the shop eight times. So I'm thinking it's time to get rid of it, and I think Liam's getting sick of me borrowing his truck." The last she said with a laugh. Toll glanced over at her, she was looking out the window, "if you need a ride or anything let me know."

She looked over at him and smiled faintly, a warm feeling settling in the pit of her stomach, here he was being a gentleman again. "you aren't the most reliable transportation, you're never around."

He looked back over at her meeting her gaze for a moment, his eyes drifting to her lips, then looking back at the road, "oh, I think I might be around awhile this time." Barney had told them yesterday they weren't excepting any jobs for two maybe three weeks, he'd decided they all needed some downtime. Mac looked out the window to hide the huge smile that appeared on her face, that news making her happy indeed.

For some reason Toll wanted to know if the news he might be around awhile, made her happy, but she'd looked out the window.

He realized she'd fallen asleep a few minutes later, he reached out and shut off the ac on her side of the truck, not wanting her to wake up freezing. Then reached in back and grabbed her hoodie and laid it over her shoulder and chest as best he could with one arm while driving. A faint smile on his lips he watched her a moment, he felt himself slip a little further.

Mac woke up when the truck shut off, she opened her eyes and looked around, she looked over at him, her cheeks turning red. "I'm so sorry Toll," her voice incredulous. He smiled faintly, "it's alright, you said you were tired." He said as he opened the truck door and got out. Mac did likewise, then asked, "did I drool on the window?" Laughter in her voice, he walked around to her side of the truck his backpack in hand, "nope, but you were catching flies," he said amusement in his eyes. She looked away embarrassed, "that must have been cute," her voice full of laughter. He chuckled, "don't worry about it."

Mac looked down at the sweatshirt in her hand, then looked up at him and said, "you covered me up." Her eyes running over his face, he held her gaze a moment, his face turning slightly red. " ya," he said, "I didn't want you to get cold." Macs gaze dropped away from his, when her gaze slowly came back to his, her cheeks looked flushed, she had that soft look in her eyes. "Thank you, and thanks," she began looking away, then her eyes came back to his, "for spending the day with me, Garret." Her voice barely more than a whisper, she quickly looked away. The look in his eyes unsettling.

Toll stared down at her up turned face, his heart beat speeding up when her eyes came back to him, her cheeks flushed, her beautiful eyes filled with that soft look and then she'd whispered his real name, god help him he wanted to kiss her.


	13. Chapter 12

And, he seriously thought about it, she was so adorable, standing there looking up at him. All sleep ruffled, her cheeks flushed and slightly puffy, that soft look on her face and in her eyes. But he also knew she wouldn't welcome it, they were friends. His eyes settled on her lips. It took a will of iron to pull himself out of that snare, he turned his head taking a deep breath.

Mac looked up at him, her breath quickening, the intense look in his eyes she'd never seen before, she felt a shiver run over her skin. She couldn't look away, something about the look he'd given her, keeping her rooted to the spot. He held her gaze a moment more, his eyes drifted down settling on her lips, then he looked away.

Mac took a shaky breath, and gave herself a mental shake, holy shit, and what was that, were the only two thoughts she could form! Her eyes drifting to the ground.

One covert glance told him, she knew something had just passed between them. She looked even more flushed, her wide-eyed gaze focused on the ground, she looked confused? Maybe, he wasn't sure. "I'm gonna go." He said, his voice sounding gravelly. Mac gaze quickly travelled to his, then moved away as quickly as it came. "Alright." She said, sounding anxious. She turned not waiting for a reply and started walking toward the house. She heard his voice the texture low and gruff, "Kamron" the sound giving her chills. She nearly ignored it, pretended she didn't hear it but she stopped and turned around. He was closer to her then she realized, she didn't meet his gaze, instead focused on his stubble covered jaw. She vaguely registered, he was handing her something, "keys."He said wanting her to look at him, he got what he wanted but only for a second, then her gaze travelled back to his outstretched hand. The feel of his long fingers brushing hers, made her already frazzled nerves go more crazy. She snatched her hand back and turned hurrying toward the house, she glanced back when she reached the door but he was gone.

Toll unlocked his door thinking about her scurrying off toward the house, he'd thought for a moment she'd felt it also. The way she'd looked at him, he hadn't realized till now how much he wanted her to see him as more than a friend, he wanted her to see him as a man. He wanted her to want him, to feel the same things he felt but he knew she never would. The way she looked at him just now, someone needed to tell her not to look at a man like that. What the fuck is wrong with you? He said to himself, she's you're friend, besides she'd never want you that way.

Mac closed her door, then leaned her back against it, closing her eyes tightly. Holy hell, her mind screamed, what was that? A faint blush stained her cheeks as she got a flash of him staring down at her. He'd..no... He'd looked like a man... no... Yes, yes, he did, he looked like... The thought made her shiver.

Yet again after spending the better part of a day with him, she was out of here. She stayed home long enough to change into cut off shorts and a blue and grey affliction tank top, she grabbed a pair of sandals, and loaded Goose in Liam's truck. As she backed out of her driveway, she thought, where's Jake when I need him.

Toll shook off his thoughts and decided to concentrate on something besides her. He needed to move his gun safe and ammo locker, into another room of the house, he pulled out his phone and texted Caesar, he was going to need help. Then walked across the living-room and down the hall, opening the door to room where he kept his gear. He suddenly saw her setting in the middle of that clearing, listing off the reasons Detroit would be a cool place to grow up, it caused a faint smile to tug at his lips, he was in trouble and he knew it.

Twenty minutes later Hale showed up, Toll had managed to get a six-foot section of stainless steel shelving cleaned off and out-of-the-way, so they could fit the locker and safe through the door. Hale just walked inside, not bothering to knock, that could be life threatening for men off their profession but Toll knew it was him before Hale hollered, "where are you?" He'd heard his bike pull up.  
"Back here." He answered, moving some stuff into the other room. He walked back out the door to see his large friend standing there. Hale grinned at him and asked, "its kind of late to start this project isn't it." Toll knew it was late but the other option was setting here agonizing over her, in his opinion this would be the better choice.

Mac walked into Liam's telling herself nothing had just happened, and literally nothing had! Determined to beat her own imagination, she told herself, he was a friend. Funny how that word didn't have the effect on her nerves she'd hoped, especially when she thought about how he'd looked at her, the thought make her body feel warm all over. That thought coupled with the fact he'd done a ridiculously sweet thing, by covering her up when she fell asleep and she couldn't even think straight.

Toll and Hale moved his gun safe, on rollers across the room and down the hall. He was glad Caesar had been around, he could have moved the 1000 pound safe on his own the same way but it would have sucked. Hale hadn't questioned him once about his whereabouts today, which Toll found slightly surprising, he knew he'd get there eventually though.

Hale was presently moving one of the rollers to the front of the safe, that Toll was pushing when he finally asked, "so where's your girl this afternoon?" And there it was Toll thought, he met his eyes over the top of the safe, his question poking at Tolls insecurity. "Shes not my girl" he stated flatly. Hale gave him an amused look, "ok, I'll believe that, but only because your to chicken shit to ask her." The safe had just slid off another roller, which Hale was to busy being amused with himself to notice. Toll said sarcastically, "hey genius, you need to come grab this roller." Hale gave him an amused look, as he walked toward him. Toll pushed the piece of PVC pipe they were using as a roller toward him with his foot, Hale bent down to pick it, when he stood back up he said, "alright, change the subject, but it doesn't change the fact you're a chicken."

They made it clear into the room with the safe, before Hale started in again, "so you were with her most of the day." It might have sounded like a question, but it wasn't a question, Toll had no desire to confirm or deny Hale's words, so instead he asked. "Since when did, where I am or am not, become so important?" Hale laughed at the tone of his voice, then replied "since you started disappearing for hours at a time." Not matter how uncomfortable he might be talking about her at the moment, he still found Hale's present demeanor funny. "Holy shit! Gunnar's right, you do act like a women." He said laughing. Hale tried to look offended but failed his eyes full of amusement. Toll continued with a chuckle, "well I guess everyone's gotta be right once and awhile, even Gunnar." Then asked "so what are you doing with your downtime?"  
"Finding myself a pretty little señorita and relaxing." Hale replied.

Mac set at the dining room table holding Charlotte, or "Charlie" as she'd been dubbed. Watching Beth across the table, Liam was helping a friend fix his truck this afternoon. Apparently his friend Eric's truck broke down and he need a rescue so when Mac had arrived, Beth had been happy to see her. She'd been trying to pay bills and hold the baby. Beth said, "I'm so glad you stopped by." Mac glanced down at Charlie who was presently sleeping and smiled. "Me too." She said, her gaze coming back to Beth, who was filling out a check, Beth asked her, "what have you been up to today?" Macs felt her cheeks reddened slightly, she looked down at Charlie, "I went out to Tess's dad property." She answered truthfully, her eyes coming back to Beth, who was giving her a skeptical look, "tell me you didn't go out there alone?" She answered "No, I didn't." Beth gave her an expectant look waiting for her Mac to tell her more, Mac just smiled knowing what Beth wanted but said "the deer are plentiful."

Toll ran the next morning after a sleepless night, of tossing and turning, he done pretty well not thinking about her until he gone to bed. Even though when he and Hale had showed up at the bar last night, Gunnar had told Amber when she'd started hitting on him, "your barking up the wrong tree, sweets, he's taken. I guess that means your stuck with me."

But a lot later at night, once he'd gone to bed, found himself wondering what her reaction would have been if he'd done it. Just bent down and brushed his lips against hers, he'd thought about every possible reaction. The one ending in a slap, the one ending up with her in his arms, the one ending with her breathless, and the one ending in bed. When he got to that one, he realized how pathetic this whole thing was. But it still didn't stop him from wondering how she tasted and what her lips would feel like moving against his. Friends... He was starting to hate that word.

Confused. That would be the word to describe Macs present state. She felt certain she could come up with a few other choice words also. Words were something she had used often in life, like most people she labeled and talked about things. So her current label for herself would be confused.

Despite her best effort, that look he gave her yesterday, she found burned into her brain. She'd spent yet another sleepless night, thinking about him and the other Label that weighed heavy on her mind, friend. She could tell herself he was in the friend zone all she wanted but it just confused her more. And frankly confused wasn't something she could be today, she had a stack of papers on her desk and her books, all of which needed her attention. She'd stayed home today to do specifically that; no more thinking about Toll.

Toll didn't see her on his run this morning, he'd been hoping that he would. He knew how incredibly stupid it was but he couldn't help it. The more time he spent around her, the more he wanted to spend time with her. Again, he thought back to yesterday, oddly enough it wasn't his desire to kiss her, or that look she'd given him, it was the entire day, or at least the part he'd spent with her.

It never went good when she got behind on her books, and she had managed to get a full month behind, she usually avoided it at all costs. Quick books really wasn't quick at least in her opinion, actually it wasn't bad. She just hated setting still, and concentrating wasn't easy, her mind kept drifting back to him.

Toll found himself sitting in an over stuffed chair in his therapists office, just talking, while she made notes. "Why don't we talk about this Mac you mentioned?" Dr. Morgan asked, the question surprising him, he didn't realize he'd mentioned her. He abruptly met her eyes, slightly embarrassed. He had no idea what to say, Dr. Morgan just watched him patiently. "She's my new neighbor" he answered. He watched Dr. Morgan write something down, probably that Mac was a girl. Her eyes came back to him, Toll knew what she wanted, so he took a deep breath and continued.

Toll walked out of his psychiatrists office feeling good, it had been a while a long while since he'd been here. Dr. Morgan had been great as always, he'd talked about Mac, he hadn't intended to but he hadn't been able to help it, once she'd asked. He didn't talk about his attraction to her, just about her. She knew his propensity to avoid people and situations, so she advised him not to avoid the girl and that he needed to remember valuing himself as a person and a man was most important and that he should not shut himself off from her. She asked if he felt they had a friendship? He'd been surprised when he found he could answer yes and so had doctor Morgan. She encouraged him to forge ahead in their friendship, certain it would do him good. She had also told him he had made great progress and she as always suggested he make a values list. He hadn't felt the need to do that for a longtime.

He hadn't however told Dr. Morgan that he'd spent half the night fantasizing about kissing her, and all the ways she could have responded, all of them scary on one level or another. From there he went to the library; his confidence bolstered, he found his good mood stuck with him.

It was two days before Mac saw him again, two confusing days, but she was still happy when she saw him. She watched him he hadn't seen her yet, running toward her with his head down. She stopped and waited for him, a smile tugging at her lips, he looked up meeting her gaze. Mac felt her stomach flutter, she chose not to question the strange feeling settling over her, she'd wanted to see him for two days.

Toll looked up and saw her standing their, an almost smile on her lips, his chest instantly tightened. He'd been waiting for this moment, anticipating it and dreading it. He had wanted to see her, he'd been afraid of how she'd react, she nearly ran from him two days ago, He reminded himself.

He watched her smile broaden and felt an answering one, of his own sneak across his face.

He stopped running and walked the last few feet, Mac held his gaze, he came to a stop in front of her, looking down at her. Mac once again felt tiny, her eyes travelled over his face, "good morning Garrett."

He stopped walking and held her gaze a moment, smiling down at her. Then she said his name, her voice coming out breathy, her smile changing, turning almost sweet. The pressure in his chest grew, and his pulse sped up, Toll held her eyes a moment more, "good morning Kamron" he said.

Mac noted the deeper than normal timber of his voice, the sound making a chill slither over her skin and making her feel warm, a slight blush spread across her cheeks. "What have you been up to?" She asked.

He felt a smile tug at his lips, easy, he had to remind himself. The look on her face reminding him of a recent sleepless night he'd spent. He really didn't know how to answer, so he said "not much." Not wanting to tell her he'd spent an hour yesterday with his shrink. Her eyes slid to his lips, for a moment her blush deepened slightly. He folded his arms over his chest, then asked "what about you?"

Macs eyes slid to his mouth, instantly thinking... She swallowed redirecting her thoughts. She felt her blush deepen, she pulled her eyes back to his when he asked "what about you?" A smile tugging at her lips once again, she answered "I spent six hours on quick books on Monday and yesterday I picked up my car."

Mac walked into her house thinking about how he always answered questions short and sweet. A man of few words, her reminded her of that old rhyme. A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds. He certainly wasn't a man of words and as much as it had made her uncomfortable in the past, she found she liked it. Most people talked a good game but when push came to shove that's all they did. He was different, his action spoke about the kind of man he was. Attentive, gentlemanly, sweet, all of that aside there was something more, and that something that was the real problem, it made her... She didn't know how to put it, she just knew, the man himself was where the real danger lay. It's what made her attraction continue to grow.

She was in the shower when the phone rang, she reached up and turned the shower head toward the wall, then leaned out of the shower and grabbed her phone off the sink. Liam the screen said, she swiped the screen.

"No," She answered a smile in her voice.

"Yes." He replied laughter in his voice. She laughed and asked her voice laced with mock irritation, "what do you want?"

Liam said his voice full of amusement, "fine then, never mind."

Mac laughed, "what's up brother? I'm actually in the shower."

He laughed again, "so how was the deer population?"

Mac smiled thinking about Toll for a moment then answered, "well I didn't see any deer but I saw plenty of sign, their defiantly around."

"Good, we are leaving tomorrow night." They didn't usually do opening weekend, this was odd. "Um, ok." She said

"Does that work?" He asked.

"I guess but I'll call you later, I'm gonna finish my shower now."

"Who'd you take out there with you anyway?" Liam asked ignoring her words, "Beth said you'd gone and that you didn't go alone." Mac remained quiet and Liam said, "ha, I knew it."

"Shut up!" She said and hung up on him.


	14. Chapter 13

**Turn the quiet up, turn the noise down**  
**Let this ol' world just spin around**  
**I wanna feel it swing, wanna feel it sway**  
**And put some feel good in my soul**  
**Drink a little drink, smoke a little smoke**

**Want a little more right, and a little less left**  
**Little more right now, a little less what's next**  
**Act like tomorrow's ten years away**  
**And just kick back and let the feelin' flow**  
**Drink a little drink, smoke a little smoke- Eric Church**

* * *

Mac got out of the shower chewing on her bottom lip, the thought had entered her head as soon as she'd gotten off the phone with Liam. But asking him to keep her keys while she was away, in case of an emergency seemed a little thin. She just wanted him to know where she was, and she wanted to see him. They'd be gone until Sunday night, and... Oh shut up, she told herself! It would be perfectly rational to want someone to have keys to her house, anything could happen and he would be the more practical choice, he lived near by, unlike Beth or Tess who both lived across town. She ignored that voice that questioned, "friends huh?" Having made up her mind, she proceeded to get ready for work.

Mac pulled into her yard after work noticing there were a bunch of bikes at his house. She hadn't allowed herself to think about her rash decision of this morning, but the thought of going and finding him with the guys there felt slightly daunting. She waved when Hale stepped out of Tolls garage, he waved back. She really wasn't surprised when he came walking up her driveway as she got out of her car, this would be the third time he'd come visiting. But she didn't mind she found she liked him, he was odd and amusing and he could also be rather charming if he wanted. "Hello!" He said looking like he was up to something as usual, she gave him a big smile and asked "what's up?"

"Thought I'd come over here, the scenery is way better." She laughed at his cheesy line, and asked "does that line ever work?"

"They all work," he informed her laughing. She watched him for a moment then laughed herself and said, "I'm going inside." She wasn't surprised yet again when he fell into step beside her. She just smiled at him, after they got inside he asked, "what do you think five or ten?" She gave him a confused look, smiling at his mischievous expression, and asked "five or ten what?" He laughed and answered "minutes before Toll Road walks through that door?" Her cheeks turned a little pink she knew but she met his gaze head on and said "I don't know what you're talking about."  
"Ya, you do!." His said his voice sounding amused and slightly accusing. Mac felt her cheeks flame, for no reason besides the look on his face and the way he said it. She shook her head, laughed and headed for the kitchen saying, "I am certain I do not know what you're implying." Hale gave a loud laugh as he followed her into the kitchen, "I'm going to say he'll be here in less than ten." Mac ignored him and watched across the kitchen, opening up the fridge, grabbing a water. She asked "do you want a one?"

About fifteen minutes later there was a knock on Macs front door, she and Hale were setting at the island talking, Hale said, "told you so." Mac got up and rolled her eyes smiling she said, "you said less than ten minutes and you don't even know it's him." Hale gave her a skeptical look as she stood, Mac felt herself blush and said in defense, "I have other friends." Hale laughed, "I'm sure you do but I bet you ten bucks it's him." Mac rolled her eyes and laughed. She turned and walked out of the room, she knew Hale was right, it was him.

Toll stepped into the garage and looked around, Hale wasn't there, he didn't need to have anyone tell him to know where he'd gone, Macs. He also knew he didn't have to go after him, Hale could go say hi if he wanted but the idea of his friend with her bothered him. He worried afraid what he might say, and how she'd take it. He could see Hale telling her all about what he thought he felt, which wasn't that far from being right so he followed apprehension twisting his gut.

Mac opened the door, and looked up at him, Hale instantly laughed and said "you owe me ten bucks!" Mac ignored Hale and smiled at Toll.

Tolls gaze shot past Mac to where Hale stood, his amusement with himself obvious. Toll instantly felt his ears redden, acute embarrassment setting in, he knew the 'you owe me ten bucks' statement somehow pertained to him.

Macs gaze turned to Hale, she gave him a dirty look, and he just laughed then said, "I think I'm wearing out my welcome." Mac arched her eyebrow at him, then turned her head her attention coming back to Toll, a faint smile tugged at her lips when she saw his embarrassed expression his gaze fixed on Hale.

She said "hey, I was going to come find you." Tolls gaze came back to her, the red slowly fading. Her gaze went back to Hale, she gave him an expectant look, his wolfish grin broadened and he said "well I guess I'll be going."

Toll watched Mac; wishing he knew what the ten bucks comment was about. He really wished Caesar didn't find all this so funny, that he'd just be more like the rest of the guys and leave it be.

Macs bright gaze came back to him, after Hale walked out. Her gaze traveled over his face, she smiled at him faintly, his face wasn't nearly as red as it had been but she could tell he felt embarrassed. Something told her if she didn't speak soon he'd leave, her quiet friend didn't do well with embarrassment. She'd like to strangle Hale, she knew he didn't really mean anything by it, he just liked irritating his friend but it still annoyed her.

She held his gaze for a moment trying to put him at ease, a smile spreading across her full lips, she began "I'm going out-of-town," her eyes traveling over his face then coming back to his eyes. "For four days, would you keep an eye on the place for me?"

Toll stood there looking at her, her smile as always putting him at ease, her eyes traveling over his face. He heard her question, it made him want to know where she was going and as stupid as it sounded happy because she asked him to watch her home. He nodded and answered with a slight smile, "I could do that."

Mac felt herself flush slightly, why did this always happen, she'd just asked him a simple question and the look her gave her and his chosen answer made her feel strange. Her eyes dropped from his gaze a moment then she said, "I could give you my number and maybe," her eyes slowly came back to his "my keys." His slight smile turned into a full on grin.

Toll left Macs and walked back to his house a grin on his face, she just had that effect on him. Even though he had to constantly remind himself, she only wanted his friendship, he stepped into his garage and found himself being greeted by Hale. "What she want to talk to you about?" his voice heavy with amusement and implication, Toll just stared at his friend, where he set on his bike, after a moment he replied his voice flat, "none of your business." He didn't feel the need to explain yet again and Hale laughed.

Barney stood leaning against the work bench by Lee, drinking a beer, he watched Toll a moment, again his misgivings about that girl coming to mind, Tool thought he should stay out of it and he'd decided to for now. He hoped for Roads sake he was wrong and what he'd seen wasn't what he'd thought.

* * *

They had left camp at first light, heading north. Mac focused on the area around her, settling into the zone. She knew if she wanted any hope of seeing any deer, she needed to break off from the group she travelled with. That included Tess, she knew why she'd come along she had a budding romance going on with Kyle but the girl wasn't a hunter, she made more noise than a bear. So Mac fell back letting the others pass her, and headed east. She meandered down a trail till she came to the clearing she'd brought Toll to, she climbed a well hidden ladder up a tree, she set down and waited. She set there close to an hour when she first heard it, she stood slowly and grabbed an arrow, stringing it. And waited until she saw antlers above the brush, she brought her bow up. He wasn't huge but respectable and about 50 yards away, she waited until he cleared the bushes, she pulled her arrow back, anchoring her hand, sighted in and released the arrow on her exhale, goose bumps rose on her arms. But the second she let her arrow fly, the buck swung around and ran back into the woods. Liam emerged from the bushes close by, laughing and said, "you aren't getting first kill." He purposefully startled her deer!

Mac cocked her eyebrow at him even though she knew he could see her, and said "you're an asshole." To that he just laughed so it became a game all day, and chastised her for cussing. from there the fun began, they hunted each other not the animals. By the time they finished messing around the others weren't hunting, and they were not impressed either. She wasn't the only one to get screwed out of a deer, Bryant also lost one. What these guys didn't get is this became a competition between Mac and Liam, it wasn't the first time one or the other had done something like this. It was all about first kill.

Long after the others left them and headed back to camp and they'd managed to scare every deer off within thirty miles they headed back to camp. They found themselves greeted by some rather unimpressed people. So that afternoon when the others went out she stayed at camp, along with Tess, it was nice she hadn't spent much time with Tess lately.

That night they decided to go get some burgers and play a little pool. Mac sat at the table watching her brother get trounced at pool by Kyle, she had tried several times to play through the years but she sucked, so she just set at a table drinking a beer and watching.

She laughed at Liam's indignant expression as he walked over and took a seat beside her, he'd just lost, he reached out and grabbed her beer taking a drink. "So little sister what's new? I haven't seen you much lately."  
"Nothing." She answered. He watched her a moment then asked, "So why don't you tell me who you were out here with?" His eyes twinkling, he had an idea of who it was but couldn't help but tease her.  
"Why do you need me to tell you, when you already know?" She asked her cheeks slightly red.  
"You like him huh?" Mac didn't say anything for a moment, then she looked at him. suddenly wanting to admit it, she nodded her head and said "yes." Liam looked at her shocked, he couldn't believe she'd admitted it, he asked "well that's good right?" Mac took a deep breath and looked away, watching Kyle and Tess play pool. "I don't know," she answered and shook of her head.  
"Why don't you know?" Mac shrugged still not meeting his gaze. "I just don't know" she began then after a short pause she continued. "He just so different... He's quiet and... I never know what he's thinking and he's... God I wish Jake was here." Liam snorted, thinking that's the last thing you need. "No you don't" Liam began, holding her gaze a moment he continued. "If you really like this guy Jake wouldn't be a wise choice to have around."

Mac stared at him a moment, curious over why he'd say that about her friend, "Why?" She asked.  
Liam was quiet a moment like he was trying to choose his words carefully, then began "let's just say, you guys friendship could be a bit intimidating." Mac gave him a funny look but before she could speak Liam continued, "how much do you like him Mac?" noting her flushed cheeks and the fact she'd started fidgeting.  
"A lot." Liam watched her closely and nodded then asked, "does he feel the same?"  
"I don't know, I mean I think so." Frustrated she said, "we're friends." Mac looked away, her gaze slowly coming back to her brother. Liam gave her an understanding smile, he asked, "so is the friend thing an unspoken understanding or have you talked about it?" Mac bit her lip and looked away again, then answered "we've talked about it."  
"Who did that?"  
"Me." She answered truthfully, her cheeks flushing more. Liam smiled faintly, thinking me might understand what was going on, he said "well Mac to quote our father, the word friend can cover all manner of sin." Macs gaze shot to Liam, she nodded her head Twice. That's what her father used to say about her relationship with Jake, he'd never been big on their _friendship_ as he liked to put it. Liam had defiantly given her something to think about, but she'd been so tired when she laid down that night she fell quickly to sleep, the activities of the day left her exhausted.

Gunnar set in his chair at The Old Point bar, they were all there as usual, he found himself watching Amber, something he did often, the stupid girl couldn't seem to get it through her head Road wanted nothing to do with her. Not that she had ever really stood a chance but certainly not now that Road had that pretty little green-eyed neighbor, she'd behaved differently since he'd announced Toll wasn't available, she didn't stop by their table as much. He could have told her in the beginning, going home with him that first night wasn't going to get her into Tolls bed. If anything it diminished her already meager chance to nothing, Toll thought to much of himself to ever lower himself to her level. She walked to their table to serve their next round, Gunnar tried to catch her eye but she wouldn't look at him. The stupid girl was busy watching Toll as usual, he found himself wondering if Toll would ever get the courage to ask out that girl, probably not he surmised, he doubted he'd have the first idea what to do with her even if he.

Mac awoke early everyone else still slept, that without a doubt had a lot to do with the large amount of alcohol they consumed last night, she dressed quickly and left camp, she wanted that buck. When she reached her destination she climbed into the tree stand setting down and quietly opened her water. She pulled her phone out of her sweatshirt pocket and looked down at the screen six thirty was the time. She found herself wondering if he was running.

As she set their another thought occurred to her, she knew Liam was right about her relationship with Jake as much as she didn't want to admit it. She'd always used him as cover and protection, if she ever needed anything he came running. She'd used him to hide behind many times, she even used her relationship with him to get men to break up with her in the past. The thought making her feel sick to her stomach, Liam had made her question her own behavior, for the first time in her life she could see maybe she hadn't always been as innocent as she'd like to think. Jake was her fall back guy, the one that in the past picked up the pieces and her if need be and put it all back together. It also brought about another revelation, she found herself wondering for the first time how people perceived their friendship, she'd never cared what people thought and her fathers condemnation over their friendship had only caused her to have less regard for it. But somehow hearing those same words from Liam made it seem real. And he was right about another thing, if she wanted something with her quiet neighbor, Jake wouldn't help the situation, she still didn't know if she was ready but she had admitted to Liam and herself she liked him..

At that moment she heard it, the noise in the bushes, it drug her from her thoughts about Toll, she stood drawing her arrow, she strung it, and waited. This time when he entered the clearing and she released she got the goose bumps followed by the chills, because this time she didn't miss.

Toll decided yesterday he needed to do something with at least part of his downtime, he didn't get the opportunity much these days. Theyd been going out so regularly for months now it had become hard to have time to do anything. He'd managed to get most of the stuff done around the house he wanted done, like the safes moved and a few other mundane chores but he still had a week, maybe two depending on what Barney decided and he didn't plan on setting. Setting was proving very bad for him, the inactivity ment he had more time to think and that ment Mac. She'd given him her cell number, incase anything happened and he needed to get ahold of her, so he'd agonized over texting her this morning. He wanted to know what she was doing, he knew _what_ she was doing but he wanted to know _what_ she was doing, his thoughts only confusing him. If it was anyone else he considered a friend he'd just text them and think nothing of it but the problem was he didn't just think friendly thoughts about her. He'd never been confronted with this kind of situation. He wondered if it were any of the other guys what they would do, Hale he knew would just text her but he wouldn't find himself in this situation. Neither would Lee, he would have told the girl a longtime ago what he wanted. Gunnar and the women he chose, there was very little guessing they knew what he wanted. Yang he wasn't sure about or for that matter Barney either. Tool, had different women frequently, and the kid well he was young and he'd probably would stumble through it. Out of all of them Billy was the only one he could see having a female he called just friend. Toll shook his head, slightly disgusted with himself and his school boy problems, he was a fifty year old man, he shouldn't agonize over this. He questioned if he should take his therapists advice, forging a friendship with Mac would only lead to heartache. He gave an exasperated sigh, and concentrated on figuring out what he wanted to do with his time off.

It didn't take him long to decided one plan sound better than the rest, rock climbing. He hadn't done it for the sheer enjoyment of it in a longtime, it was another of those things that he used to get a lot of pleasure out of. He momentarily thought about calling Caesar and seeing if he wanted to tag along then changed his mind, he could use the peace and quiet of being on his own for this one. He called and made reservation at a the Donahue Lodge in Tennessee, it was where he normally stayed when he went to the Smokies to climb. He booked his room for next Thursday, he felt excited it would be nice to get away. With that done, he got up he needed to get ready to go to Tools, everyone one would be there, they were doing some sparing today.

Mac left leaving the others behind, they were going to hunt for a while longer then pack up camp and come home. Liam had spit and sputtered when she got him on the radio and told him she'd got a deer. He'd been even more indignant when he'd entered the clearing on the four-wheel drive quad to help her bring back the deer, really her kill had been modest not weighing much, but it was just the thought he'd been out manned by his sister. Mac found it all rather amusing, making sure to rub it in. When Liam had taken the traditional picture of her with her Buck, she'd thought momentarily about sending it to Toll, then stopped herself. She still couldn't believe she done the lets face it absurd thing of asking him to keep her keys, ha, that wasn't one of her smoothest moves ever. Her cheeks flamed bright red, at her own need to set up their next meeting before hand, she wondered if he'd noticed. Some men would instantly have seen it for what it was a ploy but she doubted Toll would. She knew one thing she needed to figure this situation out and fast. Neal's behavior and all her reasons for not wanting a man in her life where becoming vague memories, and the word friend had began to spread a little thin. She wondered what Liam would think if he knew she had given Toll her keys before she left, actually she knew what he'd think he see right through it all, he already had.

It took Mac till almost four to finally get home, she had to drop her deer off at the Meat Market and then she went and picked up Beth, Charlotte and Goose who'd stayed there while she was gone and so Beth could drop her off. She'd ended up visiting with Beth and the baby for a longtime. She probably should call him she kept thinking, just to see if he was around, he after all had her keys but if he wasn't she could get in through one of the basement windows she was sure. That and the thought of talking to him at the moment made her very anxious, she tried to shove the thought aside.

Toll pulled in his driveway and got out then walked to the house, he'd been at Tools sparing with Yang, the little man had worked him over but in defense his head just wasn't in the game today or he could tell himself that, he thought, with a chuckle. Rubbing his chest where Yang had kicked him in the sternum, ya it was defiantly going to leave a bruise he thought as he touched it. After that kick, he'd snapped out of it and took the sparing seriously, it had got his blood pumping and his mind focused.

The last few hours were entertaining, watching Barney and Gunnar box was the highlight of the morning, both had taken a serious beating at the others hands. Bruised and bloody they called it quits after thirty minutes, neither really being able to out maneuver the other. Barney had laughed and almost smiled blood dripping from his split lip, and shook Gunnar's hand, who'd been equally entertained and bloodied.

Toll walked into the bathroom after he entered the house, walking to the shower he reached in turning on the water, then walked back to the sinks, he removed his t-shirt. And looked in the mirror, he rested his hands on the counter, leaning closer inspecting his face, then stood back and looked at his chest, it had already started to bruise. His hands left the counter and went to the waist band of his shorts pushing them down and kicking off his shoes at the same time, his sox quickly followed. He looked at himself in the mirror again, in nothing but his boxer briefs, looking himself over with a critical eye, he wasn't a confident man by any stretch of the imagination but he knew enough to know his physique was aesthetically pleasing. Layers of thick muscle wrapped his pecks and chest, tapering in at his waist, his abs clearly visible, his arms banded with heavy muscle. He knew physically he didn't look bad for a man his age, even scarred as he was. His physique was born of necessity not vanity, unlike so many men these days. For him it was survival of the fittest. Looking at himself, he found himself wondering if she would find him pleasing.. He stopped himself immediately, knowing it wasn't smart.

* * *

Toll had just gotten dressed after his shower, when his phone went off, a smile tugging at his lips when he looked at the screen, Mac.

Hey I'm home! Mac

Then he heard a knock on the door, knowing instantly it was her. He made an amused noise and playfully responded, Oh really. Toll

Then stepped out of the master bath heading for the living room, his phone went off again. Will you hurry up. Mac

He paused in the doorway to his bedroom, his smile broadening he answered her text, teasing her. What do you need me to hurry up and do? Toll

His text was quickly responded to, DONT BE AN ASS! Mac

He chuckled, standing in the living room doorway, he leaned his shoulder against the door frame a smile on his face, he replied. You should try being nice...Toll

He just waited curios to see what she'd have to say next, it took a moment and another knock on his door this one sounded impatient, then she replied. You dear are going to find out how not nice I am if you don't hurry up...Mac

Hasn't anyone told you patience is a virtue. Toll

He was standing by the front door but as he reached out to open it he got another text. Now! Mac

Seconds after Mac sent her last text she heard him laugh, oh, that big jackass was on the other side of the door. She desperately wanted to shower and he was laughing. He opened the door a second later bracing his left hand on the upper part of the door frame, his large frame filling the doorway, he was grinning laughter in his eyes. "You need to learn patience Mac," he said laughing at her. Mac tried very hard to give him a dirty look but it didn't happen, his amusement making her smile.

Toll stood there looking down at her for a moment, her green eyes flashy up at him, trying hard to look mad. Mac reluctantly smiled up at him, and shook her head slightly, happy to see him, she chose not to question that happiness..

"So?" He asked lowering his arm and folding them both over his chest. Mac mimicked his pose, and gave him a mischievous smile then asked, "so what?" Her eyes traveling over his face then going back to his eyes. His brow furrowed while he looked down at her that grin still in his face, "did you get one?" He asked. Her only response at first was her smile broadening, after a moment she said, "I will tell you all about it after I've showered, I need my keys." He thought for one moment about teasing her some more, but she did look like she could use a shower. So he stepped back and gestured for her to come inside and said, "I'll get them." Mac stepped inside watching his tall body disappear into the hallway, her stomach fluttered as she took in his broad back encased in that t-shirt.

She's back earlier then I expected, Toll thought as he walked down the hall, the fact making him happy, despite his misgivings about their friendship. He bet that if he examined the facts, he'd find he'd missed her this weekend. Even if missing her wasn't a wise thing for him to do.

Mac looked around the living room as she waited for him to reappear with her keys, she'd never paid much attention to this room before but she found it suited him. The decor was minimal, a large over stuffed brown leather sofa, and matching chair and ottoman, two end tables and flat screen on a simple television stand. The hardwood floor stained dark, the walls a medium tan, the wood blinds in the windows kept out most of the light, casting the room in inviting shadows. Alluring like its owner, she found herself wondering if his bedroom was nearly as masculine as this room. The thought bringing a faint blush to her cheeks, she felt herself shiver, the sensation causing her to bite her bottom lip.

Toll stepped back into the living room, a smile on his face till he saw her standing there, her eyes fixed on his couch. Even in the dim light he could see her face looked red, and she bit her bottom lip. She reached up tucking her hair behind her ear, still unaware of his presence, his eyes slid down her over her tight tank top, and jeans, her pants legs tucked into her lace up boots and he felt that familiar feeling of his chest tightening. Her green eyes came to him then quickly moved away, she turned away from him, hiding her face.

Mac caught a movement in her peripheral vision, her gaze moving toward the doorway to the hall, he stood there watching her the look in his eyes intense his brow slightly furrowed, she looked away quickly before he could see the direction her thoughts were going. She felt her face flame, stop she told herself, her hands going to her face. She took a deep breath, searching for something to say, she plastered a bright smile on her face and turned toward him, "yes, I got a deer."

Toll watched her from where he stood, he wanted to go over there grab her shoulder and turn her toward him he wanted to see her eyes. She turned looking at him again, a bright smile on her face she said, "yes, I got a deer." But her smile was to bright, there was a lot he'd give at the moment, to know what she'd been thinking when she'd looked up and seen him standing there. Then he felt a smile tug at his lips, her admission distracting him "really?" He asked. "Ya," she answered with a nod, her smile changing becoming less strained. "How big?" He asked walking toward her, she held his gaze as he came forward, his eyes filled with curiosity and amusement, her eyes drifted to his lips momentarily, then came back to his as she answered, "143 pounds and a six pointer, not even worth killing really."

Mac took a deep breath to steady herself, he stopped in front of her, holding his gaze, Mac felt slightly breathless from the way he looked at her nothing new in itself but somehow it was different this time. Suddenly nervous she blurted out, "I dropped it off at the Meat Market on the way home." She stuck her hand in her pocket pulling out her phone, needing something anything to do besides look at him, "here I have a picture." She found it and handed him the phone, glancing up at him quickly.

Toll watched her, again wishing he knew what she'd been thinking, her bright eyes looked troubled, he watched her pull her phone from her pocket and hand it to him, then her gaze came back to him, she quickly looked away, he looked down at the picture on the screen. "It's respectable." Her gaze came back to him again, her eyes still looked troubled but a faint smile appeared on her lips. "It's the first one I've got in a while, I haven't really gone hunting for a longtime." She said, her gaze had left him again, Toll wanted it back so he asked, "why?" She looked up at him a far off look on her face for a moment, then she answered her voice faint, " I just haven't." Her eyes focused on a point past his shoulder her gaze becoming distant again, her mind momentarily drifting to Neal, he'd never wanted her to go. When her gaze came back to his, her eyes were different like she'd been remembering something unpleasant, she didn't smile, her eyes skimmed over his face, "I'm gonna go take that shower now." She started to walk off, but stopped and looked back at him her eyes holding his, "thanks" she said, Toll held her gaze a moment, then replied "you're welcome." He handed her keys to her, that faint smile he liked to see settling on her face, she turned again and walked toward the door.

Mac paused at the door, she knew he'd followed, after a moment she turned and looked up at him. As always she wasn't ready to leave him just yet.

Toll watched at her, she paused just inside the door, she hadn't turned around she just stood there.


	15. Chapter 14

**Round and around and around and around we go**

**Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know.- Rihanna**

* * *

Mac held his gaze a moment, then her eyes left his making a slow trip down his face. She didn't want to leave him and that wasn't anything new, she reminded herself. He always made her feel this way. Her eyes slowly came back to his, she quieted that voice inside her that protested leaving him. A slight smile blooming on her lips, she said "I'll see you soon." She held his gaze, taking two steps back, the smile on her face widening ever so slightly and she turned walking off. She didn't look back, she didn't need to, she knew he watched her, the smile on her face broadened, she would see him soon.

Mac shoved aside the mild confusion in her gut, refusing to think about it, she knew what she needed to do, what she wanted to do. Her conversation with Liam, and the confusion she'd felt before she saw him on her mind. All it had taken was seeing him and she knew she couldn't hide from the possibility any longer.

Toll watched her walk off, his eyes traveling slowly down her body, belatedly closing the door when he realized he'd look like an idiot if she looked back now. She'd given him a look yet again that left him wishing he knew the meaning behind it. He knew he'd be a fool to even wonder, but still he couldn't stop it or help it...

* * *

Toll stepped out of his therapist's office on Monday, feeling good. He wished he could come here regularly, but work made that impossible. He hoped Barney decided they'd take next week off also, he'd kept the appointment he had scheduled for next Monday, just incase his wish came true. He had come close to talking about how Mac made him feel today, but stopped himself, he didn't need Dr. Morgan encouraging him to do something stupid... From there he went to the library same as last week, then met up with the guys.

Mac really hoped that this week didn't turn into a week of Mondays, today was Tuesday and it felt like Monday, everything that could go wrong, seemed to want to go wrong. But that was Murphy's law, what could go wrong, would go wrong and at the worst possible time. One of her ovens went out yesterday, the truffles she'd ordered for the wedding reception this weekend had ended up stuck in customs. The oven, she could work around, she'd just use her home kitchen if she needed to, and seems the repairman said it would take a week to get the part, they'd most defiantly end up using her kitchen. The truffles were another thing entirely, the client a wealthy friend of Mrs. Caffery, had been very specific they had to come from France no North American truffles, it didn't matter that she could get them from a farm outside of Seattle. Mac leaned forward, dropping her head on her desk, she prayed they made it through customs, but unless it happened soon they wouldn't be any good. They needed proper storage and fast or else they'd no longer be considered fresh, she'd end up footing the bill and she'd also have some very unimpressed clients. Her bubbly assistant Anna walked into her office, "what are you doing?" She asked her voice sounding amused. Mac raised her head just enough to look at Anna, and scowled at her, then dropped her head back on the desk, "thinking that by the end of this week I'm going to have an ulcer." Anna laughed and said, "it's all gonna be fine."

As soon as she received the call telling her they'd finished her Deer she decided she was giving some to Toll, it might be an excuse but it meant she'd get to see him. She'd wanted to see him since Sunday, regretting not asking what he had planned for the evening, for some reason he made her second guess herself even more now. When she'd admitted she liked him to Liam she'd changed things and she knew it, but she wouldn't allow herself to ponder exactly how it had changed. Her relationship with Neal no longer seemed as important for one. She knew if she tried to figure it out she'd just end up more confused, so she'd decided to just go with it. Truffles, she reminded herself, she didn't have time to think about him at the moment.

Mac took a deep breath, feeling nervous when she started walking down the street, Hale's and Yang's bikes were there also, only making it worse. She hadn't seen him since Sunday evening and she really wanted to see him, so she took a deep breath and kept walking. She refused to back out now, she wanted this, even if she only saw him for a moment she wanted it.

Mac stood there a minute before they saw her, they stood with their backs to her. Talking among themselves, about what she wasn't certain. She only paid attention to one of them, her eyes traveling down his back, she loved his back and the way his shirt stretched tight across his shoulders. Her eyes traveled lower over his gray cargo pants, he just filled out everything nicely, she thought. She could feel her cheeks growing red, she took a series of deep breath to calm herself and said, "hey."

Toll turned to see her standing there two shoebox sized boxes in her hands, he smiled, surprised to see her, she smiled back walking toward him, her cheeks turning pink. He'd wanted to see her ever since Sunday evening, he'd kept himself up most of the night yet again, she'd looked, well adorable, even thought the word had started to sound redundant to him. When he'd opened the door, that was the only word he could think of, her eyes flashing, he hadn't thought her so adorable when he'd caught her staring at his couch. That look coupled with his own thoughts before gotten in the shower had kept him up.. He brought himself back to the present, it could be bad if he stood there staring at her, thinking...

Mac watched him the look that entered his eyes making her steps falter, it was gone almost as quickly as it had entered but it still made her feel warm, calm down she told herself. "I brought you something." Her eyes drifting to his lips, she quickly moved her gaze back to his.

After he came back to the present, he watched her, she looked.. He didn't know how to describe it, her eyes drifting to his lips, then quickly moved back to his. He started walking toward her, he'd hoped he'd see her before he left even though the thought made him uncertain again. He shook off the feeling and decided to concentrate on the boxes in her hands. A curious smile spreading across his face, she'd brought him something, the thought making him happy. When he reached her, he took the box from her hands, holding her gaze the boxes weighed more than he expected. She smiled up at him, her eyes holding his, she explained "it's just Deer meat." Hale's voice broke into the strange fog that had settled around her. "Deer meat?" He asked, sounding shocked. Mac looked at him momentarily surprised, she'd forgotten he was there, she smiled at him and replied, "yes, I went hunting last weekend."

"No shit." He said still sounding disbelieving. Mac smiled at him then laughed at his shocked expression and incredulous voice, "I told you I needed to lose the beer gut for hunting season." Hale laughed and said, "oh yeah, I forgot. Where'd you go?"

She smiled at him a moment then looked up a Toll, "deliverance." She answered holding Tolls gaze, her eyes twinkling mischievously. Tolls smile broadened into a grin his eyes sparkling, he made an amused noise. Hale and Yang watched them, then looked at each other, Hale said "its gotta be an inside joke." The reference to that day making Macs skin feel warm, and her gaze soften. She looked at Hale after a moment and said, "yup."

Mac watched Hale and Yang walk out the door, they volunteered to go to the store after the asparagus she'd said she wanted. Leaving her alone with Toll, when she'd suggested that they come have dinner with her, it had sounded like a good idea, now that she found herself alone with Toll she wasn't so sure. Despite all the bravado she'd felt since Sunday she felt a bit nervous now. Suddenly feeling shy she stepped past him not meeting his gaze, she walked back to the kitchen pulling a package of deer steak out of the fridge.

She knew he had followed her to the kitchen, but she still wasn't ready when she heard his voice from across the room, "can I help?" He asked. Mac turned slowly and met his gaze.

Toll watched her slowly turn toward him, she looked nervous, her face down turned and flushed, the sight of her making his stomach flip. Her eyes slowly came to his, she smiled hesitantly. Toll watched her a moment, his eyes traveling over her flushed face, then returned that hesitant smile. "You could get me the meat mallet." Toll watched her a moment before he asked, "where do you keep it?" She directed him to the appropriate drawer, watching him as he turned toward the drawer she'd indicated, then busied herself getting the potatoes from the pantry. When she returned from the pantry, he stood by the island watching her, "what next?" He asked, noting how hesitant she still looked, her hesitance making something in him soften. "You can light the grill for me and then prepare the meat if you want." She answered.

Mac watched him out of the corner of her eye while she sliced the potatoes, he was unwrapping the meat, she had told herself to get a grip about twenty times since Hale and Yang left but it wasn't working. She'd thought yesterday that she would be able to control how he affected her now that she'd decided to just relax and let things happen. But she wasn't and unless she got ahold of the nervousness swirling around her she would make a fool of herself. So she asked the first question that came to mind, "what's Hale's real name?"

Toll had been aware of her attention, he'd wished he knew why she seemed so nervous, she'd never acted like this before. She seemed so hesitant and shy, he really hoped he hadn't done something to upset her. Then he heard her voice, "what's Hale's real name?" His gaze came to her, she wasn't looking at him.

"Marcus Hale" he answered, watching her waiting for her eyes to come to him. When they did come a smile accompanied them, she said "that suites him." He just nodded not knowing how to reply, her eyes slid over his face then came back to his eyes, her green eyes curious she asked, "how long have you guys known each other?"

"Somewhere around fifteen years." He answered with a smile.

She found herself smiling at him, his smile making her smile. Some of the tension had left her at that smile, they settled into a lite conversation. "Has he always been so," she paused a moment as if trying to find the word. Toll smiled at her and offered, "retarded?" Mac laughed and nodded her head. She chopped potatoes and he prepared the meat. She finished chopping the potatoes realizing she still hadn't got the pot out of the cabinet by the stove.

Toll looked up when she moved away from the island walking to the cupboard by the stove, he had found he liked her in the kitchen no matter how cliché it sounded. It wasn't because he thought a women belonged in the kitchen it was because she seemed at home, her long hair up in a pony tail, a long wisp of hair hanging against her cheek, a bright purple apron on the color making her green eyes look brighter. She looked adorable and completely at home, all she needed was a smudge of flower on her nose to complete the picture. She didn't look at him just tried to get the big stainless steel pot on the top shelf, the sight of her on tip toe trying to get that pot down, causing a smile to tug at his lips, this is what it's like being normal he thought, that thought caused his chest to tighten.

Mac reached up to grab the pot, she wasn't quite tall enough to easily reach the stuff on the top shelf without a struggle. She turned when she heard his voice, "let me do that." She stepped back and looked up at him, he reached up and grabbed the pot, her eyes focused on the tattoo on the inside of his left arm for a minute, she'd been curious about the crow and skull design and the ink on the inside of his left arm, but had never asked. Her eyes traveled up his body wondering what the one she'd just looked at stood for until she looked at him. The way he looked doing the ordinary task of getting that pot from the cupboard, making her stomach flutter. Her eyes drifted along his profile, he wasn't handsome not really, more masculine than anything, his features rugged, with his crocked nose and strong jaw. His skin looked slightly weathered even clean-shaven as he was today, she wondered if his skin would be smooth under her touch. But it was his sage colored eyes and smile she liked best, smile? Who was she trying to kid it was his mouth in general. She'd developed a habit of wondering how his lips would feel, he picked that moment to look down at her.

Toll looked down at her, and he froze, she was so close, her pretty green eyes holding his. Her lips slightly parted and that wisp of hair hanging against her cheek, he felt the urge to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. Mac held his eyes, he was so close it made her stomach tighten, still thinking about his mouth, her eyes drifted slowly to his lips, a warm liquid feeling had started in her stomach, she wanted.. She swallowed hard, her mind finishing the thought she'd tried to stop. Him, she wanted him. Toll watched her eyes drift to his lips, the look in them changing turning soft, her cheeks growing flushed, he felt his breath falter.

Mac stared at his mouth, unable to stop her mind from imagining his lips against hers, she pulled her gaze from his lips, looking up into his eyes and that was a big mistake, the look in his eyes made her breath catch.

Toll wanted to lean down and kiss her and he was certain at the moment she'd let him, then she looked away, he continued to look down at her still unable to pull his gaze away, surprised by his own reaction to her. She'd never looked at him like that before, his eyes stayed on her wanting her to look at him again. Hale and Yang chose that moment to get back from the grocery store, when they heard the door open Mac took a step back, her gaze coming to him. Her eyes still held that look just fainter, her chest rising and falling fast, her cheeks flushed. She almost looked like she'd been kissed, the sight making him wish he'd done it.

Mac grabbed the pot from his hand and walked to the sink, she turned her attention to the others when they walked into the kitchen, smiling at them brightly as they placed the bags on the island.

Hale's attention went from Macs to bright smile, to Tolls hawk like gaze fixed on her. They'd defiantly interrupted something, but something told him they'd got back a little too soon. To cut the tension in the room, he asked, "where's the cutting board."

Toll walked into the bathroom putting his hands on the counter, leaning forward, he stared at himself in the mirror, he took a deep breath, seeing her looking at him. Calm down he told himself, he couldn't shake the feeling she'd have let him kiss her. It might just have been a caught in the moment thing, but still she'd have let him and he knew it.. He leaned back turning on the water and splashing some in his face, taking a deep breath. He heard her laughter coming from the kitchen, the sound making his body tense, it reminded him not matter how badly he'd come to want her, he couldn't have her.

Toll walked out if the bathroom glad Hale and Yang had gotten back when they did before he'd done something stupid. He knew she might have wanted it at the moment but she'd hate it and him later. She didn't want him, he knew that but it was really hard to remember they were just friends when she looked at him that way. He stepped into the kitchen to see her backing through the screen door onto the deck a tray of vegetables in her hands, she was smiling up at Hale who followed her.

Mac watched him as he stepped onto the deck, Hale had deposited himself in her hammock almost instantly and Yang set at the table. His eyes met hers and Mac instantly felt uncertain she gave him a hesitant smile, she was acutely aware of what had almost happened between them. Now that she no longer had the word friend to hide behind she didn't know how to react to him, when she'd admitted to Liam she liked Toll that word had lost all power over her emotions. Good lord she'd wanted him to kiss her, the idea making her skin tingle, STOP! She yelled at herself, now is not the time for those thoughts... She looked away from him, collecting herself, she instead focused on his reaction when she'd showed up at his house earlier, that bright and curious smile he'd given her when he took those boxes, it made her smile.

Toll walked toward her, noting her hesitant smile and faintly flushed cheeks, her eyes searching his. He let his eyes quickly travel over her, when his gaze came back to hers she wasn't smiling anymore and she looked nervous. Even though he didn't feel like it he gave her a smile, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. She smiled faintly her cheeks turning pink, she dropped her gaze, when her eyes came back to him, the smile on her face caused him to smile in earnest.

She'd finished preparing dinner by herself, depositing a beer in each of their hands and telling them to stay put, she desperately wanted Toll occupied not helping her. She needed a chance to get her composure back, she couldn't do that with his watchful gaze on her. It shook her knowing how badly she'd wished he'd just done it, bent down and kissed her, she knew she wouldn't have protested. Shaking off the unhelpful thoughts filling her head, she concentrated on finishing dinner preparations.

* * *

They'd just set down to eat when Yang asked, "so when you leaving?" Pulling Tolls attention to him.

"Thursday." He answered.

"Where are you going?" Mac asked surprised, she hadn't known he was going anywhere. Tolls eyes shifted to her, the sound of her voice and the look in her eyes, effecting him. "I'm going rock climbing."

"Really?" She asked managing to sound excited and interested at the same time. He just nodded a smile playing on his lips brought on by how cute she sounded. "Where are you going?" She asked when he didn't offer an explanation.

"Tennessee." He answered, holding her gaze, his eyes momentarily dipping to her lips, remembering how badly he'd wanted to taste those lips not long ago. Mac blushed faintly pulling her gaze from his, trying to steady herself, it was difficult the look in his eyes making her think back to while the others were gone.

It was Yang that broke the charged silence between them, Hale just watched amused enjoying the show. Yang said "that's a long way to go to climb a rock." Toll turned his attention back to Yang and said, "nine and a half hours."

"What about you Mac?" Hale asked. Mac looked at him confused and asked "what?"

"Have you ever been rock climbing?" He asked eyes twinkling. She smiled and refused to take whatever bait it was he was trying to throw out, "nope."

"You should go," he paused his eyes traveling to Toll then coming back to her, "sometime." She knew what he was doing and again refused to bite, "I'm sure I will some day." She responded trying to convey with her eyes that he needed to behave. His response was a smile. Yang as if picking up on the unspoken communication between them changed the subject.

The guys fell quickly into the easy camaraderie she'd seen before, Mac listened entertained as they talked watching them contentedly, joining in on occasion, every so often she'd meet his gaze, when it happened she'd feel herself smiling at him. Followed quickly by a blush in most instances, he didn't have to say anything it was just the way he looked at her.

Mac found herself lost in thought, wondering about his upcoming trip it made her kind of sad, even though that wasn't the right word really, sorry would be better. She wanted to spend time with him before he started disappearing for days at a time again. Hale's voice brought her out of her thoughts when he said, " Mac." Drawing her attention from her thoughts, she looked around the table to find three sets of eyes on her. "Yes?" She asked, her attention going to him. "Ask him why he reads so much?" He nodded in Tolls direction a big smile on his face. Mac glanced at Toll who just looked at her, he gaze travelled back to Hale, "you really need to find some new material.." She said arching an eyebrow.

"Just ask him."

"Why?"

"I'm just curious what he'd say if you asked." Mac gave him a doubtful look, knowing what he was up to. When she looked at Toll there was smile tugging at his lips he just looked at her, his face not conveying anything, her eyes drifted to his lips for a moment, then she asked "why _do_ you read so much?" Toll held her gaze, faintly smiling at her, his attention returned to Hale, he answered eyes twinkling, "its therapeutic and I need all the therapy I can get hanging out with you." Hale gave him a disgusted look obviously trying to embarrass his friend didn't work, so he asked "So is knitting you want me to buy you some needles?" Laughter in his voice his attention coming back to Mac, she gave him a dirty look arching her eyebrow, she said "stop it you know I like the fact he reads. Maybe you should try it." Hale held her gaze laughing at her even though he didn't make a sound he said, "I'll have you know I just read a book." Before she could say anything, she heard Yang's voice, "comic books don't count, brother." She glanced at Toll, who was giving Hale an entertained look, a grin on his face.

They had stayed at her house until eight thirty, Mac had enjoyed the company, even though her over active imagination kept drifting to what had nearly happened with Toll. She was suspicious that she'd spend a sleepless night thinking about him, the thought made her feel warm.

Toll stood on Macs front porch beside her and watched Hale and Yang walk down the driveway then turned his attention back to her. "When will you be back?" She asked her eyes on him, Toll turned toward her his eyes drifting over her face, settling on her lips, he pulled his gaze away from them quickly, his thoughts from earlier this evening filling his mind, that was not a good idea... He answered as his eyes came back to her, "Sunday."

A soft smile spreading across her lips, she said, "fun." Toll nodded, staring down at her, that soft smile was dangerous at the moment. Macs face turned slightly pink, her eyes downcast, he took a deep breath. "You could return the favor." He said searching for something anything to say. Macs eyes came to his then, her smile broadened, leaving the soft quality behind, "sure." She answered. Toll watched her, smiling himself, "I should get going." He said. Mac nodded, smile still on her face, she said enthusiastically, "have fun." He grinned at her, and said, "I will."

* * *

Hale rode his bike into Tool's shop, and walked it backwards into the line of bikes already present, then shut it off. He looked over at Toll a shit eating grin on his face he got off his bike and walked toward him, pulling a bag out from under his t-shirt and tossing it to him, as he said, "Merry Christmas, I bought you something." Toll caught the bag looking down at it, it couldn't be good if Hale was bringing him a present. His eyes travelled back to Hale, suspicious he asked, "what is it?" This almost certainly meant embarrassment.

"It's a surprise." Hale said a serious expression on his face, Toll looked at him a moment more, as he pulled the package out of the bag.

"It's a book." Toll said mildly shocked, the thought crossed his mind that it could be almost anything given where it came from. "I didn't even know you knew where to buy one." Toll said sarcastically as he ripped the brown paper wrapping that covered the book, for a moment he just stared at the cover his ears turning hot, then said, "what the fuck, Body Language for dummies!" His gaze snapping back to Hale, who just laughed and said, "I knew you'd want something to read while you were away, for enlightenment or therapy or one of your dumb ass reasons. You did say last night reading is therapeutic remember." Hale's smile conveying to all he felt proud of himself.

Barney, and the others watched the exchange between Toll and Caesar amused, and everyone laughed at the expression on Tolls face. Barney couldn't help but laugh himself it was entertaining, but he knew what Hale was up too. He had no doubt this latest attempt to embarrass Toll Road had something to do with the fact they'd had dinner with her last night. The only reason he knew was Yang had told Road to thank Mac for dinner last night. Barney couldn't help but wish he'd been there himself, he'd decided to stay out of it, but he didn't like not knowing how far things had gone. Judging by that book not all the way at least not yet, one thing he knew for certain if she wasn't the lily-white little thing Tool thought she was, she'd fuck Toll up. He didn't know that he'd be able to set back and watch that happen.

Toll left Tools shortly after Hale had shown up, he needed to get ready to leave and they wanted to go to the Old Point tonight. Thanks to Hale trying to embarrass him last night he knew everything she had planned for the entire time he'd be gone. She'd be working late tonight and tomorrow, she had a wedding on Saturday, then Sunday she had plans to go car shopping. He liked knowing what her plans were, even though he'd been a little uncomfortable he was glad Hale did it. He'd fallen asleep last night thinking about the evening, he had fun with her nothing new in itself, he'd been slightly nervous when she'd invited them over. Surprisingly being with her last night with Hale and Yang hadn't been the gut wrenching experience he'd thought it would be. And Hale had tried hard to make it one a few times, a smile coming to his face, it quickly left however when his mind wandered to the one memory from last night he'd been avoiding. He tried not to think about but he couldn't get rid of the feeling that she would have let him kiss her... His mind drifting to the book he had under his coat, the thought bringing a fresh wave of embarrassment, he had started to think he liked it better when Caesars only material to give him shit about had been Amber and his idiosyncrasies, his teasing about him about Mac bothered him a lot. Maybe he would read... He stopped himself, suddenly very glad he was going way.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**"A bend in the road is not the end of the road…Unless you fail to make the turn."- Helen Keller**

* * *

Forget the lemonade, with all the lemons life had thrown her way this week, she wanted to break out the tequila and salt. First her oven, then the truffles and now Anna was sick, someone or something had it in for her this week.. Well at least it's Thursday at noon she told herself, only two and half more days to go.

Well, that wasn't entirely true, one thing had worked out better than she'd expected, she'd managed to get permission from her clients yesterday, to buy truffles from a rare food importer in the city. But without Anna that meant she had to go get them, which she really didn't have time to do. It also meant no one to supervise whichever kitchen she wasn't in, she reluctantly left her office kitchen in the hands of Aaron, the young man the that helped Anna when Mac wasn't around. Uneasy about the decision, she didn't feel he had enough experience, this job was extremely important but she had no other choice.

* * *

Standing on a cliff forty feet up from the ground, could put life into perspective if you allowed it. Looking down at the forest below, the trees had started their yearly change, he knew in the next month there would be no green left, just reds, oranges, and yellows as far as the eye could see. He loved it here, the quiet simplicity of the life around him. The area had been left largely unchanged by the world around it, the people were simple, god fearing, salt of the earth people, to coin the phrase. This was the kind of place he hoped he retired to someday, if he lived that long. Maybe he'd buy a cabin up here, a place to get away, it wasn't the first time he'd had the idea, but he felt certain it would have the same result as before. He'd never do it, when he got back to town and back to work, life would take over, replacing the fantasy of the simple life found here.

Mac drifted into his mind, she was another fantasy, but unfortunately, one that didn't seem to fade away. Since he'd arrived here, he'd examined his relationship with her, trying to see it objectively. It didn't work he'd fallen too far, it bothered him, but at the same time he knew it would continue. Hale's constant teasing, making it worse, when Hale told her she should go, Toll knew what he was doing and he'd bet she did also. But still he had waited, his body tense for any indication she'd like to come with him, but she hadn't given one, just told Hale she was sure she would someday. He'd hoped she'd...

He knew how stupid he sounded, that book in his bag back at the lodge coming to mind. He hadn't planned to bring it along, but seeing it laying on the kitchen table, he grabbed it before he left. Embarrassed that he'd even brought it, he shook off his thoughts pulling out his flip phone he took a picture of the rolling valleys and mountains around him, he took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the smell of fall and farm land. Then started his descent back down the cliff.

By Friday night Mac really wanted to talk to him, Tuesday night still fresh in her mind, this week had been long and chaotic, she wanted the assurance his quiet presence could give her. She wished... She really didn't know what she wished. But it was nine thirty at night and he was her first thought, not wishing she was out with Tess or wishing Jake was in town, it was him... She chose not to over think that revelation. She crawled into her bed and curled up, snuggling deeper into the pillows, pulling at her blankets and tucking them around her. She had planned on watching Downton Abby on her iPad, it no longer sounded appealing. Truthfully, it wasn't just tonight, off and on all day she'd thought about him, wondering what he was doing, if he was having fun. She'd hoped he'd text her, but also realized that wasn't likely, if she wanted to hear from him she'd have to do it.

After ten minutes of mental tug of war, she reached over and grabbed her cell from the night stand. She stared at it, her pulse quickening, she quickly typed the first thing that came to mind, not sure if she should push send. Reading the screen, where are my pictures? Mac. She hadn't asked him to send her pictures, but the thought of texting him made her nervous, so she'd just typed the first thing that came to mind. She pushed send. Then laid her phone on the bed in front of her, pulling her legs against her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Chewing on her bottom lip, this was ridiculous she felt like a teenage girl but she didn't care.

Toll looked up surprised when he heard his phone go off, hopefully it was Barney letting him know about next week, he'd said he'd let him know soon. This kind of indecisive behavior wasn't common with Barney, not in the least. The man always had a plan. He took off his reading glasses and laid down his book, then got up from the chair he set in and walked to the dresser. He reached down and picked up his phone, surprised, an instant smile coming to his lips, Mac. He opened the text. Where are my pictures? Mac

Had she asked for pictures? He questioned, no, he didn't think so, but maybe. He walked to the bed and set down. Not knowing what to say to her even in text he thought for a moment then replied honestly. Sorry, I don't remember you asking..Toll

It took him so long to respond, Mac was afraid he wasn't going to. When he did she smiled, her cheeks turning pink, she reached out and grabbed her phone a smile sneaking across her lips. Her response. You have a bad memory! Mac

Maybe she did ask, he thought when he opened the text. But before he could respond, she texted him again. Here I was thinking you paid attention! Mac.

He chuckled, knowing she was teasing him, his smile broadened, he laid back on the bed leaning against the head-board, and stretching his legs out, then answered. I know you didn't ask, brat.. Toll

Mac couldn't help it she giggled when she opened the text, she liked the way he sounded when he called her a brat. Fully aware that of the fact, she was acting like a teenager but unconcerned she replied. We're resorting to name calling again?!

He opened the text and laughed, thinking trouble might be a better name for her, she defiantly made it easy to forget to hold back. Another text came.

So, are you having fun? Mac

Toll smiled, you could say that, he responded. Then quickly opened the picture he'd taken earlier, sending it to her also.

Mac smiled at his response, typical Toll, simple. The man of few words. But before, she could respond her phone buzzed again, another message, a beautiful panorama of the Smoke's, he'd taken the picture high above the valley floor. You could undoubtedly see for miles from where he'd stood, it was a startling beautiful picture, looking at it made her wish she was there. Well, truthfully she'd already wished she was with him.

It's beautiful.. Mac

You should see it in about a month.. Toll

I wish I could, with you, the voice in her head whispered, but she answered. I bet, I love the fall colors... Mac

They're pretty..Toll. He was certain he could have found something better to say, but for the life of him couldn't come up with another response.

Mac glanced at the clock it was ten, she knew she needed to go to bed soon. She had a busy day tomorrow but she wasn't ready, biting her lip she typed. So what are you doing? Mac

Toll looked down at his phone, uncertain again, did he tell her he was in bed, that thought made him wonder if she might be in bed also... Stopping his wayward thoughts before they went any further down that path, he answered. Talking to you.. Toll

She smiled faintly, at his answer, then replied. Oh really I wouldn't have guessed.. Mac

Remembering she had a big day tomorrow he asked. Shouldn't you be going to bed? Toll. Then he instantly hoped she didn't think, he was trying to get rid of her. So he quickly followed it up with, you have a wedding tomorrow, right? Toll. Immediately after he pushed send she responded. Probably, but I don't want to.. Mac

Mac felt her smile soften, when she read his text. You have a wedding tomorrow, right? Apparently his innocent comments could make her feel breathless even via text message. Mac stared at the screen, then closed her eyes for a moment, seeing his face, him giving her that look that made her feel the need to squirm. She responded. Yea, but I'm not ready for sleep. I can find something else to do if you are though.. Mac

What she'd really wanted to say was, I miss you.

Toll knew he didn't want to stop their conversation, not yet. When she answered, a smile came to his lips again, he wished the reason she wasn't ready for bed was because she missed him, but he knew it wasn't true. His response was. I'm not going to bed soon...

They texted back and forth until Mac was close to falling asleep waiting for him to reply, before she nodded off completely, she texted him. I'm falling asleep on you, so if you text me and I don't respond, Goodnight Garrett.. Mac

Toll stared at the screen, the thought of her falling asleep texting him, made him feel that familiar pressure in his chest, and momentarily wish he was there tucking her in. She'd fallen asleep on him once before and that day he'd felt himself fall a little farther, tonight wasn't any different. He responded. Sweet dreams, Cameron...

Mac forced herself to stay awake, just incase he responded again, she was so tired her eyes weren't really focusing, a sleepy smile drifting onto her face.

You too.. Mac

She glanced at the clock quickly giving her eyes a moment to focus, it was nearly eleven. Laying her head down on the pillow, the last thoughts that crossed her mind were she'd be exhausted in the morning but it was worth it.

Toll stared at his phone a moment, again wishing things were different, that he wasn't the only one who wanted more from this relationship. Growing annoyed with Caesar, if he'd leave it the hell alone.. He stopped himself, it wasn't Hale's fault, it was his own stupidity, after all you always want what you can't have. He'd never asked Hale if he was being serious, or just messing with him, irritated with himself yet again, he scoffed, what kind of grown man asks his best friend, do you really think she likes me? The thought leaving him feeling pathetic and frustrated and disgusted with himself. But still he'd give almost anything to know, apparently anything besides his dignity or what was left of it.

His eyes travelled to his bag, knowing that book lay in the bottom, he chastised himself again, reading that book would make him feel as pathetic as asking Hale. He reached over and shut the lights off, determined to fall asleep without her being his last thought. It was a fruitless endeavor no doubt if Hale was around, he'd be teasing him about pillow talk or some stupid thing.

Mac awoke early, automatically reaching for her phone to see if he'd texted again, he hadn't, which didn't really surprise her, but it still made her marginally sad. For a moment she thought about texting him good morning, but quickly shoved it aside, telling herself there was no need to act completely desperate. She looked at Goose stretched out beside her, a smile blossoming on her lips; life in general would be so much simpler if she were a dog, she mused. She set up and got out of bed, then headed for the shower.

Toll spent the day, doing what he came here to do, keeping his mind away from her as much as possible. She'd told him last night she wanted more pics, saying you could send me more pics tomorrow and he knew he would. For now he intended to not think about her.

Damn, her feet were swollen, well that's what she got for wearing heels on the job, she set down on her coffee table rubbing her arches. She hissed, momentarily in pain, her poor feet were particularly soar high up in her arches. She needed a bucket of ice for her feet and Jose Cuervo, then maybe her feet would feel better, it wasn't late, but she felt exhausted. No doubt that was to do with a week of almost no sleep, then another late night last night, followed by an early morning. Her reason for having that late night entering her head, she hadn't heard from him today, not one pic, she'd thought for sure he'd send her some. She'd asked him to send her more, trying to make sure she'd hear from him today. A mildly pathetic and school girlish move, that any other man would see right through.

If he'd see it for what it was, it wouldn't be half so embarrassing, but she doubted he would. So it made her feel pathetic. She had begun to think, his shyness would prevent him from seeing any of it, she knew, she just might have her work cut out for her. She knew the attraction was mutual if she'd had any doubts his reaction to her on Tuesday would have quickly dispelled them. Goose set down in front of her, resting his head on her knee, he whined, wanting her attention. She reached out and scratched his head; her mind still on Toll, she wasn't sure coy tactics would get her point across with him.

Mac didn't want to get up when she heard the knock at her door, shed just set down on the couch, Goose had quickly cuddled up next to her. She swung her legs out from in under her and stood, reaching down to brush the wrinkles out of the skirt or her burgundy colored dress. She told Goose to stay, not wanting him to jump on whomever it was, she gingerly walked to the door.

When she opened to the door the first thing she felt was the almost overwhelming need to throw up, panic seizing her body, "Neal." She said, her voice barely a whisper. Her eyes held his grey blue ones, "what do you want?" She asked not giving him a chance to speak, "can I come in?" He asked the deep voice that had once made her smile when she heard it, making her skin crawl. She shot a quick glance at the coat closet, where Liam had placed the short-barreled pump shotgun, or her home defense weapon. She looked back up at him, "or we can talk out here." He suggested, Mac took a deep breath and said, "I don't know, you just need to leave."

"Please, Mac." She watched him a moment more, he looked rather desperate she noted. "Oh alright." She said stepping onto the porch. The panic of a moment ago lessening slightly. He moved several feet away, as if knowing she was anxious, leaving all exits open, he stood away from the steps and away from the door, he began. "Your house is beautiful." Mac shook her head, not wanting to talk pleasantries with him, "what do you want?" She asked, parroting the question she'd asked minutes ago. He looked away from her staring out across the yard, "I'm sorry, Kamron." His eyes slowly coming back to her, and she could see he meant it, but it didn't change the facts, she scoffed, "yeah, me too."

"If I could change it..." Mac cut him off not wanting to hear the empty words, he could have changed it by just not doing it. "What's the point, Neal?" She watched him, his eyes changed, she hoped it meant he realized she didn't want his apology. His eyes drifted down her body, then came back to hers, all business now, he said, "I came here to tell you myself, that I've moved back, I thought it would be best if you heard it from me." She nodded the news making her stomach clench in dread, she wasn't surprised she knew he'd come back someday, this was his home. As if he sensed her inner turmoil, he said, "I won't bother you Mac, I just wanted.. Well I know you don't want to hear this, but I've wished so many times... I know this is hard for you and maybe it's too soon, but my moms sick and.. I'm just sorry Mac." Even though she didn't want to hear those words once let alone twice, she could tell he meant it, and maybe she could be more understanding, especially with his mom sick, she wanted to ask what was wrong but wouldn't allow herself. Instead she said, "not half as sorry as me." Neal nodded, his head then looked down, taking a step toward the porch steps, he paused looking back at her, "I'll stay away," he began, " you can let Liam know I'll stay away." She watched him a moment, noting he was trying desperately to put her at ease, she said after a moment, "Liam will react however he feels the need to. When he finds out you're back I don't know what he'll do." Neal held her gaze a moment then turned and walked down the steps.

Mac watched him walk across her yard and get in his truck, the moment he pulled off the end of the street, she rushed inside making sure her doors and windows were all locked. She contemplated calling Liam, but his words had seemed honest and she was in no doubt heartfelt. She didn't believe she had anything to fear from him, but his visit still managed to put her on edge, she had to stop the flashback of the night several times. Liam would say she was lucky she was alive, it wasn't as bad as all that, physically he'd left her with no scars, it was inside he'd done the damage. Suddenly she thought about Toll, oddly her recent encounter with Neal didn't make her recoil from the thought of him.

Toll spent the day how he intended, and managed to keep her memory at bay for the most part, he climbed with one of the guys from the lodge. He was a kid really, named Chris, his family had owned the lodge for generations, and now he was a guide, employed by the lodge. Toll knew him from the years past, he'd asked Toll this morning if he wanted to do a more remote and dangerous climb. Toll had instantly been interested, knowing if it was as good as the kid said, the attention it would take up would keep her out of his mind so he'd said "yes."

Toll wasn't disappointed, defiantly not a beginners climb, with rock outcroppings. Which meant he spent some time cliff hanging today. It had kept his adrenalin pumping and his mind focused, when they reached the top of the climb he took a picture from the edge, angled directly at the ground. The picture was confusing when you first looked at it, the tree line started about twenty-five feet down, it created an optical illusion.

Mac smiled when the text came, it was nearly as late as it had been when she texted him yesterday. Happy beyond measure when she saw it was from him. A strange feeling of foreboding had set in after Neal had left her house, Tess had texted her and wanted to come over, but Mac had made excuses. Telling her she hadn't gotten much sleep last night and just wanted to curl up with Goose and watch a movie. Really she just didn't want to see or talk to anyone she could associate with Neal. She wasn't afraid of him, not really, weary was a better word, he had acted contrite enough for her to believe he wouldn't bother her and he was a lot of things but dumb wasn't necessarily one. He knew Liam would kill him, if he touched her again.

She smiled at her phone, the pic said underneath it, this is up. He'd taken it at the base of the rock wall, looking up, rock outcroppings everywhere, it made her smile and wonder how he'd climbed it.

Before she could respond she got another text, looking directly down the same rock wall, it said underneath the pic. This is down. This picture could be mildly confusing, making you wonder if it hadn't been taken lying on the ground. Then she quickly realized that was an illusion. Holy shit, he'd been at least twenty feet above the tree line.

She responded. Whoa, that's nuts, or you're nuts! Mac. A slight smile on her lips.

Toll chuckled when he opened the text, and asked. What are you trying to say? Toll.

Nothing! Haha. Actually I'm slightly jealous again! Mac

Whys that? Toll

I've always wanted to try it, but yeah, I think I'll leave that climb to you! And by the way you spelled my name wrong last night, it's Kamron not Cameron...Mac

Sunday came and went fast for Mac, she'd left her house around nine, stopping to pick up Liam before she went car shopping. She had no idea what she would buy or if she'd buy anything, it depended on the deals she found. And ultimately what the dealership would do for her, she still owed fifteen thousand on her car, she hoped she found somebody who would work with her. She needed reliable transportation and Subaru just kept giving her the run around, not wanting to take back her STI, she didn't have time to wait around until they decided it was actually a lemon.

Mac made the choice to not tell Liam about Neal, she'd spent sometime thinking about it yesterday and decided against it. Not wanting the drama that would follow, she believed Neal would leave her alone and his mother was sick, so she decided it was best to let stuff be. Besides Liam would know soon enough, someone would tell him, unless Neal played the hermit, which she knew he wouldn't, someone would see him. She'd deal with it then.

Things ended up working out slightly better than she'd expected, she found a 2010 four door Jeep Rubicon, and the dealership had been willing to work with her. Her payments were higher than what she'd wanted but she knew that would happen. Liam had teased her some about Toll but not overly obnoxiously, he treated it with more respect than before.

Toll made his drive home Sunday acting like a tourist, Barney had called and let him know yesterday, that they were taking next week off also so Toll didn't rush, he took his time. Stopping in town and picking up a real estate magazine, thinking about buying that piece of property or cabin he'd wanted to buy for years. Hell, maybe he'd really do it this time, it would give him a place to go, his own get away. He made several stops on the way home, something he didn't normally feel he had time to do. He wondered through two or three used book stores, making some purchases and stopped at a Flea Market. When he walked out of the Flea Market there was a flame red Maple leaf on his hood, it had undoubtably fallen from a tree near by, he looked at it for a moment then walked over and picked it up, unlocked his door and got in, placing it in the center console.

When he finally got home it was late, nearly ten pulling onto the end of the street he looked up at Macs house, it lay in darkness except for a faint light in the upstairs hall. Noticing the green Jeep setting in her yard, wondering if it was her new vehicle. He hadn't rushed home today, not only because he never felt he had the time to enjoy the drive, but because he knew if he did, he'd want to see her, be near her. After his conversations with her this weekend something felt different, she was flirtatious not that, that in itself was anything new. He didn't know what exactly, but something was different, the way she worded certain comments, he'd told her a little about his climb yesterday, she'd told him, she wished she was there. It wasn't like she'd said, I wish I was with you. Her phrasing had been innocent enough. But it had left him uncertain of the correct response, he answered. you should try it sometime, but I wouldn't recommend something like this as your first attempt. Then she'd answered, you will have to show me where to go. Again another seemingly innocent comment, but the entire conversation had been that way. The spell it had weaved around him, making him wish he could hear her voice, but he'd dismissed the thought of calling her. Warnings going off in his brain, telling him to not read too much into what she said.

He also knew she'd fallen a sleep twice this weekend while texting with him, the thought seemed so... Sweet. It didn't seem like the right word but it was the only one that came to mind, but more than that it made him feel protective.

He never really talked to a women like he talked with her, especially not texting. He also knew it could be difficult to know what people really meant in a texting conversation, but even knowing that something still felt different.

* * *

She groaned the grocery store was horribly busy, pulling her list out of her pocket, luckily it wasn't a long list. She could be in and out quickly hopefully, grabbing a cart, she walked toward the produce department, she always started at this end of the store.

Mac saw him, a faint smile coming to her face, she felt her breath falter slightly and her cheeks redden. He hadn't seen her, so just she stood there watching, her eyes sliding down him, a black leather driving cap on his head, she'd never seen him wear it before, she liked it she quickly decided. He had on the same red shirt he'd had on the day he'd taken her for a ride. Her faint smile broadening at the memory of that day, but today he wore it unbuttoned over a tight white tank top. The look wouldn't normally be appealing to her but on him it worked, showing off the wide expanse of his heavily muscled chest, the sight making her feel slightly warm and apparently she wasn't the only female in the area to notice.

She waited and watched the young women, younger than her she'd bet, wander closer, stopping every so often, picking up a piece of produce and pretending to inspect it, while throwing a covert look in his direction, as he moved from gondola to gondola, picking stuff out. Mac thought for one second about running up behind him and scaring him, but decided instead to use a different tactic. A broad grin spreading on her face, she reached up and pulled down her sunglasses, wandering toward him, if she had to say, much less obviously than the other women who was presently waiting for him to notice her.

She steered her cart close, he still hadn't noticed her yet, so she casually stepped up beside him, he looked over at her a surprised smile appearing on his face. Before he could say anything, she made a shushing noise and said, "Don't say anything I'm on a mission." Reaching out and grabbing an avocado from the stand in front of them. He made an amused noise, in no doubt she was up to mischief, his smile broadened even more. "What's with the sunglasses?"

"I said, shush." She chastised him, he chuckled slightly, and shook his head, amused. "You're going to blow my cover!" She said, giving him a dirty look. "Cover?" He asked doubtfully, taking in her secretive smile, his grin still firmly in place. "Yes."

"10 o'clock." She whispered, leaning a little closer, knowing she shouldn't tease him like this but unable to stop herself. He looked around, his brow furrowed, confused, his eyes settled on her lips. Her playful smile broadened, at his perplexed expression, she laughed and said, "oh never mind."

She reached up and slid her sunglasses onto her head, giving him a thoroughly mischievous smile, her eyes sparkling secretively, she found something extremely amusing. But at the moment he didn't care, she was adorable and he found it endearing, with that mischievous twinkle in her eyes. He smiled at her, chuckled and shook his head, "do I want to know what's so amusing," he asked laughter in his voice.

She gave him a bewildered smile, trying her hardest to look innocent, her eyes taking on the same quality, she said, "I don't know what you're talking about." He threw back his head and laughed this time, Mac gave him a dirty look, when his attention came back to her. Remembering he'd had an admirer, she looked where the girl had last stood to see her wandering off in the other direction. Good, was the first thought that entered her head, then Oh lord!


	17. Chapter 16

She watched the brunette a moment more, shocked by her reaction to the girl, that was defiantly a new experience for Mac. Jealousy, no it was impossible.

She shook off the feeling, dismissing it and turned her attention back to Toll, he was watching her, she smiled faintly and let her eyes drift across his feature. Toll watched her eyes drift down his face, his smile fading slightly, wondering if she was nearly as happy to see him, as he was to see her.

Mac watched him, a moment wondering what he was thinking, then asked, "Did you have a good drive home?"

"Yeah." Was his simple reply, her smile brightening more, "tell me about it!" She said expectantly, her green eyes sparkling, she managed to look both playful and inquisitive at the same time. His faint smile turning into a grin again, he made an amused noise. "It was long." He offered partly because, he wasn't exactly certain how much to tell her, people rarely asked him for details, and because he knew she wanted those details, he hadn't been able to resist the urge to play with her.

She squinted at him giving him a dirty look, that didn't enter her eyes and said, "you're the most annoying man sometimes." Turning her attention to the avocado in her hand, she pretended to ignore him.

He watched her amused, laughter in his eyes, as always she was entertaining. She pretended to ignore him, while she inspected the avocado in her hand, then she moved away from him to get a bag, still not looking at him. She reached out and grabbed another avocado, to anyone who didn't know any better, she'd look like she was just simply picking out what she wanted. But he knew better, that smirk tugging at her mouth, and twinkle in her eyes, let him know she was playing with him also.

He stood there by his cart, watching her, he liked the playful side she had. He also liked the fact she wanted to know about his drive, he found her general curiosity about him, fed his own fascination with her. He watched her an instant more, noting in amusement she wouldn't look at him and said, "it was nice." Her eyes came back to his, she still didn't look impressed, he chuckled, then continued, "it was a nice drive, I took my time and I didn't get back until around ten." She rolled her eyes, gave him a bright smile again, and said, "and that's as good as I'm gonna get."

Loading his groceries into his truck, he couldn't help but chuckle, he somehow knew he'd end up giving her the details she desired. Eventually she'd get the info she wanted, he could have told her more but he hadn't been certain what to say and the idea of teasing her had been more appealing. Her green eyes flashing, as always looking adorable, but there was something different about her. After the teasing had stopped, shed seemed different her green eyes, still playful but there was something more, she'd seemed... Shy? Maybe? He wasn't certain but whatever it was it was different.

His mind drifting to their conversations this weekend, he'd thought something was different then also. Realizing this train of thought wasn't wise, he shoved it aside. Instead wondering what exactly she'd been up to when she appeared at his side, with her sunglasses on, he had the feeling he'd completely missed something.

That night as Mac got ready for bed, her brain seemed determined to focus on him, nothing new, she thought with a sigh. Her interest in him had turned into a full on obsession, part of the time anyway, she blushed thinking about last weekend. She'd hinted and used word play and of course he remained oblivious. She couldn't help but wish again that one of them had just kissed the other, a week ago. A shiver running down her spine, at the thought. That quiet intensity he had, always pulled her in, blanketing her, making her want to stay inside of it. She knew he was gentle, and caring, but he was also strong, and if she believed in reincarnation she'd believe his soul was old.

Chastising herself for how moony-eyed she sounded, she climbed into bed and got comfortable, then grabbed her phone off the night stand impulsively, and texted him. Do you want to run with me tomorrow? Embarrassing herself again, she felt the nervousness he made her feel settling in, she just wanted...

The Old Point bar was busy tonight, he immediately noticed when he pulled up, his first thought being, it looked a little to crowded. He'd momentarily considered not going in at all, but he knew the guys were inside and he'd said he'd show up. He walked inside making his way to the table the others set at, everyone had beat him here it looked like. Except for Lee and Lacy who'd apparently gone on a romantic get away, they'd be back tomorrow and Billy who'd also gone away.

The conversation at the table entertaining as always, the present topic being the fact Amber wouldn't speak to Gunnar any longer. Gunnar told Toll it was his fault, from that point Hale had started listing the reasons it was Gunnar's fault. Toll was laughing at Gunnar when he felt his phone vibrate, he leaned back in his chair and pulled his phone out of his pocket, Mac. He glanced around the table, to see if anyone was paying attention, then he flipped his phone open, do you want to run with me tomorrow.. Mac. He smiled faintly, he liked knowing that she wanted to spend time with him, the reason didn't matter.

Sounds good, what time? He responded, his thoughts started drifting back to last weekend when he heard Hale's voice.

"Who you talking to?" Caesar asked, his voice curious and laughing, Toll looked over at him, not feeling the need to say anything, he knew Caesar knew. When Tolls phone went off again, a second later, Hale asked disdainfully. "Damn, now you gonna start acting like Christmas?" Gunnar snickered, and chimed "we only need one of those."

Toll ignored them and opened the text, 7:30?

He responded. That works, I'll see you then..

The next comment Hale made came in the form of a question, "did you read my present?" Toll managed to keep his embarrassment in check, even though his ears felt hot "No." Caesar looked at him, giving him a disgusted look and shaking his head. "I go through all the trouble of helping you out and you don't even read the damn thing?" The question was rhetorical, but Toll still felt the need to answer, with his own question, his voice sarcastic. "Did I ask for your help?" Hale scoffed, "she ain't going to wait around forever." Gunnar laughed and interjected, sarcastically, "I'm surprised she's around at all." His eyes going to Gunnar that comment stung, and played off his insecurities. Tolls attention went back to Hale, "She isn't waiting around at all, we're just friends." He said defensively.

Barney set leaning back in his chair arms folded over his chest, watching Toll Road, noting how he still used the word friend like a shield. He also noticed, he was not handling Caesars teasing well, especially not when Gunnar threw in his barb. He bet, Tolls feelings for the girl had moved way past friend.

Tool noticed quickly how touchy Toll got after Gunnar made his comment, he glanced at Barney, whose expression was as impassive as ever. But he also knew his friend well enough to know, he was most likely trying to gauge Tolls reaction. Anyone could tell Toll felt something for her but Tool didn't know if he'd ever get up the nerve to tell her. Someone might need to suggest to her that if she wanted Road, she might need to do the asking.

After a moment Yang spoke up, "maybe, easy way to answer question, is ask her." Everyone's attention turned to Yang, "I'm sick of hearing 'bout it; she maybe say no and maybe say yes. I think she say yes." Hale scoffed, his voice sounding annoyed, "that's what I've tried to tell him."

"No, you been laughing at him." Yang said, for a second Hale looked like he was going to argue, then agreeing with Yang, he said "ya that too." His expression comical. They all laughed except Toll, which only made Hale laugh harder. Toll Road, himself spoke up, "can we find something else to discuss, besides Mac."

Barney complied with his request, steering the conversation into safer waters. He brought up that he'd like some help at the hangar, at some point this week to move some shit around. Then added sarcastically, they wouldn't do it till at least Wednesday, because he knew Lee wouldn't want to miss out.

Toll listened only partially to the conversation, his mind on their recent topic, apparently Yang had decided it was open season also. Coming from his quiet Chinese friend the words seemed different.. Maybe she say no, maybe she say yes. I think she say yes.. Toll went to sleep thinking about those words, and how different she seemed last weekend and today, try as he might, he hadn't been able to rid himself of the way she'd looked at him a week ago either. His mind drifting to that book again, he'd never been confident with women, he couldn't read them and he'd never known what to say. Talking with Mac was easier than most women, he still didn't know what to say most of the time but she didn't seem to mind. Shed teased him today about his short, clipped answer today but really she didn't seem bothered by his inarticulate nature. Maybe he should read that book, he thought just before he fell asleep...

* * *

He opened his front door to see her walking up his sidewalk, he paused, a smile coming to his lips. Her long hair pulled back in a pony tail, black tank top and short work out shorts on. She gave him a beguiling smile, her bright eyes twinkling like normal, her cheeks faintly flushed, he just stared at for a moment, thinking how beautiful she looked, then returned her smile. Wishing he knew what that new light in her eyes meant, much as he had yesterday, when she reached him, he realized he still stood in the open doorway. Her eyes now dancing with amusement, he had the feeling she'd also noticed his lack of movement.

Mac smiled at him, when he opened the door, after a minute he returned her a smile, and Mac felt her breath catch. She'd been nervous last night when she'd texted him, but seeing him this morning made her so glad she did. He always had this effect on her, nervous and uncertain one second, happy the next. Being close to him had started to make her feel so... She didn't know the word for it, just something, that made her chest feel tight and it became hard to breath; she watched him not moving standing in the doorway, wondering what he was thinking.

"Are you ready?" She asked, her eyes traveling down his face, pausing on his lips. "Yea." He answered, his own eyes, studying her. Stepping out the door, he turned and locked it. Mac stepped back waiting for him.

* * *

They finished their run in front of her house as they had the first time all those months ago, the memory bringing a faint smile to Tolls face. She looked up at him hands on her hips, eyes bright from the exertion, cheeks flushed a healthy shade of pink. Her eyes drifting to his lips, then traveling back up to meet his, her smile broadened. Toll felt himself return her smile, neither saying a word, she just smiled at him almost expectantly. His gaze traveling past her to her driveway, "a jeep, huh?" He asked.

Mac smiled up at him and said, "yeah." Tolls gaze came back to her, "I like them." She smiled faintly, her eyes traveling over his face, "me too." Mac dropped her gaze a moment, knowing if she wanted to spend more time with him she would have to ask. The idea of asking him to breakfast had seemed so much easier in theory, then it did now that she found herself faced with it. She wished he didn't make her feel so strange, and uncertain, she thought this would be easy, but it wasn't. The thought of asking him this simple question made her feel so uncertain, and shy. You can do this, she told herself.

Toll watched her gaze drop away from his, wishing he was brave enough to take Yang's advice, wishing he knew why something seemed so different, suddenly her bright eyes came back to his. She gave him a shy smile, fidgeting with the white piping on her shorts, "Do you want to go have breakfast?" She asked her voice sounding hesitant.

Then waited, her smile faltering slightly when he didn't immediately answer, he just stood there staring down at her, she looked anxious, her fingers picking a the piping on her shorts. Her hesitant mannerisms, making him question the change in her demeanor again, her behavior at the moment seemed unaccountably shy for a breakfast invite between friends. He wanted this change in her he was seeing to mean, she saw him as a man.

He studied her a moment more, then said, "yes." His voice coming out scratchy, a smile appearing on his face. Mac released the breath she'd didn't realize she'd been holding, an answering smile blooming on her lips. "We can take my Jeep and I'll even let you drive." She said, her voice teasing, He studied her a moment, his eyes moving to her lips, "oh really." He said, his eyes coming back to hers.

She quickly dropped her gaze, the look he gave her making her feel the need to fidget more and turning her cheeks pink. She hazarded another glance at him, a faint smile played around his lips, the light in his eyes different then moments ago, causing her skin to tingle. He said, his voice low, "then I better go get my wallet."

Toll looked down at her, watching her quickly look away, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. He felt his smile soften, along with something inside him, what he wouldn't give, he wished Yang and Caesar were right. The thought causing his chest to tighten, she looked up at him, "I better go get my wallet then." He said, knowing if he didn't speak he stand there staring at her.

They were just getting ready to get in Macs Jeep when Liam pulled up, one look at him and Mac knew why he was here, "please," she whispered. Please, not now she pleaded. But as he parked she knew, no matter how much she wished other wise, it had happened.

Toll watched her brother pull up noting he didn't look happy, and Mac instantly tensed, her posture going rigid.

Liam shut of off his truck and got out, walking toward them, he nodded at Toll and turned his attention back to Mac saying, "we need to talk." In an effort to put this off till a more opportune moment, she said, "can we talk later? We were just getting ready to leave." Holding his eyes, "no, we need to talk now, sis." A sickening feeling settling in the pit of her stomach, she resigned herself. Then turned her attention to Toll, "I'll go home." He said. "No, just wait for me, this won't take long." She knew how this would go, Liam would tell her what she already knew, she'd tell him she knew and he'd leave.

Toll watched them walk toward the house, feeling uncomfortable, what was going on he didn't know. But her brothers intensity, made him feel like he should go, but she wanted him to wait so he would. He walked over and leaned against the grille of her Jeep.

Mac wanted this conversation to take place out of Tolls earshot, she led Liam up the porch steps, then around the side of the house, realizing belatedly, Toll had her keys and she'd locked her house. At the end of the porch she opened the gate and led him into the backyard. Taking a deep breath she turned and looked up at Liam, "he's back Mac." Liam stated, Mac watched her brother closely, noting the anger and worry lining his feature, Liam went on before she replied. "Kyle saw him this morning, at the gas station near his house." She knew instantly, she shouldn't have kept this from him, Mac nodded and said, "I know." She dropped her gaze from Liam's, feeling guilty.

Liam stared down at her, saying nothing as it sunk in she'd known. Angry, beyond reason he asked all but hollering, "what?"

Macs face turned red at the sound of Liam's voice, she looked up at him, "please keep it down."

"Keep it down," he said his voice devoid of emotion, "keep it down." He said again his voice angry.

"Yes," Mac said desperately not wanting Toll to hear them.

"How long have you known?" He asked ignoring her comment, his anger boiling over, she'd known and she hadn't told him. "Why? How do you know?" Mac just stared up at him helpless, the idea of this conversation was proving a lot less difficult than the reality, she didn't know how to tell him. Liam watched her a moment and it clicked, he knew. "He's been in contact." He said his voice, deathly quiet, he knew his sister.

When Mac didn't respond just dropped her gaze from him again, he asked, "when?"

"Last weekend." She answered still not meeting his gaze, then quickly added in defense, "he stopped by to tell me was back, he didn't want me to hear it from someone else." She glanced up at him quickly, he looked like he wanted to strangle her. "He was here?" Liam asked incredulously. "Yes." She answered feeling sick to her stomach. He turned starting to walk off, Mac reached out and grabbed his arm, "listen to me," she began her voice pleading, worrying about what he'd do, "he didn't come here to start trouble, he came to tell me came back because his moms sick. He wanted me to tell you, he'd stay away from me and I believe him." Liam turned looking down at her, even more furious and said, "don't make excuses for him Kamron or try to protect him, after what he did..." Liam paused another thought coming to mind, he asked, "have you told your new friend?" Mac shook her head no.

Liam pulled his arm from Macs grip, and turned, "wait, Liam what are you going to do?" She asked desperately, he paused not looking back at her, his look dark. "I'm going to discuss something's with Neal."

This was exactly why she hadn't told him, he had more important things to worry about, "remember Beth and Charlotte please." She pleaded, worrying what he might do. Belatedly remembering he'd questioned if she had told Toll anything, she rushed behind him, and said, "please, don't say anything to Toll, I don't want him to know." Liam tensed and turned around, walking toward her, the look in his eyes murderous, "and that's the problem, isn't it?" He asked his voice more than angry. He stopped directly in front of her, "you never want anyone to know anything, you hid the first time from me. I bet if he hadn't bruised your face all up the last time, I wouldn't know about that either, you wouldn't tell mom and dad. You wouldn't call the cops, he's gone you kept saying and I don't wanna be a victim. News flash Mac, hiding from all this makes you a victim. But the worst part is he's back, he's been here and you didn't tell me, it's almost like you're protecting him. Damn it Mac, he nearly killed you before." His look turning harder, "but don't worry, I won't tell your new friend anything, far be it from me to tell anybody anything, you don't want them to know." His voice laced with mocking sarcasm.

She watched Liam walk off, of all the reactions she'd imagined this wasn't one of them, she'd known he'd be mad, but she hadn't expected this. She felt like someone had just punched her in the stomach. She wasn't trying to protect Neal, she just didn't want the whole sordid affair brought up again.

Toll heard some of their argument, not the words themselves, but the volume of Liam's voice, his concern didn't lesson when her brother stepped into view. He looked furious, like he wanted to kill someone. He glanced at Toll on his way by and said, "she's all yours and good luck with that." Then continued to storm off toward his truck. Toll waited a few moments watching her brother drive off and when she didn't reappear, his concern grew, he went looking for her. Wondering what could have happened to make Liam react this way. He didn't know him, had never even spoken to him but listening to Mac talk about him, it was obvious they had a close relationship, closer than most adult siblings.

She heard him coming but still after a moment when he asked, "Mac? Are you alright?" His voice hesitant and full of concern, it startled her. Knowing he was there just made it harder for a moment. She reached up and brushed a wayward tear from her eye and nodded saying "yeah." She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and turned around, her eyes focusing on his chest, not able to look him in the eye. "Mac?" He questioned again his voiced worried, when she didn't answer he asked. "Do you want me to go?" His voice uncertain.

"No," she said abruptly, her eyes meeting his for a second, then moving away from him entirely. Then thought yes, confusing herself, she didn't want him to go, but she didn't want him to stay either.

Toll studied her closely, not knowing what to say, she looked like she was trying hard to collect herself. She looked troubled and upset, her gaze coming to him again then quickly moving away. He felt a nearly overwhelming need to ask her what happened, she looked so upset and lost, ignoring the part of him that pushed him to ask. Whatever had happened was private, if she wanted him to know she'd tell him, he told himself.

Mac took a deep breath, his presence helping to calm her, she glanced up at him, his eyes were on her, she quickly looked away. Wondering what he must think, she knew he wouldn't ask any questions, he'd let her tell him, what she wanted to tell him. Grateful in the knowledge he wouldn't push her she said, " Let's go eat."

Toll watched her a moment more, still concerned, his eyes traveling down her face, "alright."

Toll remained watchful of her, throughout the ride to the restaurant and breakfast, she wasn't herself not at all, whatever their argument was over it upset her. Part of him wanted to know, why they'd argued, but he knew he had no right to ask. But still he wanted to know what happened, what would make Liam yell at her.

They pulled into Macs yard an hour or so later, Mac knew Toll felt concerned, she could feel it, and see it. She also knew she hadn't helped, she'd been distant and preoccupied ever since Liam left. She should have asked him if they could skip breakfast but she'd wanted him close, his presence was soothing. She reached out grabbing the door handle and opened the door. Toll hadn't gotten out yet either, she turned her head in his direction, she gave him a faint smile.

"What are you going to do today?" Toll asked, telling himself it was simply something asked out of concern and to break the silence and nothing to do with wanting to stay close to her. She still looked so shaken. Her eyes drifted to his lips then traveled back to his, "playing hooky." She answered a faint smile on her face, then she continued, "maybe I'll go explore some French quarter shops or go to the beach." Her eyes filled with that far off look again, dropping from his and focusing on a point past his shoulder. "What about you?" She asked after a moment her eyes coming back to his. Toll held her gaze, feelings swirling inside him, the tone of her voice and the unguarded expression on her face, making him want to make her smile, he answered. "Not much."

Macs gaze shifted from his again, then came back, "will you come with me?" She asked, her eyes coming back to his, her voice coming out a whisper. Tolls brow furrowed, the way she was looking at him, her troubled eyes open, telling him she wanted him with her, he felt like someone had put a vise around his chest. He nodded his head, and said, "yea." She gave him the first real smile he'd seen since before Liam showed up, it was radiant and genuine and it brought an answering one to his own face. "In that case can we take your bike?" She asked that smile still on her face, Toll chuckled lightly, at the eager look in her eyes, "and that's why you want me to go." He said teasingly, then added, "yea, we can take it." Mac smiled and got out of the Jeep, turned and watched him walk toward her, she said, "I need to shower, though." Toll smiled and said, "me too."


	18. Chapter 17

**First of all I would like to thank everyone who has read, reviewed my story, and favorited/followed! Thanks! **

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Barney Ross, climbed into his low, sleek black '55 f-100 to make the trip across town, carefully shutting the door. He put the keys in the ignition and started it up, the sound causing his lip to twitch, he loved the rumble of the well tuned 347. The sound vibrating off the walls of the garage, making the windows in the truck itself shake. He backed out of his garage and down the driveway, then carefully into the street, his hand went to the hearse shifter, he slid it into first and eased the throttle down. The rumble from the engine and exhaust causing the truck to vibrate more, he found the sensation exhilarating, the small hairs on his arms standing up. She didn't sound like a truck he mused, more like an animal. For which he'd paid dearly when he built her.

He'd always been a car guy, since he was a child, some of his fondest memories centered around his dads 57 Chevy, painted flat black. A built 350 under the hood, he could still remember that rumbling sound, you could feel it in the ground. When he was young the sounds and feelings associated with that car always gave him chills. His father would take her and go to Tennessee every few months, to help his uncle run shine. The idea of that dangerous lifestyle he'd found very appealing. He'd planned briefly, in his youth to follow in his dad's footstep, running bootleg whiskey with his uncle. But the Army had come calling and without a doubt, been the better life plan.

When he was fifteen he'd bought an old dodge, from a neighbor, tore the engine down with his dads help, painted her primer black. And hit every dirt road quarter-mile he could find.

Out of all the cars he'd built through the years it remained a toss-up which was his favorite, that old dodge or this truck. He still remembered the day he'd had no choice but to destroy the latter, with trepidation and sorrow, but with a lot of work and Gunnar's help, he'd managed to find another and between the two build this one.

Shaking of the thoughts of that time when Gunnar had lost it, sold them out and tried to kill Yang. Leaving Barney with no choice but to shoot him, he should have died, but somehow he managed to come back from the dead like the Lazarus man. It was shortly after that, that Road had encouraged him to find a therapist. He wasn't certain Gunnar had taken the advice but he'd been good so Barney wasn't concerned.

He reached out turning on the radio, Copperhead Road greeted him. A smirk came to his lips, somehow the song seemed appropriate. Dismissing the thought of Gunnar and reminiscing about his youth. He focused on the task at hand, he needed to go find Toll Road and pick up some artillery boxes and ammo cans, he had at his house. He suspected Road had plans with Mac this morning. Caesar had asked him if he wanted to go to breakfast this morning and Toll said he couldn't. He thought maybe he should call first to make sure he was around but had decided if he interrupted something it might work to his benefit. And if not, well maybe it was time for him to say something. He knew Tool thought he should stay out of it but watching Road he didn't know if that was something he was willing to do any longer. After last night, and Tolls reaction to Yang's comment. Road had clammed up instantly and wanted a change of subject. The clamming up wasn't really anything new, but something more accompanied it, a strange intensity. He had remained preoccupied for the rest of the evening. His behavior compelled Barney to get to the bottom of it once and for all.

The last conversation Barney had with Tool about them, Tool had still remained adamant about the fact, he really thought the girl liked Road. But personally he still questioned it, if something, looked to good to be true, then it usually was... Like any man in his profession he learned to work off what instinct told him, and instinct still made him question her motives. After all Toll was not the type of man to attract a beautiful, outgoing, successful young women, twenty years younger than him. He didn't like thinking that way about his friend but sometimes you had to call a spade a spade.

Pulling up in front of Macs house Toll shut off his bike and waited. Thinking about the part of the day they'd already spent together, her whispered question still in his mind. If she wanted him close he'd wouldn't tell her no, he wanted her close as well. Shed been distant since her brother's departure and it made him worry, she wasn't her normal playful self. She hadn't eaten much at breakfast, just pushed her food around the plate and he knew from experience she had a healthy appetite. But it was how distant she'd been as if lost in another time and place that really bothered him. There was the good chance, if she hadn't asked him to come with her, he would have ended up suggesting something himself.

For once he hadn't cautioned himself about her reasons, if she wanted him close, she'd get him. Just for today he wasn't going to worry about tomorrow or falling farther, just for today he planned to let life happen and be the friend she needed. He'd worry later.

He looked up when she stepped onto the porch, she turned and locked the door before she looked at him, when she did her soft smile caught him off guard, it was almost humbling to know after whatever happened with her and her brother this morning, she wanted to spend time with him. Her eyes held an equally disarming quality, the green brighter than normal, and for a moment he felt at a loss.

She dropped her gaze from his, he allowed his eyes to do the same, she looked good as usual, she wore a tight-fitting black jacket that ended at the low waist of her dark blue jeans that fit her nicely. His eyes wandered lower, traveling down her denim clad legs, to the black boots that began just below her knees. He'd always liked women in boots like that, but he thought he might just like her dressed like that better than the others.

He stood when she got closer holding her bright gaze, he handed her the helmet saying nothing, just watching her. He searched her eyes for a moment, still not liking what he saw there. She smiled faintly, as if she was trying to reassure him, she reached out and took the helmet from his hands, her attention going to the task of putting it on.

Toll turned and stepped over his bike setting down again, feeling her hands go to his shoulders, then slide farther down his back as her weight settled on the bike behind him. He turned his head, "where to?" He asked not certain where she wanted to go. She thought about it, doubting he would enjoy the crowded French quarter, so she decided to place the decision in his hands, she answered, "wherever you want to go." Toll turned his body more so he could see her better, he hadn't expected that, he held her gaze for a moment. "Alright." He said, turning forward after a moment, he started his bike, uncertain. He felt her hands go to his sides and fist in the leather of his jacket.

He came to a stop at the end of the street and he felt her arms slide around him. He glanced down, at her left hand clasping her right wrist against him abdomen. Her body shifted moving closer, he smiled faintly, turning left at the end of the street, he knew where he'd take her but first he planned on keeping her on his bike for while. He liked to feel of her slender arms around him.

Mac watched him turn away from her, she didn't really care where they went as long as she was with him. When she'd asked him to do this with her, shed really just wanted the closeness. She wanted to forget Neal, Liam, all of it really. Content to just be on the back of his bike, close to him.

Toll left the city and headed south, he'd taken the same route with her once before, this time though, he followed the peninsula into the gulf. Memories of their first real ride together assailed him when he passed the turnout, where he stopped with her the first time, the way she'd looked at him, the feel of her close. But mostly he remembered how vehemently not wanted that day to end, afraid he would never have another like it. Something inside him shifted, when he felt her arms tighten around him marginally, he hoped it was because she was remembering.

Mac watched the miles role by, knowing he followed this same road with her once before. If she was honest with herself, she started to realize she wanted more from him that day. When they passed the turnout where he stopped with her all those months ago, she could help but think about the fact she'd wondered about kissing him the first time in that very spot. Her arms tightening around him at the memory.

Toll drove a few miles further and pulled off into a picnic area, he parked and shut off his bike. He felt her arms untangle from around his waist, he reached back to steady her, his hand gripping her elbow. When she swung her leg over his bike, he reluctantly let go and watched as she pulled off the helmet. She smiled at him, then looked around curious, she'd never been here before, a thick line of trees separated them from the water, she could see the gulf through the it. A trail led toward the trees, and to the beach.

In the distance she could hear the roar of the surf crashing into the land, and scream of the gulls overhead. She smiled faintly she loved the smell of the salt air. She breathed deeply, letting it fill her lungs, she loved the ocean.

Much to Barney's irritation he found when he arrived at Toll Roads, he was gone. He waited a few minutes, thinking maybe he'd appear, when he didn't he called him. Getting no answer, he didn't leave him a message, just hung up.

Toll stayed on his bike after she'd gotten off, she turned surveying their surroundings, while he surveyed her. His eyes traveling over her, she still seemed tense and upset. He brought her here because the view from the beach below was magnificent and she mentioned the beach this morning. And because he had, in the past came and walked this stretch of beach when he felt troubled, the undertow made it a not so desirable stretch of beach for families and tourists. Making it private and quiet, the perfect place to forget. He hoped she liked it.

He stood swinging his leg over the seat, and took off his helmet, his eyes fixed on her, she still stood with her back to him, her helmet hanging from her hand. He stepped forward and reached for it gently pulling it from her fingers, bringing her attention back to him.

Mac turned when she felt him take the helmet from her, she watched him his back to her as he placed their helmets on the seat. Her gaze fixed on his shoulders in that black leather jacket, he filled it out nicely, she decided earlier, but then again he filled out everything well. He turned after he removed his jacket and looked down at her, his eyes drifting over her upturned face. The look in his eyes unsettling, his gaze moved over her face, then came back to her eyes.

Mac felt her breath catch slightly, watching him, knowing she wanted this closeness with him, did nothing to quell the butterflies swarming in her stomach. If anything, admitting it only made it worse, she could be with him everyday like this and still not get used to the way he looked at her. The idea of being with him everyday, making her skin feel warm.

They followed the trail to the beach, Toll walking behind her, watching her intently, she moved gracefully he thought. He chastised himself for the stupidly poetic thought. He focused on not tripping over one of the many rocks sticking up out of the path, he'd feel really intelligent if he tripped because he was to busy watching her to watch the path. She looked back at him her eyes filled with that softer quality, along with that thing he couldn't ever name. A faint smile tugging at her lips, Toll returned the gesture, what he wouldn't give to see that look in her eyes every time she looked at him.

"It's beautiful," Mac said after they left the trees, her eyes traveling along the beach. "I didn't even know this was here." Her eyes slowly coming to him, he smiled down at her, his eyes drifting to her lips. "Yeah, most people don't. It's not ideal for families, the undertow is really strong."

Macs eyes traveled to his lips momentarily, then came back to his eyes. She asked a soft smile playing around her lips, "how did you know it was here?" He didn't answer immediately, his gaze roaming over her, the wind blowing off the ocean whipping her hair around her shoulders and across her face. For a moment he thought about reaching out and brushing the hair way, holding her face in his hands and leaning down... Stopping the thought, he answered, "I found this place a longtime ago." His gaze holding hers, Mac felt herself flush, the look in his eyes and the timber of his voice, making her skin tingle.

She reached up, brushing the hair from her face and tried to confine it behind her ear, while she found her voice. Caught in his gaze she asked, her voice faint, "so this is a place you come?" Blushing more, still unable to pull her gaze for his, she desperately wanted to know.

Toll held her gaze watching her brush her hair behind her ear, her eyes on him, a blush staining her cheeks. Stopping himself from stepping closer, he answered, "I used to come here, but it's been a longtime." The soft smile that stole across her face, compelled him to say more, "I thought you might like it." She blushed more, her gaze dropping from his, she bit her lip. The familiar feeling of confusion setting in, he heard Yang's words from last night.

She heard his words, the knowledge, she'd wanted making her blush harder. Pulling her gaze from his, she knew she was going to fall so hard for him, she already was. She wanted him desperately, and not just in the physical sense she wanted all of him. She bit down on her bottom lip, the though causing her skin to feel tight and heat to swirl in her stomach. What would it be like to belong to this quiet man, a voice inside of her whispered. Macs gaze came back to him but only for a moment, afraid to hold his gaze any longer she turned and started to walk toward the surf.

Toll watched her gaze come back to his, his body tensing, her beautiful eyes filled with a bewildered look, then she turned taking her gaze with her. And left him to watch, as she walked toward the surf, his heart pounding... He took a shaky breath. Shoving all the doubts and uncertainties that were filling his head aside, reminding himself, he decided to just be here for her today and not worry.

After a moment he followed her, catching up with her easily. She glanced up at him shyly but didn't say a word. Her gaze quickly returning to scenery surrounding them. They walked along the shoreline, close together, neither saying anything.

He watched her more than he should as they walked, fascinated by her movements, finding her constant fidgeting enchanting. She was fighting a loosing battle with her hair, every time she brushed it behind her ear or over one shoulder the wind promptly rearranged it. Making the shiny, soft looking mass tangle. "Why don't you tuck it inside your coat?" He suggested tenderly drawing her attention. She looked up at him surprised and smiled, "now why didn't I think of that." She said, stopping to unzip her jacket she tucked it in but before she'd even zipped her jacket all the way, the wind had pulled some of it loose.

Walking side by side with him so close their arms nearly brushed several times, she felt thankful he was here with her, unbidden her mind drifted to her argument with Liam. She called him before she got in the shower this morning and he hadn't answered. She hadn't really expected him too. She had hung up and called Beth, Beth had answered, she'd already known what happened. Liam had come home furious and Beth had talked him down some. She told Mac, he had every intention of finding Neal. Telling her to just let him do it, and assuring her in a day or two Liam would calm down. Mac hated fighting with him and the drama that all of this would stir up. She also knew she shouldn't have kept what she knew from Liam, it made her feel nauseous. It was badly done. Shaking her head, not wanting to find herself swamped with those emotions.

Focusing on something, anything beside the events of this morning, she changed direction and walked to a large piece of driftwood, and set down pulling her right leg into her lap. She looked up at him and smiled as she unzipped the zipper that ran along the inside of her calf. Her attention going back to her boots, Toll watched her slightly bemused, after a moment he realized she intended to walk barefoot. Finding the idea ridiculously cute, a smile appearing on his face, he hadn't done that since he was a teenager. She surprised him when she asked, "do you have family?"

Mac had asked the question out of general curiosity, she'd thought of so many things she wanted to ask him, things she was curious about. And wanting something to focus on besides the events of the morning, shed asked. But she second guessed herself, the moment the question came out. He was a very private man, she looked up at him.

Taken aback by her question he held her gaze a moment, he'd never get used to her curiosity. As far as questions went, it wasn't unusual, at least not for normal people. But for him it was something that he wasn't asked often nor something he liked to discuss but after a moment more he answered. "Not really, my parents are dead." Not mentioning his brother or the fact, he wasn't sure if he was still alive or not. He hadn't spoken to Paul since their father died eighteen years ago. He hadn't handled Tolls transition to mercenary any better than their father had.

Mac finished removing her boots, while he answered, her eyes coming to him. The thought that he had no family making her sad. "I'm so sorry Toll." Then added, "it's good you have good friends," not knowing what else to say. Holding his gaze she had no idea what he might be thinking, he said what people say, when you express sorrow for a loss. "It's alright, and I know I'm fortunate." Selfishly, she found herself wondering if he included her in the friends he felt fortunate to have. Shoving the thought aside, she stood, picked up her boots, and said "let's go."

She smiled up at him when he fell into step beside her once again, he surprised her when he asked, "what about your family?" Macs smile brightened as she replied, "um, well my dad is a shipwright, my moms never really worked. She always took care of us." She glanced up at him quickly, he smiled at her faintly. She turned her gaze back to the beach and continued, "my dads a second generation immigrant, and my moms a Scotch-Irish girl from Boston." Surprised again when he asked, "immigrant?"

"Ya, Scottish." She replied, from that moment she talked and he listened, asking the occasional question. She told him about school, about her childhood. Telling stories about her and Liam as children, and her one trip overseas. He had asked about her choice to go to culinary school, she told him, she wanted to backpack across Europe, her father wanted her to go to business school. So they'd compromised as she put it. She told him South Africa was on her list of places to see, she wanted to go cape buffalo hunting apparently. He listened amused, and laughed with her. She seemed less upset when he eventually asked, "are you ready to eat?" Smiling up at him, she nodded and said "yes." Then added, scrunching up her nose, "my feet are cold." His smile broadened, watching her eyes twinkle. He said his voice playfully, "I wonder why." His gaze dropping to her bare feet, her toes curly into the sand. She even had cute feet, he mused.

They walked back along the beach in amicable silence, stopping at the end of the trail that led back to the picnic area, Mac set down on a rock dropping her boots on the sand beside her feet, she looked up at him and smiled. She put her feet on the rock in front of her and brushed the sand from them, her attention went to the chore of putting on her socks and boots, nearly toppling of the rock in the process. She looked up at him smiling, he watched her amused, his arms folded over his chest. For some reason his amusement made her blush, she jumped up smiling at him, she eyed him playfully. "And apparently chivalry is dead, again!" She said arching an eyebrow. Tolls grinned, remembering the last time she'd accused him of not being chivalrous. Trying to look affronted, she gave him a dirty look and said, "jackass!" This time he chuckled, but still didn't comment. She glared up at him trying to look offended and said, "seems your _not_ being a gentleman at the moment, you can go first." Gesturing toward the path in front of them.

Mac settled on his bike behind him again, her arms sliding around his waist, she shifted closer, wrapping her arms more tightly around him. Hoping he didn't plan on taking her home after lunch, she didn't want the day to end yet.

She sighed when they pulled into a diner a few miles away, wishing they had driven farther before he stopped. Then reminded herself she would be on the back of his bike again soon. "So," he asked as he got off the bike. "After lunch, do you want to go back?" No! Her mind screamed, but she said, "if you want." Toll smiled at her his eyes drifting over face, was that disappointment he saw in her eyes when she answered, he wondered. Ignoring the uncertainty settling in his stomach, he said "if you don't have anything else to do, I have an idea."

Mac smiled brightly up at him, so glad he wasn't dropping her off just yet. The idea that he had something else in mind, making her stomach flutter, she said, "id like that."

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**So for anyone out there that knows they actually auctioned off the truck they used in the first movie, I brought it back simply because, well, I felt it deserved some attention! And also I know it isn't ****really a '55 it's a '56 customized to look like a fifty-five, incase anyone reads this that knows the history, but I didn't feel the need to get into all that! And on another note, to all of you that might not like the fact, Barney's dad ran moonshine some during Barney's childhood. Well, I happened to listen to Copperhead Road while I was writing this chapter, and I ran with it. So I'd like to apologize! **


	19. Chapter 18

**So, I know it took **** a few days for this chapter, I thought I had all figured out but alas, that wasn't the case. I hope it proves worth the wait!**

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**Someday I'll wish upon a star**  
**Wake up where the clouds are far behind me ee ee eeh**  
**Where trouble melts like lemon drops**  
**High above the chimney tops ****that's where you'll find me- Israel Kamakawiwo'ole**

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Mac unlocked the door and ran up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. Goose on her heals, a smile on her lips, the infuriating man wouldn't give her a hint at all about what he had planned. He hadn't said to hurry but she couldn't help it rushing into her room. She hurried to her dresser, finding the appropriate attire quickly, she reached up and unzipped her coat than tossed it in the general direction of her bed. Reaching down and unbuttoning her jeans, her smile broadened, her stomach doing a flip. The only hint he'd given her, being what cloths to put on. And than only suggesting, she wore workout cloths, and no shorts like she'd had on this morning.

Toll unlocked his door walking inside, he pulled his phone out and checked it for the first time today, one missed call the screen said. Pausing he flipped the phone open, Barney, he thought in surprise, wondering if he'd missed something last night. Was he supposed to meet him today? He hit call, when Barney didn't answer he left him a brief message. Then quickly dismissed the thought of what he could want, his mind focusing instead on changing his cloths. He hoped Mac liked what he had planned. The little brat had teased and nagged him all through lunch about where they were going. He hadn't told her a thing, he hadn't planned or thought about it being a surprise. But her reaction had been so enchanting, he couldn't help but tease and play with her.

He told himself, her preoccupation with what he wanted to do with her, had chased away the rest of her unease,and that's why he didn't tell her what he had planned. Ignoring the fact, that in her eagerness she'd reminded him of a child, so adorably excited, she could hardly contain herself. Selfishly, wanting to keep her in the dark so shed continue to pester him, he couldn't help it, as usual she made it easy, for him to forget himself.

She didn't realize the more she tried to charm him, the less likely he was to tell her a thing.

She was in the bathroom brushing her hair when she heard the knock on her door, she ducked her head, an instant blush staining her cheeks. She rushed out of her room hurried to the railing by the stairs, she hollered, "come in." Goose rushed past her and down the stairs, when the door opened. Catching Toll off guard, as he stepped inside, nearly knocking him over in the process. Macs laughter drawing his attention up the stairs, as he squatted down to pet Goose, saying, "hi boy." His gazing catching on hers, where she leaned against the railing, her cheeks pink, eyes dancing with amusement. "I'll be ready in just a minute," She said laughter in her voice. She quickly disappeared toward her room, then reappearing at the railing, she added, "make yourself at home, get something to drink or whatever." Toll nodded, a smile on his face.

Mac came downstairs within five minutes, her long hair pulled back, her smile bright, eyes dancing. Toll watched her, the knowledge that he'd had something to do with that smile, making his chest tighten. Suddenly, wanting her to always smile like that and quickly realizing he was heading into dangerous territory with that thought. He shook it off. He said, "You really shouldn't holler come in, unless you know who's there, Mac."

She gave him a bright smile her cheeks flushed, "But,I knew it was you!" Toll smiled at her, he couldn't help it, the tone of her voice, sounded cute and playful. Reminding him of her behavior at lunch but still, he said, "I'm sure you did Mac, but you really should be more careful." Thinking about the times he'd seen, she left her door unlocked, "and you shouldn't leave your door unlocked, ever." She gave him a confused look, noticing how serious he had suddenly become, she said. "I don't anymore." Thinking about Neal's recent visit, she quickly shoved the thought aside. He watched her for a moment, trying to figure out if she was trying to placate him, he finally respond, "that's good, there are a lot of crazy people out there." She nodded taken slightly of guard by how serious he sounded and looked, he surprised her when he continued. "You, living here, in this house alone is asking for trouble." Mac nodded she didn't know what else to do, his tone more grave now then before, belatedly she said, "I know, I'm careful." He didn't argue the point that leaving her door unlocked especially, when she was out of the house wasn't careful, he simply said meaningfully, "make sure that you are."

Embarrassed by his own response to her simply hollering come in, he drove lost in thought for a bit. He knew it had bothered him that she'd left her door unlocked before and he thought about saying something to her a few times. But how he'd just responded wasn't how he intended to talk to her about it, he thought about suggesting that she keep her doors locked and point out that a women living alone made an easy target. The problem being she wasn't just any women living alone, she was the one he wanted...

She watched him out of the corner her eye, preoccupied as he appeared, he didn't notice her attention. She felt a soft smile spread across her lips, a warm feeling slowly spread through her body. His words, and concern?... Had made that softness spread throughout her body, he made her feel special. No matter how cheesy it might sound, special was how she felt at the moment. She turned her head looking out the window, nipping her bottom lip, that soft smile still on her face. She drew a shaky breath, she wanted that protectiveness, no one had ever been that way with her in her adult life. Ignoring the warmth settling in an inconvenient place, she asked.

"So?" drawing him from his own thoughts and bringing his gaze to her, she gave him her most beguiling smile, her eyes expectant. He chucked and shook his head, his attention drifting back to the road. "Oh come on!" She said, her voice sounding exasperated, he looked at her again. "No." He said, chuckling again, "patience, Mac." She made a humphing noise and dramatically shrugged her shoulders, giving him a dirty look. He laughed, the sound coming from deep in his chest. She proceeded to ignore him, she kept her gaze fixedly on the road. After about ten more minutes of the silent treatment, he said," we're almost there, you can stop nagging now." Laughter in his voice.

"Nagging?" She exclaimed, then added sarcastically, "I haven't spoken to you in the last ten minutes; are you sure you don't want to stop and blindfold me."

"Blindfold." He said thoughtfully, then continued "that wouldn't stop the nagging." His voice playful, then he added his voice at a lower octave, sounding sarcastic, "a gag might help though." Macs eyes widened, her gaze instantly going to him, for a moment completely speechless, "you're mean!" She exclaimed, her eyes twinkling.

Toll glanced at her, instantly embarrassed, he couldn't believe he'd just said that to her. Her green eyes twinkled with amusement and laughter, an entertained smirk on her lips, "you're mean!" She exclaimed, with a laugh, her expression and the sound of her laughter making him laugh also.

Toll pulled into the business and parked before he looked at her. Suddenly, nervous about the choice he'd made, reminding himself she'd told him she wanted to try it. He wanted her to like this idea, for it to make all the pestering she'd done today worth while, in her eyes.

Mac looked at the building her eyes instantly going to the sign, it read Rock Sport, then underneath the business name it said "New Orléans foremost indoor rock climbing." Mac felt that soft feeling steel through her body again, surprised, her gaze shifted from the sign on the building to him.

He turned and looked at her, his eyes meeting hers, at first her expression made him uneasy. Then he noticed, the smile playing around her lips, and light in her eyes changing. Her smile broadened and excitement filled her eyes, she shook her head slightly, her smile brightening. Toll held her gaze and asked still a little uncertain, "is this ok?" She nodded, "it's perfect." He'd done it again, she mused.

Toll looked down at her as they entered the building, he'd never been here, only seen the place. He knew he could have come up with a more private place to take her but needing to keep some distance between fantasy and reality, he decided this would be best. His decision to not let his uncertainty get in the way today, had made the waters murky. He didn't trust himself, if he'd taken her and taught her on his own, he didn't know if he would be able to not... Mac smiled up at him, bringing him out of his thoughts and back to the present.

Mac looked around after he opened the door for her, catching everything. He had remembered what she said and made it a reality, the knowledge that he'd heard her and remembered, having the effect all of his attentive actions did. Feeling breathless she looked up at him with a smile on her face. An employee quickly appeared at their side and said, "welcome to Rock Sport." The young guy introduced himself as, Mark and led them to the counter.

After she answered questions and signed the release, they led them to a wall for beginners. Content to watch her and wait, he stood back as the employee helped her into her harness, adjusting it to fit her small frame. She watched the young man listening to everything he said, and asking questions, a bright smile on her face. Entirely engrossed in what her instructor said and explained, it made him momentarily wish he'd taught her himself, greedily, wanting the attention she bestowed on Mark, bestowed on him.

Her gaze left her instructor, momentarily, looking over to where he stood close by, then shifting back to Mark. Her gaze quickly returning to him, her smile fading a bit, his eyes held a strange intensity. The intensity faded quickly when her eyes came back to him, but they were no less disturbing. She gaze traveled back to the man named Mark, who was directing her to the wall. Her eyes traveled back to Toll briefly, a wide grin replaced the strange look of moments ago. She smiled in return, then turned her attention back to what Mark was saying.

Toll watched as she climbed, the first wall was a cinch, she reached the top quickly, Mark had told her when she reached the top, she could climb back down or let go and he'd lower her. She opted for letting go, Toll held her gaze as she lowered to the ground her eyes dancing. Mark moved her on to a more difficult section, this one proved a bit more difficult, she still did it but it took a bit more thought, she had to pause on the wall, twice before deciding the best course, then move forward.

After her hour was up, she walked over to where he set on a bench and plopped down beside him, a bright smile on her pretty face. She looked over at him and asked, "how come you didn't do it with me?" He shrugged holding her gaze, before he got a chance to speak she spoke again, "this is probably child's play for you, hunh?" He nodded a faint smile on his lips, "yeah, you could say that." Her eyes drifting to his lips, she said, smiling softly up at him, "Well, I had fun," as her eyes came back to his. "Good." Toll said caught up in her green eyes. "Can you climb alone?" She asked her voice curious, he smiled and nodded his head yes, then said, "you can." Her eyes traveling over his face, suddenly curious about his trip, she asked, "is that what you did in Tennessee?" Her eyes coming back to his, he nodded again a smile tugging at his lips, "the first day I went solo. But it's a lot different from what you did today, it takes specialized rigging, and anchor points. You use the lead rope differently. You need a self belay device, basically it changes a lot and isn't a good idea unless you have considerable experience." Mac smiled wryly, her eyes drifting to his lips, she asked, "and you do?"

"You could say that."

"How long have you been doing it?" She asked curious about the man he was again. She turned her torso so she faced him, he smiled at her, her curiosity yet again making him happy. "In the military, they taught us to climb and repel, its something I enjoyed so I've continued to do it." Mac nodded and said, "maybe next time, you could take me with you." She quickly looked away her cheeks turning red, slowly her gaze came back to him. She hadn't meant that quite how it sounded but didn't correct herself, when she saw the expression on his face. Toll felt like the air had just been sucked from his lungs, when her eyes met his, he stared down at her intensely, then answered, "if you want, I can do that." Mac smiled up at him her cheeks still red, she said, "I'd like that." Toll looked down at her wanting to lean down and kiss her, the feeling almost overwhelming, knowing he needed a distraction, he asked, "do want to try bouldering?" She gave him a confused look, and asked curious, "what's bouldering?" He smiled at her, "climbing without a harness and rope, basically you get a spotter with a mat, they have walls for it in back." She smiled at him, "sure, will you do it too?" She asked expectantly, he held her gaze a moment, "yeah."

Mac watched him climb the wall, studying him appreciatively, she watched the muscles of in his arms flex and bunch under the effort. The thin material of his grey t-shirt did little to hide his flexing shoulder muscles, forcing herself to watch him climb, instead of drooling over the way his muscles flexed and corded as he did it. He easily reached the top of the climb, then he let go and dropped to the ground. Turning to her a smile on his face, he said, "your turn."

They moved to an easier piece of wall for her to try it, their spotter a young women, named Cary, gave Mac pointers, for which Mac was grateful but she didn't make it to the top. Only about three-quarters of the way up and she lost her grip, landing on her feet. Flashing him a smile, she immediately started to climb again. This time she made it. They spent the next hour taking turns, Toll had no doubt her upper body was gonna be sore in the morning.

* * *

As he started his truck, he looked over at her and asked, "are you hungry?" Instead of taking her home, like would be wise. She smiled and asked, "that depends, are you going to let me pay?" Toll looked at her, a slight grin on his face he chuckled, "how about you pay for your own meal."

"Why can't I pay for yours?" She asked amused by his response.

"I'm a man Mac, we kind of like to pay our own way." Mac arched an eyebrow at him, then argued, "I think you've proved that already, you've paid for everything today." She only argued out of fun, likening playing with him. And it helped mask her body's immediate response to his comment about being a man. That comment had sent heat coursing through her body. He defiantly _was_ all male. When he didn't respond, she said, "well I guess we'll go Dutch then." Knowing fully what she implied, she smiled sweetly when his shocked gaze shot to her. Then quickly, looked away to hide the blush that stained her cheeks and laughter welling inside her. She knew she probably shouldn't tease him like that but couldn't help herself.

Toll watched her turn from him, at first he'd wondered if she knew what shed just implied, growing suspicious when he noticed her shoulders where shaking with barely suppressed laughter.

* * *

Toll received a text from Hale, right after the waitress brought their food. He ignored it concentrating instead, on the fact that Mac was most defiantly up to something. She'd recovered from her mirth after a few minutes, giving him an innocent look when he tried to read her gaze. Trying not to think about her comment about them going Dutch. Something deep inside him had urged him to tell her, if this was a date she wouldn't be paying for anything but he didn't and he shoved those thoughts away. Knowing that wasn't a wise path to take, even though she teased him about going Dutch. After a few moment she got up and excused herself heading to the bathroom on the way back she stopped at the counter and paid for their meal in advance. Explaining the situation, somewhat, to the hostess, who just smiled and laughed, then said as Mac walked off, "seriously, honey, if he wanted to pay for my dinner I wouldn't complain." Mac didn't respond just kept walking, a secretive smile on her face.

When she arrived back at the table, Toll looked up at her, the smirk on her pretty face making him instantly suspicious. She set down, smiling innocently at him, she reached out and grabbed her drink. Her innocent look, rendered impotent, when she giggled for no reason. Toll watched her a moment more, then shook his head, certain he'd find out what she did soon.

Toll hung up the phone, his thought focusing on Mac, he shook his head, he'd gone to find out why they hadn't got their check yet, to find Mac had paid the tab already, a smile playing on his lips. He wasn't really surprised she'd paid and he'd let her have her fun. The girl did things to him, so had this day. Seeing her like she'd been today, in all the range of emotion she'd felt, had changed something. He waited for the doubts and uncertainty to come rushing in but oddly enough he felt only a strange sort of anxious, calm.

Hale had called while he went to find their waitress, not surprisingly the guys were heading to the Old Point. The call was his invite, Toll had told him he didn't know if he'd make it. Hale had instantly surmised Mac was with him, surprisingly enough he didn't catch a bunch of shit. The last thing Hale said to him before they hung up, was bring her with you. So, he walked back to the table, knowing he could easily take her home now, she was better, his friendly duty discharged. But it wasn't enough for him, he set catching her gaze, and took a deep breath. Her emerald-green eyes danced with mischief, she smiled at him sheepishly, "proud of yourself?" He asked, she gave him a big smile, and laughed. Obviously, proud of herself, he watched her, she visibly squirmed under his regard, Tolls grin broadened and he shook his head. "Now what?" She asked, her eyes holding his, a smile playing on her lips. "Well," he began, "it's up to you." his gaze turning serious he continued, "you can go home if you want," he paused studying her. When she just watched him expectantly, he continued, "or you can come to the Old Point with me."

* * *

Lacey was the first to notice them enter the bar, setting on Lees lap like normal. She startled both him and Barney from their conversation, when she exclaimed, "he brought her with him!"

Mac felt her cheeks redden at expressions of the faces regarding them, Hale's smile broadened, a knowing light in his dark eyes. She felt her own smile broaden in response, her gaze passed over the others, all had varying degrees of friendliness in their eyes, except for Barney. His gaze flat and probing like it was the night she met him. Her thoughts were quickly distracted from him, when the brunette jumped up from .. Well, she really couldn't remember his names lap. Introducing herself as Lacy, and saying her gaze shifting to Toll, "it's about time."

Introductions made again, Mac found herself seated between, Toll and Lacey, the latter had promptly asked Billy if he'd move so she could set next to Mac.

Toll fell into conversation, with the guys, constantly aware of her, Lacey had drawn her into their own conversation.

Amber watched Toll walk in with a women, momentarily shocked, even given all the teasing she'd heard and Gunnar's adamant assurance, there was a girl in Roads life, she'd doubted it. When she recovered from her surprise she recognized her from several months ago, he'd set at a table talking with her for a long while. She had wondered at one point, if there really was a girl, if she was it. But judging from the way they looked at each other there really was. A smile tugged at her lips, good for him, she thought. Contrary to what Gunnar thought she wasn't smitten with Road, in the beginning maybe, he was physically attractive if you liked impossibly large, scarred men. Which he defiantly was, but it was his shyness that had attracted her and that amazing smile. Her real issue was Gunnar himself. She left the bar making her way toward the table where they all sat.

" Mac." Toll said drawing her attention from Lacey, she smiled at him noticing the waitress standing between them. "do you want a drink?" He asked pulling her gaze back to him, she smiled, her attention turning to the pretty red-haired waitress. "Bud bottle," she said with a friendly smile, the waitress returned that smile, her gaze straying over Macs head. Her eyes quickly came back, "I'll be right back." She said.

Macs turned her attention back to Toll, when Lacey excused herself to go to the bathroom. She watched him, that soft warm feeling spreading through her body. She felt so incredibly grateful for this day as she studied his profile, her eyes drifting further down his body. Down his thick neck, along the thickly corded muscle of bicep and arm, thinking momentarily about those muscles, bunching and flexing, while he climbed that wall. Snap out of it... She told herself, as heat began to pool in her stomach. Face flushed, her eyes quickly came back to his face, to find his eyes on her. Their gazes held and Mac felt her cheeks redden more, the look in his green eyes told her his thoughts weren't exactly pure either. Mac felt her pulse quicken and her breath catch. Hale's voice entered the haze surrounding her, "knock it off." He said, bringing Macs attention to him, he watched her amused, Macs face turned bright red. "I'm trying to have a conversation here, and you aren't helping." She dropped her gaze, then glanced at Toll after a moment, meeting his gaze, he looked a little uncomfortable, she noted.

Tool saved her composure and the day, as he asked her, how she'd been. She smiled at him warmly, giving him a thankful look.

Their wasn't anyone at the table that didn't witness the silent exchange between the two. Barney was the only one, however that it seemed to bother, everyone else watched them in amusement. Barney watched her, converse with Tool, soon everyone had joined in a mutual conversation.

Mac listened to the conversation and banter amused, learning much about the dynamics of the group, Barney, it became obvious was the patriarch, and had a good-natured repertoire going with them all. Hale she already knew as the clown. Billy, seemed a sweat natured, amiable, kid completely out-of-place among his comrades. All in all, they seemed to mesh well, the first time she'd met this odd group of men she'd decided she liked them, tonight wasn't any different. Thoroughly entertained, she laughed, several times so hard her cheeks hurt and her eyes watered.

During a lull in conversation, she turned her attention to Toll and asked, "So how did you meet these guys?" Holding his gaze, her smile soft. His eyes drifted to her lips for a moment then came back to hers, a soft smile of his own dancing around his lips. Before he could answer Hale spoke, steeling Mac attention from him, "I got this. Your friend," he began nodding his head in Tolls direction, eyes alight with amusement and mischief. "Over here, was fighting with a couple guys, about twice his size."

"Really? Why?" She asked, her attention momentarily going back to Toll, her gaze curious. Toll shook his head faintly, a slight smile on his face, his eyes dancing with amusement. Hale spoke up again, drawing Macs attention from Toll a second time. "Someone offended his manhood somehow," he said disdainfully, his eyes twinkling." I don't remember his ear or some shit."

Gunnar spoke drawing Macs attention to him, "his hearing or lack of."

Hale nodded and said, "right, and genius over here." Gesturing toward Toll again,"rather then just speaking up so the guy knew he could hear, decided to punch him instead."

Gunnar laughed, "yeah, I think he was having a bad day." Hale nodded and laughed, "ya I thought it was some funny shit but Tool suggested we help him out." At this point Toll spoke up pulling her amused gaze back to him, "I didn't need any help, they weren't that big." Hale scoffed giving him a disbelieving look, "whatever you were getting your ass beat." Gunnar chimed in again, "ass beating, sounds right." Hale's gaze moved to Gunnar an indignant expression on his face, "I'm the one telling this story," he began his gaze traveling back to Mac, with a shake of his head, "anyway, Barney stepped in to even the odds and after that," he continued disparagingly, "he just kept popping up like a fucking, bad penny."

"Oh," Mac said, an amused smile on her face, the look in Hale's eyes letting her know he wasn't quite done yet. "Yeah, ya know,he actually had some hair then." Mac laughed faintly at his expression and the sever tone of his voice. Gunnar spoke up, "not much though."

"That's... Fortunate I.. Guess..." Mac said, not knowing what to say, laughter in her voice. Gunnar shook his head, his gaze serious, "not so much." Hale opened his mouth, his eyes full of laughter but Toll cut him off, "are you two done yet?" He asked rhetorically, Macs gaze travelled back to him. His eyes full of laughter and amusement, his gaze coming to her, she smiled at him, her eyes traveling over his face. Toll smiled in return, holding her gaze. Macs eyes softened, as they held each other's gazes, her smile turning secretive. Lacey spoke to her, pulling her attention from him.

Toll watched her, even though he couldn't see her face, his eyes traveling down her back, maybe, he decided he didn't mind being the brunt of the joke if it meant she looked at him like that.

Mac only partly listened to Lacey, her awareness of him setting beside her made it difficult to focus on the conversation. Her senses tuned into him, listening for his voice or laughter. A fact which she believed Lacey was fully aware of. After today Mac knew she'd never be able to let this go, she'd fallen for him, for better or worse.

* * *

Toll left the bar with her awhile later, she settled on his bike behind him, her arms wrapping loosely around his waist. He started his bike and pulled onto the street, his body tightened hard, when he felt her wrap her arms snugly around him and her body to press into his back. Concerned she might be cold, he almost pulled over to ask her but something stopped him. He allowed himself to relax as much as possible feeling her little body pressed against his. Suddenly, very glad, when he'd taken them home to change he'd brought his bike to the bar. She stayed pressed against him until he pulled into her driveway.

When she pulled her arms from him, he stood reaching back and taking her arm, to steady her as she got off the bike. When he let go, she removed her helmet, and handed it to him. Not meeting his gaze. He removed his own helmet placing them both on the bike and walked with her toward the house. She hadn't looked at him but Toll watched her, his body tightening. They stopped in front of her door, she dug in her coat for her keys, and unlocked the door, before her attention came to him. She turned looking up at him slowly.

Mac looked up at him slowly, her eyes drifting up his body and over his face, "thank you." She began meeting his eyes, blushing, she bit her lip. Feeling breathless she continued, "For all of it, for... Spending the day with me.. For the rock climbing.. Taking me with you tonight. " Her gaze dropping from him shyly.

Toll struggled a moment, wanting to touch her, he froze instantly, when she stepped closer and slid her arms around his waist. He barely had time to register her arms around him and she pulled back, hiding her face from him. She turned and hurried through the door, pausing just before she shut it. Her eyes travelled across his face, pausing on his lips, then continued up until they held his eyes, "I didn't ask you to come with me for your bike, Garret." She said, her voice soft and meaningful, quickly shutting the door and disappearing inside.

* * *

When Toll awoke the next morning, Mac was the first thought he had. His mind instantly starting to relive the events of yesterday. The thought of her, brought back some uncertainty but nothing like yesterday morning, when he awoke with her on his mind.

* * *

**And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I? I**


	20. Chapter 19

**Staring at the bottom of your glass**

**Hoping one day you'll make a dream last**

**But dreams come slow and they go so fast - Passanger**

* * *

The sunlight streaming through her bedroom windows woke her up, a soft smile lighting her face before she'd even opened her eyes. Toll, her mind whispered. As she opened her eyes, memories of yesterday filled her head, her body growing warm. She bit her lip. She looked around the room, instantly noting the late hour, she set up, the movement making her groan. Her chest and biceps felt sore, glancing at the clock, it was nearly eight already.

She wouldn't be running this morning, that thought made her wonder if Toll ran this morning. Swinging her legs out of bed and standing up, her lower body protested also. Instantly curious if Toll was sore this morning, she quickly dismissed the idea. A blush staining her cheeks, remembering how he'd climbed the wall with ease. And how he felt with her arms wrapped around him, she nipped her bottom lip, her blush deepening. Something told her his large muscular body just might be better conditioned than hers. If he was sore at all, it wasn't to the degree she was.

Entering the bathroom, she walked to the tub opting for a bath in the jet tub, instead of showering. Her mind still on him, thinking about the feel of his solid chest when she impulsively hugged him. The way he'd looked at her, several times yesterday made her body tingle. And that coupled with the knowledge he'd given her something yesterday, staying with her the entire day. Had Mac afraid she might have lost herself completely. Her chest tightened and her thoughts ran away with themselves, she wondered again what it would be like to belong to him. To feel his lips on hers and his long fingers traveling across her skin. A shudder passed down her spine, her skin becoming tight and sensitive and heat began to settle in her abdomen. Shaking her head violently, she stopped her thoughts. No matter how badly she wanted something more from him, she refused to fantasize about him.

Instead, focusing her thoughts on Liam and trying to repair the damaged she'd done. She reached down and turned on the water, and smiled at Goose, whom sat on the floor beside her feet eagerly awaiting her attention.

Toll had left his house at seven-thirty this morning. Last night when Mac had disappeared to the bathroom, Toll asked Barney what he needed. Barney had said he was just stopping by to grab the artillery boxes and ammo cans Toll had. Sensing there might be more to it the just that, he quickly dismissed his curiosity when she reappeared, setting down beside him.

They were all meeting for breakfast in the morning then going the hangar. Toll said he'd bring them with him.

Walking into the Golden Harvest to meet the guys for breakfast, he found her image entering his head again, her soft, bewitching smile and beautiful green eyes gazing up at him. Other memories quickly followed, her arms wrapping snugly around him and her body pressing into his back, the feeling of her hugging him. He'd wanted to keep her close and make her smile and he'd gotten it but at what cost. Confusion setting in, he'd reminded himself they were friends, but the word held little comfort. He'd let his guard down yesterday and lost a little more of himself too her. Spotting Barney, Tool, and very unimpressed looking Lee setting at a table, he walked toward them. No doubt Lees dark mood had a great deal to do with the fact Barney wanted clean the hanger today.

Mac had a stack of invoices to deal with and several phone calls to return, and a very curious Anna when she walked into her office. She had barely set down when Anna appeared in her office doorway

"Ok, so, you didn't come in yesterday, your late today, you have a secretive smirk on your face, and you said you're sore." Anna said, "what conclusion could I draw here, I wonder?" Mac just kept on sorting through the involves on her desk, her smile broadening. "If I didn't know any better I'd say, there's a man involved!" Anna said wryly. Mac looked up at her, and shook her head laughing faintly. "I knew it!" Anna exclaimed, "good for you." She said then asked, "Well?"

"Well what?" Mac asked admitting nothing. "Tell me about him!" Mac smiled at her and said, "I don't know what you are talking about." Anna gave her a disbelieving look, and said "whatever."

* * *

When Barney had asked Toll to wait around after to others left, he'd envisioned a slightly different outcome. He'd known this conversation would be difficult, and he'd also known Toll would most likely be unimpressed. And apparently his careful choosing of words wasn't helping either. Standing there watching Tolls large body tense and his face redden, anger evident in his eyes, he felt shocked by just how much Toll might feel for the girl. He knew she wasn't just a random women and he'd realized last night Tolls feeling for her were developing. But this, it wasn't just having feelings for a girl, this ran deep. Watching Toll he wished he'd never listened to Tool and done this long before now.

He stood staring at Toll at a loss, as how to proceed everything he'd said so far to try, and calm him down hadn't worked. He made the fatal error of referring to her as being flirtatious in his last comment. He watched Toll turn fully toward him a little wary of what he might do. "What the hell are you trying to say?" Toll asked growing more irritated by the moment. Barney met his angered gaze head on. "Just be careful, that's all."

"There's nothing going on between us, for me to be careful about."

"She's a beautiful young women Toll.." Barney began, Toll quickly cut him off, his voice more than angry. "So what, now she too beautiful for me?" Barney shook his head, patience, he reminded himself, he continued, "I didn't say that."

"No? You just said she's a beautiful young women. So, what she's young and beautiful, so she couldn't possibly want someone like me?" Toll nearly yelled. Barney took a deep breath, he might have thought some of those things, but he knew better than to voice them. He'd hoped to avoid this reaction. Barney gave him an exasperated look, not knowing how to sooth Tolls wounded pride. He said carefully, "that's not what I said, Toll." Toll gave him one last angry look, and said, "sure." Then he turned around and stormed out of the hangar.

Furious, and uncertain Toll climbed into his truck, slamming the door behind him. He knew, down deep Barney was very likely, right, why would she want him, after all look at her. He started his truck backing away from the hangar, he began to drive home. His mind jumping from one thing to the next, Barney's words twisting life a knife in his gut. His doubts and uncertainties coming back full force, he felt sick, how could he have been so stupid. Making a fool of himself over a girl, he knew better.

Unbidden, a memory of her standing on the beach yesterday morning came to mind. Her laughter echoing through him, his gut tightened, then the memory of her when he dropped her off last night filled his head. Making him question his uncertainty. He pulled over, bringing up the GPS screen on his stereo, he typed in Sinclair Catering. His heart pounding, he stared at the screen knowing he couldn't do it. His stomach twisting into knots, he wanted to know but he wasn't sure he could risk asking her and possibly loosing her altogether.

Mac smile broadened when she pulled onto the end of the street, seeing Tolls truck at home. All day she'd anticipated getting home, wanting to see him. Thinking that she'd almost certainly see him.

Setting at the island in her kitchen later that night, she began to grow uncertain. She'd texted him an hour and a half ago asking him if he wanted to run with her in the morning and she hadn't received a reply. She reached out and grabbed her phone for what felt the like thousandth time hoping she'd missed a text somehow. Knowing deep down she hadn't, she contemplated texting him again incase he'd missed the text. But she didn't. Chastising, herself she stood up and, started turning off lights and getting ready for bed. She allowed herself to look at her phone one more time before she crawled under the covers. Still no Toll...

Venturing off the beaten track tonight for a drink, Toll decided on the Whalers a seedy bar on the waterfront. The clientele consisted of a handful of women, way past their prime and a few worn old fishermen, add in the three tweakers setting at a table in the and you had quite the mix.

This wouldn't usually be his place of choice but tonight he'd decided on going somewhere he wasn't likely to see anyone he knew. And this was the perfect sort of place, no chance of seeing any of his team mates. Barney had called him, and he'd received several texts from Caesar but he wasn't in the mood. Itching for a fight like he was at the moment, he'd rather not be around any of them.

He walked into the dimly lit filthy bar and promptly set down on a corner stool, ordered a whiskey and here he'd set for the last three hours. Nursing one drink after another, trying to forget his own stupidity. Why had he ever allowed himself to start hoping and believing she wanted him. As mad as he was, he couldn't help but be glad Barney had been enough of a friend to speak up. Before he'd done something dumb.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, pulling it out expecting another text from Hale. His hand tightened around the phone when he saw it was her. His heart beat picking up even as he felt that knife in the gut sensation. Pathetic, he thought, all you have to do is see her name on your phone and your heart starts racing. You turn into that stupid, starry-eyed boy, he thought with self loathing. He downed the rest of the whiskey in his glass, and ordered another one promptly. Maybe he could drink her away tonight. Shoving his phone back in his pocket, he decided to do just that.

On his way home Billy decided to take a different route than normal. It was a beautiful night so he drove along the water front, passing by the docks and ship yards.

Passing threw a particularly undesirable piece of the waterfront district. He spotted Tolls bike setting outside the Whalers, feeling slightly surprised. He knew if Toll chose this local to visit tonight he had a reason, something still promoted him to stop. He turned around and parked his bike. Entering the dimly lit, smoke-filled interior, he had to give his eyes a moment to adjust. He spotted Toll setting at the end of the bar, walking over he set down on the stool beside him. Tolls glassy eyes turned to him, "Kid." He said after a moment. Billy looked at him taken aback, momentarily, having never seen his quiet teammate quite so obviously drunk before, it took him a minute to respond.

Toll, it became obvious, quickly, wasn't in the talking mood, not that he ever had much to say. But something about his demeanor tonight put Billy on alert fast. Even before he'd informed Billy he wasn't in the talking mood, but to feel free to order a beer and hangout. Noting Tolls obvious dark mood and edginess, he ordered a beer and sat silently. Watching Road down two more glasses of whiskey before he'd finished his beer.

Toll awoke the next morning with a throbbing head, and nasty tasting mouth. The rancid smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke filling his nostrils. He opened his eyes only to shut them instantly, the light from the windows causing his head to throb more. Opening them again and setting up carefully, his hand went to the back of his neck to rub the stiff muscles. He looked around, having no idea where he was. It was bedroom but one he didn't recognize. Dread filling his stomach, he cast a glance over his shoulder, relieved to see he was at least alone in the bed and fully dressed.

Then he remembered Billy showing up at the Whalers last night. And him subsequently ending up at his house rather than going home. It had become painfully evident he couldn't get himself home last night when they'd left the bar. Embarrassed, he shook his head, uncertain which would have been more embarrassing, waking up with one of the women from the bar this morning or waking up at Billy's. He quickly decided Billy's house, the better of the two. With a sigh, he ran his hands over his face, "Mac," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, as he remembered just why he'd gotten so drunk last night. His stomach instantly knotting up. He stared at the floor a moment lost in thought, she'd texted him last night. Hoping he didn't text her back in his drunken state he looked around for his jacket. Spotting it on the end of the bed he reached over and grabbed it, then pulled his phone from the pocket. He flipped it open and read her text. Do you want to run in the morning? Thank god, he hadn't responded. Not sure what he'd have said. He spotted his boots on the floor by the bed, he leaned down and picked them up.

After dressing his feet he exited the bedroom, finding Billy in the kitchen, he said an awkward goodbye and stumbled through asking him to keep the events of last night to himself, then headed home. The bright sunlight sending a shooting pain through his head, he could have asked Billy for some aspirin or something but he didn't.

Once again, Toll filled her head before she'd even opened her eyes, when she did open her eyes, she stared at the ceiling, for just a moment. Turning her head she looked at her cell where it lay on the bed beside her. She reached for it, uncertainty filling her. She knew before she touched her phone what she'd find.. So, she wasn't surprised when nothing greeted her. It surprised her however, around eleven when she got a text from him that said. Sorry, about not answering last night. I'm gonna be really busy the next few days before we leave town again, I'll see you when I get back.

Toll had agonized all morning, wanting to text her, wanting to see her. As much as he wanted that, the knowledge of his own stupidity repelled him from it at the same time. Finally around eleven he gave in. He had no idea what to text her, as much as he wanted to see her, now wasn't the time. So he'd texted her a fabricated excuse and told her he'd see her when he got back. Now, he just hoped they had a job on Monday, he got his wish and then some. Later that day he received a text from Barney they were leaving Saturday. For once glad downtime got cut short.

He walked into Tools later that day for the briefing,late. Hale had caught his eye, the look in his eyes saying he was getting ready to start in on him. Toll shot him a look that more than conveyed he wasn't in the mood, and whatever Hale was about to say died on his tongue. He left as soon as Barney finished, not caring to stick around. He kept to himself till Saturday, he needed the distance, to get past all of it.

When they met at the hangar Saturday, he was feeling better. Well, about being around Barney and the guys anyway. Mac he still wasn't so certain about...

Mac had told herself, when she received that text from him not to read too much into it, but as two days passed and she didn't even see him in passing it began to seem conspicuous. She felt certain he was avoiding her again. Her mind refused to cooperate and just leave it be like she wanted, it seemed determined to relive every moment of the day they'd spent together. Over analyzing everything looking for a reason... Saturday mid morning when she left for a job, his truck wasn't home. When Monday rolled around and she still hadn't seen his truck, she found herself irritated, no matter how stupid it might sound. Even if he was avoiding her, he could have texted her at least to say by.


	21. Chapter 20

**Firstly, I need to say thanks, Gail your amazing! Kendra thanks you've been patient and helpful, you're both amazing. Really I don't know what I'd do if i didn't have both of your support! Probably give up. ;-) **

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**What's your all time high, your good as it gets? **** - Blake Shelton**

* * *

One thing he learned very quickly about extraction missions in the desert, they were hands down the worst kind. Conditions horrible, cover minimal, and more than a few hours in the direct sun, meant possibilities like heat stroke, dehydration, and sometimes death. Not to mention the sandstorms that just appeared, or the fucking scorpions. The babies were the ones you had to watch for, they couldn't control their venom. Getting stung by one on them, could mean death, he carried a sting kit with him just for that reason.

He'd spent his fair share of time in the middle eastern deserts, some during his army days but mostly since he'd become a merc. He'd spent most of his military career in Europe, he'd been deployed first to Berlin to help police the population and riots after the wall came down. He'd rather be there now, this god forsaken desert terrain didn't improve or grow on him with time. Especially not when one hundred and eighteen kilometers north a civil war raged.

There was a good reason the indigenous population dressed as they did, but unfortunately that wasn't an option for men in their line of work. Desert fatigues didn't help either, the thickness of the material, causing them to sweat more. The problem with sweating in the desert was, it all evaporated before it hardly left your pores. So, it made it difficult to tell if your electrolyte intake was as high as needed.

And this time, they had already baked in the sun, and bathed in the sand for three days. Nothing had gone right since they'd arrived in Syria, the intelligence had been wrong, actually, it had been right but it changed. They'd moved the guy they'd been sent here to get, changing things. Placing him at facility deeper in the desert.

So, here he found himself, laying atop a giant sand dune, Minox binoculars trained on the building, a half a kilometer away. The desert sun, beating down on his back, burning his skin through the thin material of his grey t-shirt. He opted for removing his Kevlar, the heavy black material only adding to the impossible conditions. Dropping his binoculars from his eyes, he instantly had to squint, the glare of the hot Syrian sun hitting the sand, blinding him for a moment. He inched his body backwards, crawling down the dune, to where Caesar set a few feet away, under some makeshift cover. "Anything?" Caesar asked from where he sat reclining against the dunes face. "No." Toll replied, flipping his body into a sitting position. He reached for the canteen setting by his feet.

"Man this sucks," Hale said into the silence. His comment met with def ears, Hale looked at him. Toll set staring off across the desert, lost in space somewhere. His forearm resting on his bent knee, canteen in hand, his eyes squinting against the glare. Hale repeated, "man, this sucks." Tolls turned his head and looked at him, nodding slightly in acknowledgment. Turning his head away from him again, he took another drink from his canteen. Then he rolled over onto his knees and began his climb back up the dune, it wasn't long and Hale joined him.

After a moment asking the question Toll knew he'd been wanting to ask since Saturday, "how's Mac?" Toll didn't answer right away, after a moment he said, "fine." Seven days, that's how long since he'd seen her. Part of him wished he'd made the effort or allowed himself to see her before he came to this shit hole. He'd had to remind himself frequently distancing himself was the best idea. Barney's voice came over the mic, "Toll Road, Caesar, you got anything?"

"No," Toll answered, Barney's voice at the moment, seeming an ominous warning. Don't let yourself get taken, it seemed to say.

Hale studied Road a moment, he didn't know what had happened all he knew for certain was Toll was acting even more introverted than normal. Six days ago, Barney had told him if Toll wasn't answering his phone, that probably meant he didn't want to talk, so leave it be. But judging from his black mood the next day and the dark cloud that had followed him ever since he'd showed up at the hangar on Saturday, Hale had started to think there might be trouble in paradise. Deciding quickly the topic of Mac might be a touchy subject at present. Twenty minutes later, Barney pulled them all back, heading back to the town if you could call it that, where they'd stayed last night. They'd go in and get the journalist tonight, if everything went as planned they'd be heading home tomorrow.

On the trip back they passed through the ruins of ancient city of Palmyra, Barney stopped the worn old jeep they procured for transportation, on the dunes just outside of the city. He climbed out taking his camera with him. Toll watched him, a thought occurring to him, he climbed out also. He pulled out his phone and snapped a couple quick pictures of his own, reaching down and picking up a red pebble that lay amidst the sand, he stuffed it in his pocket.

Liam, true to his word had that talk with Neal, showing up at her house Saturday night, judging by the fading bruise on Liam's jaw the talk had been a physical one. She wasn't really surprised. Liam told her to steer clear of Neal. He didn't trust him at all and cautioned her not to take him at his word. Mac listened to everything he said, hearing the warning in his voice. Assuring him she would be careful. Beth, right as usual had said Liam wouldn't stay mad at her for long, but it wasn't the anger that troubled her. It was the knowledge Liam felt disappointed in her that hurt, he felt it was his duty to protect her and he couldn't do that if she didn't let him..

* * *

He's home! She thought to herself a smile instantly appearing on her lips at the sight of Tolls truck setting his yard. Happiness filling her, he said he see her when he got home. All the nagging doubt of the last week forgotten, evaporating almost instantly. Calm down she told herself, you haven't even laid eyes on him yet. She considered, for just a moment, walking to his house and knocking on his door but told herself he'd come find her or text her when he had time.

Mac waited the entire first day after she noticed he'd gotten home for him to find her. When he didn't, that sickening feeling of unease she carried in the pit of stomach for a week, worsened. Reminding herself she had no claim to his time or person, she assured herself he'd come find her when he had time. But her traitorous mind wouldn't stop obsessing about why he hadn't contacted her. He'd said, I'll see you when I get back. It had only been a day after all.

Toll wanted to see her, like always but he still wasn't ready. He knew he wouldn't be able to put it off much longer. His disgust with himself had only grown, his inability to shake her, making his disgust turn to self loathing. He hadn't known her long enough for all of this he tried to tell himself, it wasn't the first time he'd felt the self-hatred that could come from a women. Luckily, he hadn't done what he'd really wanted to do and kissed her. As it set, he could and would extract himself from this infatuation with her. Hopefully, still able to have a friendship with her. It's was because of that friendship, he knew he couldn't keep avoiding her, he told her he'd see her when he got back. And that had happened two days ago. Telling himself to man up, rub some dirt in it, and grin and bear it, along with any other he corny saying he could think of. He got on his bike and headed to Tools to meet the guys, telling himself he'd find her tonight or tomorrow.

Macs heart sank when she didn't hear from him, she knew he was home. Leaning back in her chair, she reached up and ran her fingers through her hair. She been so preoccupied with his return, she waited anxiously, even going so far as to walk to the end of her driveway, a few times. For no apparent reason other than to see if he was home. Recognizing her actions for what they were, made her feel vulnerable, in away she never had.

It had taken her very little time to realize she had fallen completely and maybe irrevocably. And it was that knowledge, that kept her from searching him out. Never before had a man who made her feel so at a loss, so uncertain of herself, made her fear rejection. She supposed sardonically, that if this was going to happen to her. It would be because of a quiet, brooding man, whose intensity and watchful eyes put her at a loss. Something inside her as always, of late, correcting that thought. Telling her not to generalize him, it wouldn't be just any quiet, reticent man affecting her this way. It was Toll.. That admittance, pulling at something in the vicinity of her heart. Turning her attention back to the present, she refused to set lost in him any longer. Digging through the stack of papers on her desk.

Unable to sit, she stood grabbing her keys from the desk, and headed out of the office. She knew Liam would caution her, but right now, she needed Jake, he understood her better than anyone else. She hadn't called him in a while, taking Liam's advice to heart but at the moment. Well, he was the only one that would understand.

Driving her jeep to the nearest beach she parked and climbed out, walking to the surf. the feel of the spray against her face, and the smell of the salt air, having a calming effect, she pulled her cell from her pocket. Hesitating a moment, she called Jake. Hoping against hope he answered. When his voice came on the other end, she knew she'd made the right choice. She'd eventually gotten to the point at hand, after she'd talked about Neal being back. By the time she finished, she could tell Jake didn't know what to say. When he did eventually form a sentence he said, "so, to quote Blake Shelton, he's your all time high?" Mac smiled faintly at his reference, something shifting inside her. "Yeah, I guess, maybe, I've never thought of him in those terms." Her voice faint, Jake chuckled and said, "well little sister, go get your man."

"It's not that easy."

"It is, what it is, Mac. At least ask him what's wrong, I know you, you'll drive yourself nuts. Maybe you could start by telling him about Neal."

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**What's the greatest chapter in your book?**


	22. Chapter 21

**What's your double dare, your go all in?**

**The craziest thing you ever did?**

**- Blake Shelton**

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After she got off the phone, she set staring at the waves. Chewing on her bottom lip, her nerves dancing, refusing to stay still. But despite how on edge the idea of talking to him made her, she knew Jake was right. And she knew she needed to find him herself, he wasn't going to come to her. She stood up brushing the sand from the butt of her pants. But first she needed to go back to the office, Anna had called her twice, while she was talking to Jake. She'd left without an explanation, and she had some work she needed to finish. Finishing up as quickly as possible, she then went directly home. His truck set in his yard but she had no way of knowing if he was home.

Mac, set at the island, staring at the screen on her phone. She had set there for what felt like an hour, hands trembling, this was it, if she did this there would be no going back. Once she set things in motion... You want to know, she reminded herself. But she also knew if he didn't feel the same, it would destroy everything, with some men it wouldn't, but Toll, something told her would over think it... Uncertain herself, how she'd handle rejection from him, if it happened, she shook her head. In fact, at this moment the only thing she felt at all certain about was, the fact she needed to know. There was always a certain amount of risk in these instances, the risk made greater by the depth of what you felt.. And her feelings weren't faint but still it was a risk she had to take. He was what she wanted... Unable to shove her worries and fears aside, she texted him, before she lost her nerve. She quickly tapped out. Hey, I need to talk to you... Staring at the screen for a full two minutes before she could get her shaking fingers to push send. Instantly worrying about the way she'd worded the text. It would have been better if she'd simply asked, if they could talk.. Need, seemed to imply something. The last thing she wanted to do was, put him on edge.. There wasn't any use worrying, over her hastily chosen words now, it was too late for that. She laid her phone down on the counter, and waited. Not knowing what to expect. Part of her afraid he'd ignore her text or worse, they'd talk and he wouldn't feel the same. After a second she got up, she couldn't set there and wait, it would drive her nuts. She wandered to her office, taking her phone with her. She set down at her desk, checking her phone, unable to prevent herself, even though she knew he hadn't responded yet. Still feeling anxious, she told herself to knock it off. At least until she'd heard from him, she could wait until then, to let her imagination run wild, she attempted to tell herself. Her brain and nerves had other plans, however.

Toll set straddling his bike, his muscular arms folded over his wide chest, beer in hand. Listening, only partially to Christmas and Barney's good-natured banter. Both apparently in the mood to irritate the other, normally he'd be amused but not today. Nothing much amused him lately, it wasn't entirely her fault either, it was everything. That discontent he'd felt so keenly a few months ago, had come back. Bringing with it reality, this situation he'd created himself, he should have seen all of this coming. He'd cautioned himself when he'd thought her younger than she was. Telling himself it would only end badly if he fell for a women half his age. Finding out that she was near thirty shouldn't have changed things so much but he'd allowed the knowledge to ease some of his fears. He used it as a buffer, allowing himself to fall... The age difference wasn't a little one, honestly it made him old enough... He stopped the thought. Then told himself her age really didn't matter anymore, it never had, she wasn't his. Nor would she ever be. It had brought up other issues as well, bringing up hurts long-buried, reminding him what had happened in the past.

His phone vibrated, bringing him out of his stupor, he leaned back shoving his hand in his pocket. He pulled out his phone, not really surprised to see her name on the screen. After all, everyone that would text him besides her was in the same room as him. But still his heart started racing, for a moment he set with his phone in his hand. Fist tightened around it, he looked around, no one had noticed. His gaze traveling to Barney for a second, knowing his longtime boss and friend would likely tell him to ignore it. Even given all the revelations he had recently, he knew he wouldn't, loosening his fist, he flipped it open, the text said, hey, I need to talk to you...

After fifteen minutes when she still hadn't received an answer, she felt that unease settle in her stomach. Reminding herself, it had only been fifteen minutes. If she had to, she'd wait till she knew he was home and go find him, one way or another they were having this conversation. I didn't matter how uneasy it made her, they were going to clear the air.

Toll finished his beer, he threw his empty into a nearby trash can. Grabbing his helmet from his handle bars and putting it on, he announced to everyone in general he was out of there. Starting his bike, he rode out of the shop. He didn't know where he might go, just that he needed to leave.

Tool, busy working on a sketch when Toll made his announcement, sat back in his chair watching him ride off. He took of his glasses, rubbing the leg across his bottom lip. His gaze traveling to Barney, a thoughtful look on his face. He hoped again Barney had known what he was doing, when he had that talk with Road. He knew Barney had done what he'd done because he worried, and wanted to protect Toll Road but Tool still didn't think he'd done him a favor. He hadn't thought in the beginning Barney was right and he still didn't think it now. He hoped that they figured it out, before Toll lost his chance, maybe, his last chance for happiness. Barney met his gaze, there eyes held for a moment, then Tools attention, went back to the sketch on the desk.

Tool was aware that Barney had approached him set down a stool across from, not bothering to look up when Barney asked quietly, "you think I did the wrong thing?" Tool pen stopped on the paper for a moment, then he said, "its done now, brother."

When she heard the knock on her door, her heart started pounding and her hands began to shake. Hoping desperately it was him, so nervous her mind couldn't even voice his name, she hollered "just a minute." Her voice sounding shaky and nervous to her. She put Goose, who was presently running back and forth between her and the front door excited by the prospect of company, outside.

She paused, taking a deep breath to settle the nervous shivers running across her skin, then hurried to the front door. Reminding herself she didn't even know that it was him. Her stomach churned anyway and her hands shook, shed never been as nervous as she was when her hand touched the door knob. Taking one last deep breath to calm her nerves and collect herself, she unlocked the door and opened it.

She found herself staring into a pair of glassy grey blue eyes. Her heartbeat escalated even higher, a different sort of uncertainty filling her. "Neal," she said shocked. Her eyes traveled over the fading bruises lining his jaw, her uncertainty being replaced with apprehension, he been drinking... He stepped into the house, giving her no choice but to step back.

Noting, her apparent unease as she stepped back, he tried to put her at ease, putting his hands up, "I just want to talk." He said his speech slightly slurred. "You need to leave." She said, moving so there was chair between them. Ignoring her words, he said again, "I want to talk," his voice coming out pleading. "You need to go, Neal, your drunk and it's not an option." He gave her a pathetic look, "I know I hurt you Mac, just give me a chance to explain." He entreated, moving further into the room. "You already had one," she stated, growing more weary of him, her gaze straying to closet on the other side of him. Knowing she couldn't use the shotgun hidden inside even if she could reach the door. Her dad's words echoing in her mind, you never pull a gun on someone unless you plan to use it. Her eyes came back to his. Almost instantly, she could see irritation replace the beseeching look of moments ago, "so what, you get to sick your brother one me, and I don't get a chance to explain anything?" He asked, rhetorically, his voice becoming belligerent.

It all happened very quickly, he accused her of sending Liam to take care of him. After, he'd made sure to come here and let her know he'd stay away. She watched him grow more and more agitated by the moment. Mac tried to reason with him, reminding him, she'd told him she didn't know what Liam would do. All the time her panic rising, she realized after a minute, she would never be able to reason with him. Not with him drunk, if she could just get outside she'd be ok. Calculating, her odds of making it past him and out the door, she knew she stood little chance. He stood too close to the door, she somehow knew in his present state, if she made any sudden movements he'd snap completely. Running toward the back of the house wouldn't work either, he'd chase her and catch her. The only option she could see, being try to get him as far away from the door as possible, at the same time moving herself closer. She pushed down the fear starting to spread inside her, taking a deep breath she knew she needed to remain calm. Believing if she moved, he'd stalk her, she started edging herself around the chair. He followed suit, he advanced while she retreated. She saw her opportunity and took it.

The last thing she remembered was her foot catching on the floor runner, she started falling forward, her hands going out in front of her and Neal's hand grabbing her shoulder but only getting her shirt. She felt the material of her shirt give way, then everything went black.

Neal instantly sobered, the moment Macs head hit the newel post. Kneeling down beside her, he gently rolled her over. Brushing her hair off her face, he noted the lump already forming on her right temple. He shook her, saying her name, she just moaned softly. Staring down at her, lying prone on the floor, the gravity of the situation hit him. What the fuck had he done, his eyes traveled across her face, "Mac," he said again, shaking her. He'd just wanted to talk to her.. When she didn't wake a second time, an even heavier fear settled in his stomach. He laid her back down, and stood rushing out the door, making sure to shut it behind him.

Mac opened her eyes slowly, blinking repeatedly, it took a moment for them to focus. She moved her head slightly, only for her gaze to go blurry again as a sharp pain shot through her head, she lifted her hand gingerly touching her face. Feeling the swelling on the right side, she asked herself what happened. Wrapping her hand around the newel post, she moved slowly into a sitting position. Both her head and neck protesting her effort. Pain shooting up her neck and through her head, she instantly felt sick to her stomach. Blinking several times again to clear the blurriness from her vision, she looked down noting her torn shirt. Neal! His name hitting her, she carefully looked around trying to piece everything together. He wasn't here. But everything was foggy at the moment, her stomach heaved again as a sharp pain shot through her head.

She turned her body, and using the newel post she pulled herself into a standing position. The edges of her vision going black, she stood still a moment. Her phone, she needed her phone, where was it? She wondered. Kitchen? No that didn't sound right, office? Maybe? Yes, she thought. It took her a few minutes but she made it, her balance and focus becoming better. She set down slowly, not wanting to feel that nauseating dizziness again. She reached out and picked up her phone, still uncertain about what had just happened. She opened her contacts, finding Liam's number, hitting dial.

Toll pulled onto the end of her street planning on going to see her. He'd told himself he just needed to get it over with, but seeing Liam's truck in her driveway he decided he'd wait until she was alone. He'd spent the last hour and a half, preparing himself, needing to make sure he was ready. He knew the first time seeing her would be painful. God he sounded stupid, he thought, you're acting like she's more to you, than she is.

They'd wheeled her immediately into the E.R. the police arriving a short time later, as her memory cleared, she didn't think Neal had meant to hurt her, he'd tried to grab her when she fell. She told the cops and Liam that, she'd told them everything or as much as she could remember. They had listened and took notes, assuring her before they left, she'd know when they arrested him.

When the hospital finally released her it was eleven o'clock at night. They'd wanted to keep her for observation but she'd adamantly refused. She only had a slight concussion, and she hated hospitals. They'd done x-rays and scans. She really didn't know what was worse, talking to the police or all the poking and prodding the doctors and nurses did. Liam took her to her house saying he'd stay there with her, really she just wanted alone time.

But she didn't argue the point, if he wanted to stay the night and help her stay awake so be it. Suddenly thinking about Toll, she asked Liam where her phone was. He grabbed it from one of the cup holders handing it to her. He'd answered, her heart started beating harder, she opened it. I'm home, whenever you want to talk... She stared at her phone, having no idea what to say. She thought about not answering but that wasn't an option. Noting the time on the text said six thirty-three. She thought for a moment confused about how to respond, then texted, I'm so sorry Toll, but something came up. I really want to talk to you. Can I call you in the morning? Then she waited..

A few minutes before they got to her house, her phone buzzed. Yeah...

* * *

Liam, finally let Mac fall asleep around seven am. She'd looked so exhausted and weary all night but the doctor had been specific don't let her sleep. In the beginning she been slightly entertaining. The combination, painkillers and need to sleep making her goofy. She stood in the bathroom gazing at her reflection, making fun of herself, although he'd been amused he really didn't find it funny in the least.

He set on the other end of the couch, watching her sleep for a bit. His eyes running over her bruised and swollen face, her abused flesh a mass of angry colors. Black, blue and purple. It wasn't so bad really, her right eye was black and blue and slightly swollen, the discoloration traveling downward, onto her cheek bone. And fanning out onto her temple, her cheek and side of her face a little puffy. Thankfully the doctor said, she hadn't broken anything.

Liam, himself had, had worse from bar fights. The thought making his fists clenched in anger, this wasn't a bar fight. And it didn't matter that she didn't think Neal meant her harm. He'd still been here, again, and frankly Liam didn't care, he'd warned Neal...

The cops still hadn't caught the bastard, and Mac said they wouldn't. Assuring Liam he'd already left town. Anger welling inside him, she'd remained adamant in the fact, she didn't believe Neal had planned on this. Saying, he'd been drinking, she didn't think he knew what he was doing. Reminding him Neal had reached for her when she fell. But he had to ask himself what kind of man ran from a scene like that. If he hadn't meant her harm, why'd he run off.

Toll awoke at his normal time, he got dressed and decided to run. On edge, wondering what she wanted to talk about. Last night when she didn't text him back quickly he'd began to worry, thinking maybe she was mad because it had taken him so long to finally answer her. Paying him back in kind, for the lengthy spans of time before he'd answered her last two texts. As usual he'd over thought it. Running through all his worries concerning her, reminding himself every other second he'd imposed this silence between them. But mostly that it was for the best. Still when she'd finally answered him hours later, he'd felt relief. Glad to know she wasn't trying to prove a point.

* * *

Mac opened her eyes, setting up carefully, the spicy smell of enchilada sauce filling her nostrils. And making her stomach growl. Liam? Cooking? She questioned herself in disbelief. Her curiosity piqued, she stood up slowly acutely aware of the throbbing in her head and her aching shoulder and neck muscles. She made her way to the kitchen to get some painkillers and see where that smell was coming from.

She stepped into the room to find it empty, her eyes searching out the origin of that smell even as she approached the island to get her pills. Her eyes going to the oven. Beth, she surmised, had to have brought them food, and it was one of her favorites.

She wondered to the sink, grabbing a glass from the cupboard near by, she filled it popped her pills in her mouth and took a drink, swallowing them. Finishing her glass of water, she turned to find Liam leaning against the door frame. A faint smile on his face, "it's about time you woke up, Kameron. It's nearly two o'clock. He teased.

"Oh shit! Really?" Mac said, already heading to the living room to find her phone. She'd asked if she could call him this morning! No,no, no! Liam watched her a moment curious following her into the living room. "What's wrong? Miss a hot date or something?" Macs cheeks reddened, "where's my phone?" She asked ignoring his question. Finding her phone tucked into the couch, she set down turning it on. She missed a few calls, and texts but nothing from Toll.

Questioning calling him at this moment, her original plan had been to use this call to see him. Her hand going to her cheek... Seeing him right now made her nervous, it would be a difficult enough conversation, without all of this to explain also. She knew Jake and Liam both thought, if she wanted him, she needed to tell him about Neal. But it wasn't their story, it was hers, and some stories just weren't easy to tell. She knew she had to call him. But then what? This conversation, she couldn't have over the phone, but she couldn't not call either. And asking him to see her in, oh, about a week when she didn't look like this anymore wasn't going to work either. Suddenly, telling herself to stop acting like this, she stood. Her mind made up, her phone in hand, she glanced at Liam saying, "I need to make a call."

She walked past him and down the hall, through the kitchen and out the back door. Setting down on the edge of the deck, she dialed his number, she had no idea how she might be going to do this or what she might say, she only knew she couldn't put it off. Pick up, pick up! Her mind yelled, wanting to get it over with. When he did her heart raced harder, his voice sounding slightly surprised, "Mac?."


	23. Chapter 22

**And here you go ladies! I'm sorry about the length of this chapter but I couldn't cut it down anymore... **

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**And if you ask me, mine would be you. - Blake Shelton**

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Seconds ago she'd been anxious, wanting him to answer, now that he had, she had no idea what to say. She set there for a moment feeling tongue-tied. Doubts coursing through her body, uncertainties voicing themselves. Getting ahold of herself, she reminded herself again, why she had to do this, answering belatedly, "hi." Her voice faint and wavering, then explaining, "I'm so sorry, Toll.. I just woke up."

"It's o.k." The deep, hushed timber off his voice, at the moment, would have normally been reassuring, but not today. Still not certain if this would prove a wise decision but knowing she wanted to see him, actually, she needed to see him. She still found herself unable to say it, the words lodged in her throat. She knew if she did this there wouldn't be... Stopping the thought. She took a shaky breath, digging down deep to find her normal courage and asked, "will you come see me?" Then after a pause, she said, "Or can I come see you, maybe?" After what seemed like an extremely long wait, he said. "I'll be there but give me a bit." His voice sounding hesitant to her, "alright." She answered, her own voice coming out hushed. "Give me an hour and a half, Mac. I've got to go meet someone."

"It's fine, I need to shower anyway." She replied, feeling glad for the reprieve but also dreading it. She wanted this over with but at the same time she had no idea how she would explain everything. The time would just give her more opportunity to agonize.

Stomach churning, she stayed in the same position she'd began the conversation in, for several minutes after it ended. Analyzing every word he'd said. Not a thought in her head about anything but him. Not the things she needed to say. Just an image of him, or several images of him running together. A few minutes later she heard his bike start-up, it brought to an end the picture show going on in her head. Her chest tightened. She closed her eyes tightly sending up a reverent prayer, Please, let me stumble through this and let him feel the same, she silently pleaded.

Toll hung up his phone, then shoved it in his pocket. Confused, he set down on his bike. She was lucky she'd caught him, he'd just put his helmet on when his phone rang. Earlier today he'd cursed himself for a fool, waiting around for her since last night. She hadn't answered his text last night until late, then asked if she could call him this morning, then didn't. He knew her brother was with her, his truck had been there last night, and this morning. And he'd tried to reassure himself, if she wasn't calling there was a reason. Instead of feeling concern, he'd allowed the thought, that she played some game with him, take hold. Trying to make him pay for not being around, but hearing her voice just now, he found himself worried, something was wrong.

He'd allowed Barney's words to manifest in the last week and a half, like normal reading between the lines and looking for a hidden meaning. Instead of just leaving it at she wasn't interested, he'd driven himself crazy. He reminded himself as he started his bike, she hadn't done anything, this situation was of his own making.

After she went back inside, Liam told her they'd arrested Neal earlier today or that he'd turned himself in and that Liam had called their parents. Mac felt utter and complete shock when Liam told her Neal had turned himself in. She'd honestly thought he'd run away and hideout like he had in the past. Liam had sagely added, he'd probably done it out of fear. Mac wasn't sure what she thought about his reasons but it made her feel better, knowing she'd not have to worry about him, at least for a while. Liam talking to their parents, that was another thing entirely. When she decided to get the cops involved this time, she had done it for a few reasons. One being, she felt apprehension over what Liam would do. Two, as much as she didn't think he'd planned to harm her, she knew if she hadn't fallen he would have. That was if she didn't make it out the door. Three, Liam was right, by not going to the cops before she'd made herself a victim and four, Neal apparently didn't know enough to keep his distance. She'd known she had to tell them, the operative word here being, she. It made her mad, this wasn't Liam's story, it was hers. But she didn't reprimand him, she understood why he'd feel compelled to do it.

She made excuses to Liam, telling him she had company coming and she didn't need or want him here. He'd teased her guessing instantly what that meant. She'd still hurried him out the door, face red, him assuring her he'd be back later, or maybe not at all, he teased giving her a knowing look. Mac checked the time, then called her mom and dad, the conversation had taken longer than she'd wanted but really, how did you cut this conversation short. When they got off the phone she promised to call tomorrow. Now she had less than a half hour to shower and get dressed if he showed up early, he might catch her still in the shower.

Macs heart stopped when she heard the knock, as improbable as it sounded, she knew it did. A half a second later it began pounding furiously, sending the blood pumping through her ears. Calm down, she breathed, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. A voice inside her questioning, if you're this nervous before you've even seen him, how do expect to remain calm enough to have this conversation? Unable to move, she stood rooted to the spot until she heard a second knock. "Just a minute," she hollered, then told Goose to lay down. Forcing her uncooperative limbs to move, she started for the door. Pausing, long enough to cast a disparaging glance at her face in the mirror on the living room wall. Letting out another deep breath, she walked toward the door again. The butterflies that had started dancing in her stomach, when she made the call and then continued, danced harder. She reached the door and stopped, shutting her eyes, she took one more deep breath, and reached for the door knob with a shaking hand.

Mac thought for one second about hiding her face or the right side of her face from his view but what would be the point. She'd worn her hair back to kill the impulse, knowing this would be easier if she just allowed him to see. She opened the door, her hands still shaking, her eyes focused on the ground. "Mac?" He questioned, his voice full of shock and concern. He took a step closer, as she forced her eyes to come to his.

When she opened the door the uncertainty and anxiousness he'd been feeling fled. His eyes skimmed over her face, taking in every inch of battered flesh. Concerned, he questioned, "Mac?" Taking a step closer as her eyes came to his.

The look in his searching eyes, only making her discomfort stronger. She held his gaze, "what," he began, pausing as his worried gaze traveled over her face again. His brow furrowed and his eyes came back to hers,"what happened, Mac?" Caught up in the intensity in his eyes, she didn't respond,"Kamron?" The sound of his voice this time reminding her she needed to gain some control. Shaking her head and pulling her eyes from his, she said, "I fell."

"Fell?" Toll asked skeptically. That had to have been one hell of a fall, he thought to himself. Macs eyes met his again, noting his skepticism, she nodded. "Yeah, yesterday after I texted you."

"How?" He asked his gaze not leaving her, Mac, felt it hard to speak with his gaze on her. Searching, and full of concern, the directness of it, making her inarticulate. Mac dropped her own gaze, to escape the intensity burning in his. "Um, I tripped and fell into the newel post." Giving him part of the truth, a version, really not certain she could tell him more. Especially not if he continued to look at her that way. "How did you trip?," he asked, moving closer again, wanting her to look at him.

Macs couldn't think at all, defiantly not when he stepped closer again. Only a few inches between them, still incapable of meeting his eyes. She stepped back, moving away from him, needing the physical space between them. "Come in," she said to cover her action, flashing a quick glance at him. He took the invitation, his eyes still trained on her. She turned away from him closing the door, and regaining her wits enough to answer, "I tripped on the runner." She finally answered, her gaze coming back to his.

Toll watched her, weighing her answer, instinct told him there was something she wasn't saying. A vital piece of the story she held back, he nearly questioned her but decided to let it go, at least for the moment.

She lifted her gaze again to meet his, feeling awkward. The unsettling look in his eyes, making her already frazzled nerves, more agitated. The agitation, making her want to run and hide.

Tolls watched her closely, there was something largely different about her this afternoon. More than just the bruise marring her pretty face. She appeared... He didn't know, but her eyes were unsettling and she appeared, agitated...

Mac pulled her gaze from him, not knowing where to go from here. She had him here, now what to do with him? This whole thing had sounded so much easier than it was. Just do it, her mind said. Then the same voice said, he's only a man. But he wasn't just a man. The thought causing her cheeks to redden, she took a shaky breath. Forcing her eyes back to his, she saw the concern and confusion there, shoving as much of the awkwardness she felt aside, as possible. Searching for something, anything to say to break this tension she felt, "I passed out, when I came to, I called Liam." Forcing herself to hold his probing gaze, even though she wanted to look anywhere but at him. "and he took me to the E.R."

"What did the doctors say?" He asked, his eyes traveling over the bruise again.

"No concussion and nothing is broke."

All right, she told herself, enough! Stop acting like this! "Are you hungry?" She asked, thinking about the pan of enchiladas in the kitchen. She'd needed something to say, determined to move past some of this awkwardness. He nodded after a minute, and followed her toward the kitchen.

* * *

Toll followed her to the kitchen, taking her offer of food even though he wasn't hungry. But he sensed, she need him to say yes for some reason. And as on edge as she appeared, he'd do whatever he could to put her at ease. Curious, over what it was she had initially wanted to talk with him about but he didn't ask. Something told him to let her work through whatever this was first. His mind drifting to the fact, he knew there was something she still hadn't said. Something he wanted to know.

Mac got him a plate of food, thinking she should probably eat herself but the thought of food wasn't appealing. She picked up his plate, then moved to the drawer where she kept her silverware. Turning toward him, she carried him his plate, handing him his fork, she met his eyes for a moment only. The concern filling them, made her heartbeat pick up, his eyes drifting over the bruise. She turned from him before his eyes came to hers, she moved to the fridge, "water?" She asked, "that's fine." He answered, His eyes drifting slowly down her back, wandering over the thin light blue material of her shirt. Wondering again what she wasn't telling him and why she acted so strange. The strangeness could all be do to her face but that still didn't explain what she wasn't telling him.

When he commented on her not eating, she got herself a plate, she really did need to eat, and it would give her a distraction. As she dished her food, she found the courage to begin, the soothing effect his presence had on her taking effect. "Toll?" She said, his name coming out a question. "Yeah?" He answered. She stood there still struggling, trying to find the words to tell him, to say something she quickly discarded everything that came to mind. She turned meeting his expectant gaze, but only for a second, her eyes drifted to his lips. A hint of a smile played around them, the sight making her stomach flutter. If this works, you're not gonna be able to form a rational thought around this man, she said to herself. She walked back to the island setting down close to him but not too close. Concentrating, on her food for a minute, and growing more and more frustrated with herself and her inability to find a starting point for this conversation. She would think of something and then it would die on her tongue. She couldn't figure out how to say, oh by the way, one of the things I wanted to talk to you about is an abusive ex, who is coincidentally partly to blame for the present condition of my face. Maybe, that voice inside her suggested, it would be easier to start with a question.

"Have.. Have you ever been married?" She asked her face instantly red, she didn't meet his gaze. Embarrassed, it was the first question that came to mind..

Toll watched her, surprised by her question, his eyes scanning as much of her down turned face as he could see. "No." He answered honestly, wondering where this was coming from.

"Have you ever been close?" She asked still not meeting his gaze. Her voice hesitant.

Wishing he could see her face, he didn't answer for minute, he could tell from her tense posture, these questions were important. But how he wasn't certain, "yes," he answered truthfully again. Her eyes came to him but only for a moment, then they traveled across the room. "Me too." She answered faintly, "or I thought I was." Staring across the room, her bright troubled gaze fixed on the wall behind him. He watched her take a deep breath, the light in her eyes changing, like shed decided on something. She began, "Neal and I were together for two years."

Toll listened, at first surprised, his surprise quickly turning to shock then anger. She didn't look at him as she talked, he sensed somehow, not looking at him made this easier for her. He didn't try to draw her gaze, even though he wanted too. Her vulnerability evident in her mannerisms and the tone of her voice as she spoke. She came to a particularly difficult part, in her tale struggling with telling him what happened after she took Neal back. She finally looked at him, her eyes full of hurt and uncertainty. She looked so fragile and weary, Toll had to fight the impulse to reach for her. Wanting desperately to touch her, just pull her to him. The idea of her being hurt like that, making his anger nearly boil over into rage. He wanted to touch her to reassure himself as much as her. Of its own accord his hand went to her arm, his fingers circling her bicep, gently. Then sliding down her arm, he took her small hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

He watched her, her eyes had left his the moment he touched her, following the path of his hand. His chest tightening as he gazed her, the tightness becoming painful when he felt her soft little hand squeeze his in return. His eyes leaving her flushed face and going to where her small hand rested inside of his, he watched as she turned her hand and laced her fingers through his, she let their finger intertwine only for a moment. Quickly pulling her hand back, leaving his empty. The sight of her fingers lacing through his made the protectiveness he already felt manifest ten fold.

Turning her attention from him, she continued her story, skipping over what had happened after six months and the details of what exactly Neal had done to her. As much as he wanted to know, he decided, judging from unwillingness to talk about it, maybe it was best if she didn't tell him. Only saying this time she couldn't keep it from Liam. And that Neal ran off within the hour, heading to Memphis where his uncle lived. Placing himself outside of Liam and Jake's reach. Then correcting herself, explaining she believed, Neal thought by moving to another state it would keep Jake in California and it had. Toll couldn't help but think if he'd known her then, Memphis wouldn't have been far enough to protect Neal from him. Nowhere, would be far enough...

When she finished her story, Toll didn't speak. Her argument with Liam made sense now, and even though he kept it to himself, everything she shared that Liam had said made sense. The only comment he'd made throughout that part, was that he agreed with Liam when he said, by hiding from it, she made herself a victim.

Mac finally returned her eyes to him, studying his features, he hadn't said anything since she stopped talking, his gaze fixed on the floor. She waited, feeling incredibly vulnerable. When his eyes came back to hers, she had no idea what the look in them meant but it made the air leave her lungs. The gentle intensity burning in them coupled with what she thought might be anger, making her antsy. She couldn't hold his gaze, her cheeks flushed, she had to fight the impulse to throw herself into his arms, wanting to bury herself against his muscular chest. Remembering the feel of his hand sliding down her arm, made shiver slither across her skin, the memory of the look on his face at the same moment made her heart constrict. Needing something to do, she stood taking his plate, not meeting his gaze. He reached out and grabbed her arm gently, "Mac," he began, "if he comes near you when he gets out, I want to know." Her eyes slowly met his, the look in them full of meaning and burning intensity, conveying this wasn't up for discussion. She nodded and answered, "alright." His eyes boring into hers, his voice holding a warning, "I mean it, Mac." Her cheeks flushing more, his gaze making her feel small, and at the same time making her chest feel full, she simply nodded. He searched her eyes a moment more, his brow furrowed, he let go of her, apparently convinced she do as he wanted.

He kept his watchful eyes on her as she cleaned up their largely untouched lunch, he knew it had taken a lot for her to tell him any of this. It was obviously something she kept close, and quiet. The uncertainty in her eyes as she talked, made him want to keep her close and erase it all. He wanted to show her, it could and would be alright. God help him he wanted it desperately. Forgetting everything but the fact, she trusted him enough to let him in. He also knew if he hadn't been so stubborn yesterday, he maybe could have stopped it. When she turned looking at him, she looked raw and weak, like everything she'd just told him had exhausted her. When she met his eyes and the words left her lips, there wasnt a chance he'd say no. "Will you stay awhile?"

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They set on the couch, her on one end, leaning against the arm, her legs curled up against her. Goose sleeping half on her lap, half off, his hind legs pushing against Tolls legs, where he set. Honestly, since they'd set down to watch a movie he hadn't paid much attention to it. Watching her instead, the way her animated feature responded to what was happening on the television. And the way her fingers of her left hand, continually rubbed Goose's ribcage, made a soft smile playing around his lips. It was good Goose laid between them, if not he felt certain he lean over and brush that wayward strand of hair behind her ear. Then most likely take her hand in his, he'd liked the feel of her fingers laced through his. He'd meant the gesture as reassuring, shes the one that changed it, made it an intimate thing. He didn't actually know if he'd have to courage to hold her hand but it didn't stop the fantasy. He hadn't forgotten Barney's words but refused to think on them. Setting his own doubts aside for her sake.

When the movie ended, Mac looked at him, her soft smile making his heart pound, her eyes drifting to his lips, "will you tell me about her?" She asked shyly. Toll looked at her confused a minute, then knew what she wanted. Sarah, wasn't something he talked about, along with a lot of other things but he told her things he didn't tell others. After a second more, he nodded his head. Exhaling he began, "I met her in my early thirties, she worked as a teller at my bank. Her name was Sarah." Telling her as much as he could, given the circumstances, leaving out the things he couldn't discuss with her like work.

Mac listened to everything he said, as he talked about her. It was obvious he'd loved her a great deal, but in the end things hadn't worked out. As soft wistful smile playing around his lips, he talked about their life together. The house they'd bought, the plans they'd made, but in the end it wasn't enough. He said, she'd wanted to marry him but he hadn't wanted it. Not elaborating about why, just that he wasn't ready. By the time he'd decided he wanted it also, she hadn't any longer. Mac sensed, there might be a lot he hadn't told her but she let it go. Still the shadow in his eyes made her certain. After that, they watched another movie. She knew he didn't watch much television preferring to stay active, the fact, he was content or at least willing to set here with her, made all those feelings she felt for him dance. She stifled the sudden impulse she felt to move closer, wiggle under his arm and hold his hand.

Mac walked him to the door, a soft smile on her face, not wanting him to go. She wished this wasn't always it, him leaving her, with so much left unsaid between them. But she couldn't find the courage, she'd tried but what she'd already shared left her incapable. "When are you leaving again?" She asked after they stepped on the porch, Toll turned looking down at her, feeling himself fall in under her spell again. His eyes traveled over her face, he couldn't see much in the shadows surrounding them, the light from the windows doing little to reveal anything, where she stood. "Monday," he answered, wanting know why she wanted to know. That soon, her mind whispered, wishing she'd have more time before he left her again. A second later she asked, "can I see you tomorrow?"

Mac lay in bed unable to get comfortable, Liam had, came back as he said he would. Conveniently, she placed herself in bed before he arrived, not wanting to deal with teasing that would surely come. He had stuck his head in her room, assuming she slept, he'd gone to bed. She could hear him snoring away in the room down the hall. Rolling onto her stomach to get comfortable. Her attempt thwarted by thoughts of Toll, knew she'd see him tomorrow but it wasn't good enough, she wanted to see him now. She didn't know if she'd have any courage left when she did see him. She sent up a prayer, that she'd still have the same resolve in the morning. A short time later her meds kicked in and she fell asleep.

Toll lay in bed that night thinking as usual, a war going on inside him. Mad at himself for not going to see what she wanted yesterday. His own selfish actions allowing harm to come to her. It didn't matter how inadvertently. The bastard was lucky he was in jail, if he wasn't Toll would get the point across in away that assured he'd stayed away from her. He wouldn't kill him but he could and would scare the shit out of him and make sure he had trouble walking, maybe for the rest of his life. Mac trusted him enough to tell him everything so he'd make sure the prick didn't come near her again. Not willing to put it in the hands of the courts, call him cynical but restraining orders didn't work and laws didn't protect people. She wasn't his but he'd be damned before, he'd let anything like this happen again.

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She'd texted him early, telling him she was going to breakfast with her brother, his family and her friend Tess, asking if she could come find him when she got back. He told her last night she'd see him today so he answered, he'd be here. Not expecting a reply, an amused smile appeared on his face when she did, make sure you are son. Toll didn't know the text hadn't come from her, that Liam, who took her phone away from her, responding for her as she chased him through the house, or tried too. The action making the dull ache in her head and neck, she woken up with, worse. Therefore putting her at a disadvantage, that's the only reason he got away with it.

Hale had showed up a short time later, weary, like he didn't know what to expect. And Toll couldn't blame him, he hadn't exactly been cordial lately. Yesterday he'd been off also, but that was because he worried about Mac. He told Hale, knowing maybe he shouldn't but he was still so angry. He'd been up most of the night, worrying and thinking. Hale, after he'd recovered from his surprise asked Toll what he was going to do. Toll told him, now the bastard was lucky, being that he was in jail. If he hadn't turned himself in yesterday, he might have killed him. Hale nodded in agreement asking when they'd release him, but Toll wasn't sure. Then informed Hale, he still might have to explain to the fucker, why he needed to stay away from her. Once he got out.

Hale saw her coming, Toll had stepped into the house leaving him alone in the garage, five minutes ago. He froze a moment, the right side of her face covered in an ugly bruise. The sunglasses she had on shielding her eyes from his. He shook his head slightly, kneeling down to pet her dog, who'd bounded past her the moment he saw Caesar. His eyes however staying trained on her, she smiled faintly, "aren't you fancy." He teased, uncoiling his large body so he stood at his full height. Mac removed her sunglasses allowing him to see her face, "it's my new look. What do you think?" She said playfully. Hale shook his head giving her a disparaging look, his voice coming out serious, but his eyes twinkled. "Not so much." She smiled at him. "I heard you had an unfortunate incident with a newel post but I hadn't envisioned that."

"Right." She answered, then asked, "where is he?" Hale gave her a knowing smile, "inside. Tell him, I took off, he can give me a call later or tomorrow, depending on how long you keep him occupied." His words ending on a nefarious note. Mac blushed, but managed to hold his gaze. When he noticed she wasn't going to bite, he continued dramatically as he walked toward his bike, "and, would you please, put the poor man out of misery, he's getting impossible to work with." The shy smile she gave him, after he'd gotten his bike, caused Hale to laugh.

Toll opened the garage door as Hale rode off, looking around the space confused a moment, till he saw her. Standing a few feet away, her green eyes on him. His eyes quickly traveled over that bruise, then met her gaze. She smiled at him expectantly, her eyes on his mouth. He gave her his own expectant look, the hint of a smile playing around his lips. He stepped into the garage, holding her gaze, he walked to the workbench she stood close too. Putting down the tools he'd gone inside to find, all thoughts of adjusting the throttle on his bike gone, he looked down at her. The shared intimacy of yesterday had changed things again, he found himself happy at this moment, to just look at her so he did. His eyes traveling down her upturned face, the bruise made her eyes look brighter. The breeze blowing in the open garage door played in the ends of her long hair. When his eyes came back to hers, the question of what she wanted to do died on his lips. The shyness in theirs depths made him freeze.

Mac stood there watching him as his gaze traveled down her face, pausing on her lips, then traveling down over her chin, along her neck. She felt her pulse rise, there was nothing heated in his eyes but still she felt her body tighten. She knew now was the time, waiting for his eyes to come to hers, when they did the look in them made her breath catch again, it was innocent, as far as looks went but it still made her feel nervous. She dropped her gaze, looking for the courage, knowing without looking his eyes were still on her, the knowledge making her feel tiny and a warmth to spread out from her chest, filling her body. She asked the question she'd wanted to ask for days.

Toll waited, his breathing shallow, something was happening he could feel it. His senses on alert, he stood staring down at her bent head, his body tense, watching the ray of light from the window behind her play in the colors of her hair. Her faint voice met his ears, "could that day we spent together?" Pausing she didn't finish, suddenly wanting to know where this was going, desperately. "Yeah?" He encouraged when she didn't finish, moving closer, wanting her to look at him.

His closer proximity, making this more difficult than it already was, his question and the hushed tone of his voice husky and deep, making her hands shake and her cheeks flush. Taking a deep breath, she continued still unable to meet his eyes, "could it," again she paused catching her breath, "could it have been a date?"

Toll could only stare down at her, breathing difficult, his heart hammering against his ribs. What? His mind voiced, stepping closer still, he wanted her to look at him, please god, he begged. "Is that what you want, Mac?" He asked, his voice sounding tense and alien in his own ears. She simply nodded, still not looking at him, her action caused his heart to skip a beat, still he needed to see her eyes, "look at me, Mac." he said gently, urging her to meet his gaze. Slowly they came to his, making an agonizing trip up his body, when she looked into his eyes, she looked so flustered and uncertain, "yes." She whispered. Her eyes quickly dropping to his chin. She wanted him... His insides clenching, his heart pounding he stood looking down at her in shock. She wanted him, she wanted to be his. That knowledge triggering an almost primal response in him, he started to reach for her then stopped himself, saying, "no." He said no, for two different reasons, the first being, his elemental response to her admission, slightly uneasy about what he'd do, where it would go if he touched her at this second. And secondly because she had it coming, after her teasing him that day about going Dutch.

Mac heard the 'no' leave his lips, her worst fear about this coming true, she'd wanted to know, now she had her answer, he didn't feel the same. Somehow, her legs found the strength to move her from him. Not meeting his gaze or lifting her head she stepped past him, feeling sick to her stomach. Surprised when she felt his hand close around her forearm, she paused still not looking at him, he moved closer and asked, "aren't you even going to ask why?" Glancing up, her eyes only coming to his shoulder, she said, "I'm not sure I want to know." Trying to pull free, he held her arm firmly, she asked, "if I ask why, will you let me go?" He stared down at her knowing he shouldn't play with her, he knew that as much as he knew he wasn't letting go when she asked why. A soft smile on his face, he said, "yes." Her eyes still focused on his shoulder, she said irritated, "fine have it your way. Why?"

"You didn't let me pay for dinner." He said simply. His words registered and Macs shocked gaze shot to him. Breathless, she held his gaze, watching the playfulness fade, being replaced with a look she'd never seen. The nerve endings on every inch of her body coming alive, heat swirling in the pit of her stomach, as he dropped his eyes to her lips. She tried to take a deep breath but couldn't, her mouth going dry at the obvious intent in his gaze, she bit her bottom lip. The only thing she could hear was the ragged sounds of her own breath.

* * *

**I am so anxious to know what you all think! **


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